The Road Less Travelledby Montle Moorosi / 09.09.2009
WARNING: Subject matter involves anal sex, lots of it…
When the river is flooded some men take the back roads, but then again some men live on the back roads, this back road is not on any road maps and it’s commonly thought to be taken mostly by porn stars and fans of Elton John. Welcome to the scary and shit ridden terrain of anal sex. Comedian Sarah Silverman once joked: “I didn’t lose my virginity until I was twenty-six. Nineteen vaginally, but twenty-six is what my boyfriend calls ‘the real way.”
Anal sex, which is also known as “going Greek” stemming from Roman age Greek poetry where anal sex became a common subject, the carnal desire is represented as taking place with “eligible” youths: those who had attained the proper age but had not yet become adults.
Clearly the age of classics was also an age of shady artistic premises and ethics, but our contemporary time is no different and anal sex is moving away from being a taboo to a common sexual practice. Like the Miami rap outfit, 2-Live Crew once said, “face down, ass up, that’s the way we like to fuck.”
It’s not all fun and games in the world of buggery though, if the proper precautions are not taken you could be in a world of crap. According to Dr. Dale Stefanos who is a general practitioner in Sandton, “Anal sex exposes participants to two principal dangers: infections, due to the high number of infectious microorganisms not found elsewhere on the body, and physical damage to the anus and the rectum due to their vulnerability.” It’s a high price for pleasure but as the Brooklyn based New York rapper Necro once said: “ If I had Donald Trump’s cash I’d have a plump ass . Everyday, sucking um and fucking um with no scumbags (condoms).”
A 21 year old Interior Architect from Johannesburg who asked not to be named described anal sex in a visceral but culinary manner: “Yeah, I tried it once with a guy I dated for over 3 year’s .Well it’s like a hot knife cutting through bread. No butter. You have to prepare your ass mentally. I suggest one be high on something to ease the pain. And it’s always good to start off very slowly and this will take the booty about 20 minutes (if not more) to be at ease with a penis inside. It’s a constipated feeling, like you got to go NOW! It’s generally more pleasurable for the male.”
The greatest risk posed is the risk of contracting anal cancer and HIV. The incidence of anal cancer the disease has jumped 160% in men and 78% in women in the last thirty years, according to a 2004 cancer study by Fred Hutchinson. According to Dr. Stefanos The risk of H.I.V is further increased because the high concentration of white blood cells around the rectum, together with the risk of cuts to the rectum and that one of the functions of the rectum is to absorb fluid, increases the risk of HIV transmission, “not using a condom under these circumstances is like suicide” added Dr. Stefanos.
That said, it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t offer up my first encounter with the chocolate box, much to my hesitation of being hung by my balls by the lady who offered me her Albany treats. I was drunk, and I was so ready to cut it, pound it and bag it (the vagina) that I totally missed the traditional hole and stuck my meat injection into her waste outlet. The next day at lunch she says to me, “last night was amazing, you fucked me in the ass.”
“Eeerrrrr… I did?”
“Don’t you remember?” The look on her face said, “this dumb nigger fucked me in the ass and he can’t remember, what a cunt”.
“I love you?” I said.
Two days later at my parent’s house, on their brown leather favourite couch and on exactly the same spot that my father likes to sit when he watches his sitcoms, I had anal sex sober with the same lovely lady, in the same position that canines do, while she frolicked with her clitoris. If you’ve ever taken MDMA, smoked crack, won 50 million Rand at the casino or got a blowjob from God with a mouthful of Hennessey then you would know what it felt like. The whole world made sense and all I could see were little flashes of light as I lay there sweating and twitching in tiny spasms like how women do when they orgasm. And speaking of orgasms she said afterwards “That’s the first time I ever had an orgasm with a man”.
I do work.
Image courtesy and © Jason Bronkhorst. Visit him here.