Yo Parow!by Petra Mason / 08.04.2010
A few weeks back we ran a profile on Parow’s favourite son, Jack. Unfortunately he didn’t get back to us in time with answers to a whole bunch of questions and the piece became a kind of ode to his zefness. But finally Parow’s finest has answered our calls and responded with a bunch of original, rapid fire answers to Mahala’s probing questions. Read and weep.
Mahala: How old are you? Or if you prefer, what is your star sign or Chinese sign?
Jack Parow: 28, ‘n fokken fish en n dog
What is the difference between Bellville and Parow?
Parow has more prostitutes
What se jy oor Sexy Aunties?
Sexy anties moet my kant kies of ek wil ‘n sexy antie se cunt kiss
Where does one buy the zef look?
I think they are selling the zef look at N1 city, my chommie Gerome told me.
Where can I buy one?
Behind the caltex in Voortrekker Road.
What is your idea of a perfect holiday?
Hartenbos caravan park.
What is your idea of the perfect jol?
1 Litre brandy, 2 Litre coke, 3 litre Ford.
You’ve got two tracks on the forthcoming Die Antwoord release, $0$. How do you figure this out financially?
With a calculator.
So with all the DA and Jack hype how does this translate into sales?
For these guys beyond getting more butts to live shows… is anyone buying the music in SA or just stealing it?
I’m a pirate.
You sing a lot about the ladies and the ladies love Jack Parow. How do you cope with all the attention?
Do you wear briefs or jockstrap?
Are you a bear?
What do you like most about braaivleis?
You are a muse and seem to inspire. Tell us about some of your more recent collaborations. I see newspaper suits, Jack pimp style
walking sticks, Jack Parow poster art, etc.
I’m making a game where you have to kill drunk ooms and Patricia Lewis.
You are naturally shy and sensitive, do you consider yourself a poet or a rapper?
I consider myself a boderline alcoholic
What was the first hip hop you were exposed to and when did you start writing rhymes?
Snoop Dogg and I started writing when i was 14.
Your early stuff was apparently more rough. Tell us a bit about that.
It was very dirty and very zef and i was very drunk and very high when I wrote it.
In another time, would you have been a poet or a pirate?
See earlier answer.
Tell me something romantic and sweet that you would do for the love of a lady.
I like taking girls to the Spur for a Coke float
Your beats remind me of lazy West Coast rap. Besides the obvious, who do you listen to. Early LL Cool J comes to mind. Is this so?
I listen to alot of different stuff, but growing up I listen to LL, Snoop, Eazy E, Dre and Bles Bridges.
How much do you drink when you do a show?
Is drinking part of your act?
Yes, I have a song called “Brannewyn”, so I down a glass of brannewyn before I rap it.
Tell us about your collection of toys.
I’ve got some for the ladies and some for the okes.
Who taught you lifeskills, your mom or your maid?
Tell us about your relationships with women? Do you have sisters?
I have two sisters, they are kief and I have alot of relationships with woman.
You seem to like rough chicks. More like Jo’burg chicks than Cape Town chicks. As a Jo’burg chick myself I once described Cape Town chicks as wearing cotton panties and Jo’burg chicks wear nylon panties. Are you a nylon or cotton panty kind of guy?
I’m a no panties kind of guy.
How many girlfriends do you have and how many do you wish you could have?
I wish I could have as many as steve Hoffmeyr.
Would you consider yourself a white Zulu? Not in a Johnny Clegg way or a Zuma way, or not Zulu at all?
In a Afrikaans Zulu way.
What is your genetic cocktail?
Brandy and coke.
Do you think South Africans do too many drugs to enhance the party party party?
I like Myprodols.
Which South African rappers do you admire?
How multicultural is your life or is it like most Capetonians: segregated.
The Cape town I’m from is not really segregated, I think you think I’m from another Cape town, I’m from the one in South Africa.
When, and how, did you discover your personal style? Any style role models?
I discovered my style at Melkbosstrand in 1992 when my friends all went swimming in their boxers.
Do you think you have enough material for an entire album?
I allready have two albums, I’ve just been too drunk too realease them.
Do you think that Afrikaans as a language can survive?
Tell us something about boere musiek: do you think the jol these days is like the opskop of the 1910s and 1920s?
They have better booze these days… or maybe not, it might have been stronger back then.
Do you recall the Boere Baroque revival with Kerkorrel en co?
Yes, I met Kerkorrel a while back at a bar by Hermanus dokke, he’s a fokken legend.
Do you think the interest in Afrikaans music is about white culture in its final throws, trying to reassert itself?
Well, some of my black friends speak better Afrikaans than most of my white friends, so I dont really think it has anything to do with colour but Afrikaans will never die so there’s no need for final throws.
Get Jack Parow’s debut EP here. Full length album coming soon.
Opening Pic Credit: Parow with a dangerous lady. Photo © Antonie Robertson.