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The Road Less Travelled

The Road Less Travelled

by Montle Moorosi / 09.09.2009

WARNING: Subject matter involves anal sex, lots of it…
When the river is flooded some men take the back roads, but then again some men live on the back roads, this back road is not on any road maps and it’s commonly thought to be taken mostly by porn stars and fans of Elton John. Welcome to the scary and shit ridden terrain of anal sex.

 Comedian Sarah Silverman once joked: “I didn’t lose my virginity until I was twenty-six. Nineteen vaginally, but twenty-six is what my boyfriend calls ‘the real way.”

Anal sex, which is also known as “going Greek” stemming from Roman age Greek poetry where anal sex became a common subject, the carnal desire is represented as taking place with “eligible” youths: those who had attained the proper age but had not yet become adults.

Clearly the age of classics was also an age of shady artistic premises and ethics, but our contemporary time is no different and anal sex is moving away from being a taboo to a common sexual practice. Like the Miami rap outfit, 2-Live Crew once said, “face down, ass up, that’s the way we like to fuck.”

It’s not all fun and games in the world of buggery though, if the proper precautions are not taken you could be in a world of crap.

 According to Dr. Dale Stefanos who is a general practitioner in Sandton, “Anal sex exposes participants to two principal dangers: infections, due to the high number of infectious microorganisms not found elsewhere on the body, and physical damage to the anus and the rectum due to their vulnerability.” 

It’s a high price for pleasure but as the Brooklyn based New York rapper Necro once said: “

If I had Donald Trump’s cash I’d have a plump ass
. Everyday, sucking um and fucking um with no scumbags (condoms).”

A 21 year old Interior Architect from Johannesburg who asked not to be named described anal sex in a visceral but culinary manner: 

“Yeah, I tried it once with a guy I dated for over 3 year’s .Well it’s like a hot knife cutting through bread. No butter. You have to prepare your ass mentally. I suggest one be high on something to ease the pain. And it’s always good to start off very slowly and this will take the booty about 20 minutes (if not more) to be at ease with a penis inside. It’s a constipated feeling, like you got to go NOW! It’s generally more pleasurable for the male.”

The greatest risk posed is the risk of contracting anal cancer and HIV. The incidence of anal cancer the disease has jumped 160% in men and 78% in women in the last thirty years, according to a 2004 cancer study by Fred Hutchinson. 

According to Dr. Stefanos The risk of H.I.V is further increased because the high concentration of white blood cells around the rectum, together with the risk of cuts to the rectum and that one of the functions of the rectum is to absorb fluid, increases the risk of HIV transmission, “not using a condom under these circumstances is like suicide” added Dr. Stefanos.

That said, it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t offer up my first encounter with the chocolate box, much to my hesitation of being hung by my balls by the lady who offered me her Albany treats. I was drunk, and I was so ready to cut it, pound it and bag it (the vagina) that I totally missed the traditional hole and stuck my meat injection into her waste outlet. The next day at lunch she says to me, “last night was amazing, you fucked me in the ass.”
“Eeerrrrr… I did?”
“Don’t you remember?” The look on her face said, “this dumb nigger fucked me in the ass and he can’t remember, what a cunt”.
“I love you?” I said.

Two days later at my parent’s house, on their brown leather favourite couch and on exactly the same spot that my father likes to sit when he watches his sitcoms, I had anal sex sober with the same lovely lady, in the same position that canines do, while she frolicked with her clitoris. If you’ve ever taken MDMA, smoked crack, won 50 million Rand at the casino or got a blowjob from God with a mouthful of Hennessey then you would know what it felt like. The whole world made sense and all I could see were little flashes of light as I lay there sweating and twitching in tiny spasms like how women do when they orgasm. And speaking of orgasms she said afterwards “That’s the first time I ever had an orgasm with a man”.

I do work.

Image courtesy and © Jason Bronkhorst. Visit him here.

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  1. S & G says:

    Montle and Mahala, “giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire”

    I’m not even sure what more to say…quite frankly I am a more than a little disappointed in Mahala for stooping to publishing these types of articles. After reading this I wouldn’t be surprised to find pieces on beastiality (I suppose this does sort of fall into that catagory taking into account Montle was supposedly allowed to mount a women)

    It is nothing more than self serving crude sensationalism. A little bit more detail on the do’s and don’t’s and I may have been able to catagorise it as a DIY piece, but, this…I don’t know…

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  2. dylan says:

    Montle you my best.

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  3. Monsieur Polk says:

    Hilarious, and right up my alleyway (in a metaphorical sense, ya dig) I love how humor couches this uncomfortable (in more ways then one) subject. For one, anal sex has been the new blow job for eons, since I was at high school, and that was a couple of decades ago. I wonder why it didn’t get a spike in popularity when word got out that allegedly even David Beckham is allowed a back pass by Posh Spice. The article was actually saying that Beckham’s haters were even more jealous of Posh since she bent that way… makes you wonder doesn’t it; Do Beckham’s haters want him to be bent like that, and Just how do they find these things out?

    Montle is killing it, for real.

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  4. batty girl says:

    Jesus, i feel dirty for saying this but i think i like montle.

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  5. sycophant says:

    Oh my. The moisture. Montle The Man towering behind me, his rippled torso gyrating, his sweat dripping like warm oil onto my beckoning backside, he fills me with his african manhood and I feel his power as he grinds and pounds my gaping desire. I want to scream. I need to scream. But my mind. My body. My very soul. They are his. Under his supreme control. I am his plaything. His willing doll. He momentarily leaves me, (is he done, I shudder) I am about to beg, when I feel his fist enter and pump me with furious need. I roll over, taking him into my mouth, I can taste my very essence as he grabs me by my damp hair and viciously pleasures himself as I look up into, and am lost, in his ocean like eyes. He is my personal Jesus. I kneel before him, gagging as he enters my throat. I cannot breath, I don’t want to. I don’t need to. I feel the warm saliva dripping from my dynamic chin as I lap and carress and envelop his spire. Montle my rock, My proud horn, my pillar, my ruler. I feel him shudder as he pulls free from my oral embrace. Desperately I lean forward, fearfull that he will leave. I needn’t. The spell is cast as he spays his glorious love seed over my upturned face. I am glowing and glistening with his presence. He slowly bends down, licks my trembling softly stickly lips, and kisses me. I now know the meaning of being a woman…

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  6. Jason Bronkhorst says:

    sycophant, aren’t those all Depeche Mode lyrics?

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  7. Andy says:

    Oh sycophant, you’re a guy in prison, right?

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  8. tumi says:

    interesting, interesting, but pleeeez…an homage to our favorite pastime, but not a reference to us homos anywhere? we invented fudgepacking my friend, and could shed some light on how to do it right, straight up! or show you personally if you want…

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  9. sycophant says:

    Close Andy. That was actually my Anais Nin impression and I was hoping to get a job…uh…probably safer not to use that word…though, I must say, many would probably look forward to one of your female writers efforts on the subject…I digress…hoping to find…work with this classy outfit of linguistically perverse deviants.
    Montle is probably a little disappointed that I skipped the Jerry the gerbil portion of the tale, but, I would never dare emasculate his self-image.

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  10. Schoolmaster Bates says:

    Pure filth.

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  11. Carol Reed says:

    This story has more Kaks that Kif. I find that strangely ironic.

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  12. montle says:

    “This story has more Kaks that Kif. I find that strangely ironic.”

    my thoughts exactley. Andy…wheres my money nigga?

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  13. carmen electro says:

    Anal sex is totally normal in Europe. For everyone. Everyone.
    Get with the program, sweet provincial country!

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  14. montle says:

    why do jamaicans hate oral so much?? i love eating pussy, its like bobbing for salmon without the blindfold.

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  15. Nathan Zeno says:

    not afraid of anal or eating but afraid of PTA! ha!

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