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Toxic Shox

Toxic Shox

by Montle Moorosi / 01.09.2009

Old time journalists have a very fucked up but I guess sensible saying, “if it bleeds, it leads”. I told my Hasidic ageing bald editor that I wouldn’t be going to the Toxic Avenger show cause my ex-girlfriend might be there and I’m afraid that she might try to shank my current girlfriend while she takes a piss in the bathrooms. This promptly made him book two spots for us on the guest list without my approval or confirmation whatsoever. The last I heard I was supposed to write about the music and not about myself and Tumi’s weight problems or imminent girl on girl violence, but like they said back in the day when a journalist’s minimum wage was still R1 a word, “if it bleeds, it leads”, so let this pussy menstruate you a red bread crumb trail of corpus luteum.

Toxic Avenger

Kiss kiss, bang bang

Dressed in a red and black double-breasted jacket with black velvet detail, a white tuxedo shirt and a black bow tie, I spent the greater part of the night taking compliments. One photographer even said me and my girlfriend are his “muses”. It all got a bit strange though when some woman from Elle magazine said to my girlfriend, “I always see you two always looking so good together, can I write a story about you guys?” We kind of laughed in her face about how dumb the idea was, but the music was so loud that when she said “pardon?” I said, “No, she was just making a knock knock joke about Aids” then she tried to say the whole offer again but we distracted her with our erratic Carlton Banks style of dancing with our mouths wide open, tongues dangling wet in the discotheque like Labradors on MDMA.

Toxic Avenger

That's our man Montle, keeping it real for the kids...

I Momentarily forgot about the fear of my ex-girlfriend coming. I frantically started trying to find a pen and a piece of paper to keep a log book of all the black females in the club, so far I had counted only 3 nigger bitches and one coloured lady who looked like she may have once worked at a fisheries in Muizenberg. Still no sign of the ex… About two weeks ago she called in a slightly tipsy stupor and said to me “I want to go to there’s, I heard hot party”.

The bathroom stalls are always full at the Alexander Theatre. No one was making urine; either everyone prefers to sit when they pee or they only shit, but more likely they like to do cocaine, which was in order for the night if your nerves were as fucked as mine. I can’t afford the cursed powder so I just licked the left overs off that silver thing that holds the toilet paper.

Toxic Avenger

KidofDoom are on, another reminder of a past life scattered with memories of broken doors, a barrage of “fuck you’s”, constant fast foods and copious amounts of drinking with the ex. Their music is charming and for a while I relax and forget about my menstrual cycle trail and wonder how KidofDoom would sound if they got Tshepo Tshola from Sankomota to be their lead vocalist. I came to the conclusion that this is the only way that KidofDoom and Tshepo would ever win a Grammy.

Playdoe then came on. I’ve seen them perform a thousand times before. Sibot had some new beats which he threw on and as usual were impressive, but apart from that, I guess its same old same old. Playdoe is made up of Sibot and Spoek Mathamb. Sibot likes to talk a lot these days when he’s on stage, which I find quite adorable in an almost homo erotic way. After their set, Sibot told me that he’s afraid that he might be outshining Spoek if he carries on with his toasting. I was just like, “get yours homie, get yours”. Standing at the bar waiting to get a beer from my pal Chris Saunders I start to think about this article, and my writing in general… I’m cursed, whatever I write people think its coming from hate and not opinion. “Thanks for the beer Chris”.


The team Uncool DJ set was super super stuff. Murray Turpin and Chris Saunders were working off some old ass CDJ’s but were twerking the fuck out the system with their mixing. The set was a dirty hour of dub step remixes of electro hits from back in the day and a firm fixture of new electro songs currently doing the blog rounds.

By 1am, I had forgotten about the ex and my girlfriend was like, “I think you can relax now, that bitch aint coming”. The relief was mixed with a heavy dose of discombobuIation as I said to my girlfriend, “what the fuck do I write about now then?”
“Err…the music?” she said.
“Bitch, I don’t think so,” as I knocked back tequila and planted my face into her bulging mammary glands.

Toxic Avenger

I get a tap on my shoulder from a white lady, “are you Montle?” She has a very different accent and I wondered if it may be Carol Reed because I saw her name on the guest list. She then says, “its Ana.”
“Ohhhhhh, you’re Nthato’s (Spoek Mathambo) wife, heard a lot about you,” I said.
“I recognise you from your pictures on your blog.” She said.
I was flattered and pleased to meet her, but conversation can get a bit fucked if you have bad hearing like me and the person you’re speaking to has an accent and the music in the club is playing at satanic decibel levels. Conversation in these instances can be settled in only two ways, either drop the conversation or just smile and keep agreeing and laughing at what the other person is saying. I chose to drop it all just in case I may be agreeing to be sold off to a travelling circus in Vienna. Spoek however was hard to get a hold off ’cause he’s so busy with running the show and various monopolies that I couldn’t get to interview him and find out more about his wedding day, which was the next day.

Then later I met a Carol that I do know who is acquaintances with my ex, I forgot her name and called her Lindsey…
“No its Carol!” The look on her face said, curse the day I ever became friends with kaffirs.


Toxic Avenger? Well I didn’t even realise he was playing when he was playing, ’cause it was pretty average. All in all there’s not much to say other than that it was just another electro DJ set, and I’m quite sure I’m not the only one who felt this. My sincere remorse goes out to all the poor cunts who actually forked out R100 and R15 for a black label up in that bitch. So me and the wife just decided to forget about all the bullshit and just have our own fun. Bianca of SABC 1 Live fame, who now works at MTV was there. I was kind of embarrassed when my lady let her know that I used to be in love with her in high school. She was really cool about it and we took some pictures and tequila together and I had this thought at the back of my mind to ask my girlfriend, “hey baby, what are your thoughts on swinging?” But that I kept to myself ’cause I know very well that if it bleeds it will definitely lead to the pussy.

Images courtesy and © Justin McGee

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  1. The PC Polisie says:

    Good work Montle. Doing your bit for racial pride and making sure those infernal pale settlers will never forget. Your liberal use of the N and K words made me think I had woken up pre-’94.

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  2. Francois De 'Ludes says:

    So this is how it works then. White ad execs can inundate us with media that portrays honkies as spineless klutzes and Motle gets to use the K-word and biological levels of misogyny ‘cos he’s, like, black you know. Stereotypes, you gotta love ’em (kinda, kinda not).

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  3. Lisa says:

    and what about everyone else at the gig? and how about the other bands? and dj’s? cutout collective were pretty cool. their gfx are impressive (i thought); elec problem’s notwithstanding. I thought spoek’s stuff was impressive. but hey, I’m a honky. Sue me.

    Without going on the racial tip, may I compliment Montle on his dandy suit. (yes, I saw him and his lady there – she has a great hairdo.)

    As offensive as his writing can be, I find it would be better taken with a stiff espresso and the attitude that he is writing a column, or a portion of a memoir, rather than a review. Everything he has written for Mahala is written very much in the style of first person blogpost/memoir. That’s fine, if perhaps there’s that suggestion up front?

    This was most definitely NOT a review, but it was an entertaining read nonetheless.

    For those who didn’t make it to Toxic, may i recommend that next time Deconstruction throw an event, you do your best to get there, because their parties are most definitely post-race, non-genre-specific, more than bands-and-DJ epic evenings out.

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  4. The PC Polisie says:

    Free Speech. As long as it is a two-way street.

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  5. Robot says:

    Yes, good work Lisa, I am not sure if you are aware that one dj (Dexterity) pulled out at the last minute with suspected malaria, this disrupted up the entire well orchestrated flow of the evening, Destrukto had to improvise and make sure that the party flowed as well as he could despite the electricity problems, as well as running the event with the Deconstruction and Dirty Dirty crew, as well as all the things that weren’t supplied to them from the venue. It is not easy to get an antse crowd rocking after the electricity problems that there were, Destrukto did an awesome job at that. FURTHERMORE, Cutout Collective were superb DESPITE there set being cut short as they were the main people fucked over by the electricity issues!!!!! They handled the problems professionaly and with tremendous good grace!! Adi Loveland also came in later and played a wicked cool set, so too did dirtyoldDisco downstairs along with Data Takashi, Team Uncool and Destrukto. Deconstruction were there from 10 am!! the sound company was supposed to bring cdj’s as agreed, at 2pm when the chief sound dude was still not there, Destrukto phoned him to find out where the dj equpt was only to find that it wasn’t coming, they had to phone around to get a pair, this was sorted at 5pm when Destrukto had to drive to Germiston to collect the said cdj’s. thank god for those old cdj’s, they saved the day. Adrian, Malcolm, Dirk, Barry, Lisa, Destrukto, Spoek et al did an awesome job under difficult circumstances, Just not sure if they will use the Alex Theatre again. The crowd seemed to be having a decent enough time!!! the tequila flowed, the music only stopped with the electricity problems, however that was beyond Deconstruction and Dirty Dirty’s control!!! Once the problems were sorted, then all was wicked cool. Spoek’s performance was electric as usual, the Toxic Avenger was cool, yes, not everyones cup of tea, but he tweaked that laptop and his plug ins to maximum effect and had the crowd rocking, a little better than “average”
    If you are going to “review” an event, please be in posession of ALL the facts first before spouting ones mouth off. I saw you plenty times dude, and you were having a WICKED cool time, and in the hospitality room you were chumming up big time to Toxic and his cool manager Gregoire. If he was that “average” would you have been doing that? Loved your cap by the way:)

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  6. dylan says:

    For true transformation there needs to be an exchange program between Johannesburg and Cape Town. I’d really like an ethnic friend, see, and I would be more than willing to trade all of my alternatief Afrikaner acquaintances for just one Montlesque model c schooled black.

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  7. Francois O'Tik says:

    Dylan, there are plenty Montle-styled “ethnic” people in Ikapa, they just don’t live in the same neighbourhood as you or frequent the same hangouts.

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  8. LIL Baby Hitler says:

    so Francois De ludes wishes he could say the word kaffir..well, unless youre black you better keep it to yourself cause i will personally murder your pets for that…

    robot…if you actually read the article then you would know that montle isnt wearing a cap…so maybe you shouldnt be allowed to critique..especially if youre involved with running the thing..cause clearly you know everything about the admin of the party…in other words, get the dicks out your mouth.

    Lisa…have you ever heard of Tom Wolfe doing a story hauticulture using strictly facts and objective writing?have you ever heard of new journalism?

    does anyone here know anything about creative non fiction writing? new journalism? seriously…go to school you motherfuckers, just because youre articulate and pale doent make you smart.

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  9. tOEGARA says:

    montle is friends with nthato, he’s seen sweat x and playdoe perform a million times, i’m montle’s friend and ive seen him dj a thousand times..it does get repetitive for me too to watch his silly sotho ass despite how talented he is…niggas is only human you bitches.

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  10. montle says:

    big up Justin Mc Gee!!!!!!!!!!!!super photos my good man, had a good time hanging with you durban cunts!!!super time, super time! and in the words of kid congo “its sexxxxxy time”.

    and tell Roger Young i know where he lives….cause im going to send him a cake, flowers and a hug.

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  11. Roger Young says:

    Roger Young is afraid.

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  12. Francois de Buttons says:

    Nooit, I only want to use the word “honky” ‘cos it’s so lekker onomatopoeic in a way that not even the k-word can clobber. Besides, it’s so kiffly self-deprecating in a cutely postmodern (me again!) and new-Serfrican correct sense. Nobody does market research and demographic studies as extensively and exhaustively as the advertising boytjies – there’s no sense in going against th’flow.

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  13. The Suit says:

    @ LIL Baby H*%ler

    I think you meant New (South African) Journalism.

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  14. Robot says:

    lil baby h**ler i was merely pointing out the fact that there was a lot more that went on on the night than what was presented. and i did notice my faux pas only after i had pressed submit comment about the identity of the author. no need to get offensive, i wasn’t getting offensive, merely stating facts that your author wasn’t quite aware of or chose to gloss over. AND he was in at the expense of the people running the event. yeah, have an opinion, i have no problems with that, but to gloss over the REST of what was happening on the night including ALL the other performers smacks of poor journalism.
    so yeah, there be no dicks in MY mouth.
    and yeah, what if i know all the admin stuff…whats the issue with that?

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  15. Carol Reed says:

    Free Publicity is at the expense of the people running the event. Hang on? if he gets in for free must he write what you say? Is THAT why the whole of the music industry in this country is a constant praise fest! No wonder no one takes it seriously.

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  16. Francois von Crack says:

    someone give carol a sweetie…. i recall a similar retort after that hip hop thingy in Durban was covered. t’was just as tedious as the one above.

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  17. objectivity says:

    regardless of whether he paid to get in our not to review the gig, he’s entitled to his subjective opinion. as are those who don’t have the benefit of having a paid voice as a “new” journalist. opinions tend to lead to debate, sometimes heated. debate leads to healthy opinions being informed by other people. at the end of the day, it’s about what people take from the event

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  18. Francois duNicotine says:

    Hey, if you put e’Robot in reverse you get…. to Bore

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  19. JD says:

    You gotta love the way Andy “I’m so righteous I left SL” Davis parades around his one lone, solitary black writer.

    “He’s black AND he swears? Genius!!”

    That girl from Elle had no idea how stupid her idea really was.


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  20. Carol Reed says:

    JD. Get post Race.

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  21. montle says:

    i went in on mahalas expense,not deconstruction,mtv or dirty dirty’check the list..but it still doesnt mean that im obligated to say nice things,i say alot of bad shit bout mahala too yet they still hire me cuz thats how opinions and journalism works…

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  22. SABS says:

    Who needs English 101 when you’re a gonzo gangsta. Indeed.

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  23. JD says:

    You might consider directing that comment at Montle, Carol. In light of his piece, which is practically all about race, it’s a little ironic don’t you think?

    What’s telling is that Montle reads the expression on that girl’s face as “curse the day I ever became friends with kaffirs” instead of “hey, that drunk asshole forgot my name.”

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  24. JD says:

    To say nothing about his questionable attitude toward women.

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  25. Carol Reed says:

    JD. it’s interesting that you should mention irony at this point. Are you talking about Irony or Morrisetian Irony though?

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  26. Doctor L. says:

    While reading this article I experienced feelings of amusement.

    Later, I drew the conclusion that Montle is a ‘good’ writer.

    ‘Shit,’ I thought, existentially; I flushed the toilet and spent 10 seconds staring at the watery vortex.

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  27. JD says:

    Way to dodge the question.

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  28. JD says:

    Good writing or idle provocation Doctor L?

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  29. Carol Reed says:

    JD> Everyone else has moved on, we have a party to get to. It’ll be filled with people of all descriptions, with no hang ups. You will be here, begging for answers.

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  30. tara says:

    always leave space for bleed man.

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  31. tara says:

    always leave a margin for bleed.

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  32. tara says:

    always leave for bleed

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  33. tara says:

    always for bleed

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  34. tara says:

    always bleed

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  35. dave says:

    jd is realllllllly gay…….

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  36. Blah Blah Fish Paste says:

    Don’t bother JD. Carol Reed is obviously suffering from some form of melanin-challenged guilt. Montle’s piece is nothing more than a crass attempt at provocative gonzo(It loathes me to associate the word) journalism (maybe I could use…sensationalism…?)
    Previously disadvantaged is the new black. Don’t you know.
    Parading his chip…a black diamond in the rough….show him the money!!!

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  37. Doctor L. says:

    JD is a ‘good’ man; he is displaced here.

    Blah Blah Fish Paste gives a very convincing description of Carol Reed (she believes in ‘post-race’), while at the same time providing an acute and very telling observation:

    “Previously disadvantaged is the new black. Don’t you know.
    Parading his chip…a black diamond in the rough….show him the money!!!”

    All ‘black’ journalists who work with a ‘predominately white’ publication must employ an irreverent and provocative voice. They must ‘push boundaries’. This is how you get ‘mad hits’ while securing a ‘progressive’ ethos – the ‘black’ is not censored, you see, it is free.

    Montle knows this and Mahala knows this. They are smart enough. This is not a progressive publication, this is entertainment, distraction.

    However, I can’t ‘hate on’ a ‘black’ man getting some of that ‘Tall Israeli money’ – even though it’s most likely a left over pittance.

    As you were.

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  38. djf says:

    Since when was irony a substitute for progress and “entertainment” an excuse for a lack of substance?

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  39. Doctor L. says:

    Since a generation of priviledged twenty-somethings, grown from excess and ‘into’ themselves, took a look ‘at it all’ and realized:

    “I don’t care about anything.”

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  40. Roger Young says:

    I should step in here and point out that no-one gets paid (at this point) at mahala, hence the name. Also this idea of “black writer”/”white publication” is really counter productive. We do not believe in affirmative action or favouring one race over the other or any of that old school bullshit. We like to work with people we like.

    Montle maybe a “privileged twenty-something” (he’s not but i get your point) who doesn’t “care about anything” other than, of course, having a good time and not really caring too much about substance, but we live in country where it’s his right to live that way as much as it is your right to not read what he has to say.

    And Dr L. thanks for generating “Mad Hits” by coming back and commenting so often.

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  41. niggerbitch says:

    I think i just threw up a little in my mouth. This is a far cry from New Journalism. Please dont insult Tom Wolfe or Hunter.S.Thompson. This reads more like, “Omg, im so cool, that i think people would want to know about my trite conversations” meets a gossip column
    i was at the gig, and yes i’ve studied creative non-fiction- the idea is to describe the music from a subjective angle, if you”re going to label something a review, then thats what it should be, and not one-poseurs night out on the town.

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  42. Roger Young says:


    1. When was it labeled a review?

    2. He described the experience from a subjective point of view.

    3. I think i just threw up a little in my mouth because you used “I think i just threw up a little in my mouth.”

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  43. Blah Blah Fish Paste says:

    I think you meant counter-revolutionary, as opposed to counter productive, Mr Young.

    The jist is, that this publication (as with most mainstream media) wouldn’t dare post a piece, pseudo-gonzo or “old school”, which in any way alluded to, say, the benefits of eugenics or the valuable contribution of pre-struggle pale faces to the continent. Yet, does not bat an eye-lid in publishing anti-Afrikaaner/anti-White African tainted bile. (ie In our fledgling democracy Pro-Black = uber cool and Pro-White = Taboo)
    But. Then again. I suppose the site wouldn’t last to long if it attempted to offer thoughts from both sides of the coin. Freedom, after all, only applies to the PC of the day.


    Non-reflective Female Dog’s commentary made me smile. Too true.

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  44. montle says:

    still get the most coimments though!im loving it.

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  45. Blah Blah Fish Paste says:

    Julius Malema would be proud of your mentality.

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  46. Nathan Zeno says:

    I am offended. Does Blah Blah Fishpaste not read my pro white country loving writing at all?

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  47. Blah Blah Fish Paste says:

    Praising Rick Turner doesn’t count as “pro white country loving writing”

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  48. Nathan Zeno says:

    You haven’t read anything I’ve written except something about a road sign from Durban Live. Wow, I’m irrelevant.

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  49. Doctor L. says:


    Blah Blah Fish Paste just said some things I disagree with on a margin of 72 – 93%.


    Props. You’re knuckle-head for giving away your work for free, though.

    @Roger Young

    You’re welcome. I will support you for as long as I remain interested.

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  50. Roger Young says:

    Montle is expensive in other ways. So I guess we do pay him, shit.

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  51. Blah Blah Fish Paste says:

    @ Roger Young

    Irrelevance aside. I do unfortunately read most of what you (and the rest of the seemingly insestuous culturati) publicly spew. I put it down to some kind of morbid fascination (and, of course, for a lack of any other reading related to south african pseudo-alt-indie-pop-rock-culture)

    I suppose it is better than nothing.

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  52. Roger Young says:

    Incestuous is the word. And I’m not correcting your spelling, I’m agreeing with you. But thank you for your um, kind words.

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  53. cynic says:

    so Montle is Danni Diani, then?

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  54. Blah Blah Fish Paste says:

    And The Paradox of Roger Young is Perez Hilton?

    I would find an article on the prevalent incest within the music writers circle quite enlightening. A who’s-banging-who if you will. Also, where will the ex-Bluntmag.co.za staff end up?

    Ideas…for mahala.

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  55. mkay says:

    there is only one real music writer and Miles Keylock is his name.

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  56. Roger Young says:

    Wow! that was low. Um, but good call on the Bluntmag thing. Their stuff should start here next week. Oh and we don’t bang each other, only musicians. They’re disposable.

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  57. montle says:

    what are you people so scared of? does julius malema really terrify you that much? cause if little shit like malema and montle bother you so much then youve got serious issues…its either that you dont have a life or a grilfriend or that you secretly want verword in charge again and that black people shouldnt be allowed to write…is every black person supposed to love mandela and his views? is every black person angry? cause i’m not aangry and im definetly not feeling that mandela nigga, i just tell things the way i see them.

    all in all i dont see my style of writing changing anytime soon so get with it, and if you think i’m ANDY davis’s black puppet of controversy on a string so be it…some of the most powerful men in history are psuedo uncle toms…barack obama, thabo mbeki, mandela…

    Montle has a penis, Danni Diana has a vagina…i think….

    CASE CLOSED,THIS IS GETTING BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.

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  58. Andy says:

    Montle is my black puppet… man, we’re so busted. Danni the game is up. They’re onto us

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  59. Blah Blah Fish Paste says:

    Thank you for crystalizing my thoughts on exactly what type of person you are Mr Montle “Moron” Moorosi (that has quite nice ring to it don’t you think?)

    You definitely do “tell things” the way you see them…through your MTV tinted glasses of victimhood. Definitely all the rage post-oppression…

    I don’t care how much melanin is present in a person’s body, there is no excuse for sensationalist racism,sexism and crassness. Your writing is entertaining on a base level and I suppose will go down well in the corrupted minds of the morally challenged youths of these modern times. Viva mediocrity and debasement. Maybe stick to the music next week.

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  60. julius says:

    Bra Montle, the only problem here is that you are the lone vuvuzela in the sea of honkiness. All these complaining white people are the same ones who think that they understand the black man because they once had a conversation with their “garden boy”. The problem can be fixed if we do the BEE-compliance audit on mahala. When this is fixed they will all see that you are not the controversial black man, just brave. Time for me to assemble our cadres and pay Mr Davis a visit. After the revolution there will be proper representation, while the select few will have unlimited poetic license, waBenzis and sharp threads from Georgio Armani.

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  61. Fact says:

    Miles Keylock sucks. He’s only deified because (ay) people in this country have no taste, (bee) I can’t think of anything else. An ou like Keylock wouldn’t even cut it in Rolling Stone. He’s fortysomething pop music-journalist – arrested development, anyone?

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  62. Doctor L. says:

    re: Fact

    White people hate so bad. Why are you so mad? Miles is a ‘good’ writer.

    Montle is ‘the man’. Lately, I’m just posting here for personal amusement and/or to increase his ‘hits’/’traffic’.

    Why does Mahala not link to his blog?

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  63. Kontlap says:

    Hey Bla Bla Bla KONTFACE!!! Shut the F**k up, go to http://www.news24.com and go write ur bullsh*t comments – ur just pissed off coz ur blow-up doll had a headache and wouldnt give up the ass!

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  64. Blah Blah Fish Paste says:

    Insignifi-Kontlap were you in the movie Idiocracy? Anyway. Can’t resist…
    Your mom never has a headache and she covers more that news24.
    Damn, Montle’s vibe is rubbing off on me.

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  65. TIT FACE says:

    It looks like the photographer only took photos of his mates and they all work at the NIKE concept store in Melville… wack store. Working at the NIKE concept store is basically like working at Mcdonalds but the uniform costs more. That black dude looks like a dark version of Jack Parow, i would like to call him BLACK PAROW. he wears his skinny’s with a sag, christ how wack is that looks like fucking ghetto clown – what look is that “hip indie shit hop” Christ wake up you fuck heads. Plus all the writer is doing a good job on big upping himself the whole time about how cool he thinks he is… Why the fuck did i even waste time reading this – this whole article is a waste and the worst thing ever to appear on Mahala – please don’t run SL Magazine crap like this again or you will lose the credibility of this magazine. Now my whole day is shit and i actually feel like puking.

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  66. Factless says:

    I notice the only advertising on this site is Mahala’s own. Who wants to start placing bets as to when Andy ‘I’m So Righteous I Left SL’ Davis’s daddy’s back account will dry up?

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  67. Fatless says:

    bitter much?

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  68. Jason Bronkhorst says:

    good grief, you’d swear some of the commenters here paid subscriptions and therefore feel entitled to bitch so much – anonymously nogal too!

    Andy – righteous? Perhaps he got fucking bored of the politics and wank that was SL and walked away. Just like I did.

    Grow some balls, kids – put your names out there along with your opinions and you’ll be taken far more seriously.

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  69. Roger Young says:

    I was fired because I spent the production money on heroin. Do I get a free pass on righteous? Or does that mean I qualify as self indulgent? hmmm, questions…….

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  70. Alternative-kid says:

    Justin McGee you’re the real deal! your work is YO!

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  71. The Sitch says:

    You’re (moslty) a bunch of wankers.

    I only read this ‘cos it was passed on to me by a friend – we trade inanities.

    @Montle – glad you get satisfaction racking up, um, anonymous comments. Way to go…
    @Carol – I’m slightly jealous of people who can say things like “get post race”. I think I’m jealous of how far you can get your head up your arse, and from so many angles!
    @Nathan – yeah, irrelevant.

    How the fuck does Mahala get off calling this a “South African mouthpiece that strives to report and represent what’s really happening along the fault line and in the trenches of South African culture.” Maybe it’s a mouthpiece for the few hundred scenesters that you’ll find littering the Sunday morning streets of JHB and CT.

    You really have no idea how small & insignificant & marginal your ‘scene’ is. You’re so wrapped up in yourselves that you think the photos above are representative of the evening.
    Incidentally, I was at the JHB show – and Toxic Avenger played a pre-recorded Ableton set, applied an effect every now and then, and got drunk the rest of the time – that’s what I like to call BULLSHIT. No wonder half the crowd wasn’t on the dance floor while the main attraction played.

    If I was as full of myself as you, I’d likely throw myself up. Maybe this is your electronic spew bowl. Hopefully you see a glimpse of yourself in the messy depths of it – and see things for what they really are. It’s ok; it won’t be long before one of your scenester brothers or sisters arrives, revels in your excess, slaps you on the back, fixes your hair, and takes you out for another night of self-binging.

    Have fun. See you at the next one…

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  72. doom says:

    the sitch ……………….. u say it good man

    @tit face … wack store. Working at the NIKE concept store is basically like working at Mcdonalds but the uniform costs more””

    best thing ive heard all year … seriously …. dude write some more

    just reading these comments by chance …. a word of advice

    all these inner hipster ego rantings are just a waste of time and energy

    do something with your fuckin life

    there is so much more to life than this

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  73. Kontlap says:

    Hey Blabla FishPOES! – listen here, i knw ur a boer boytie – jou ma was so ‘n hoer, dat jy was uit haar hol gebore want haar koek was te besig!!!! JOU NAAAI…ur a little internet thug TAMPON NOSE!

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  74. Kontlap says:

    your mother uses ur nose as a tampon

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  75. tara says:


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  76. tara says:

    “Oh and we don’t bang each other, only musicians. They’re disposable.”

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  77. Roger Young says:

    I was using the collective “we” as in music Journalists, geez.

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  78. Blah Blah Fish Paste says:

    @ Roger Young

    I thought you were using some type of metaphor (which reminded me of a song by Tenacious D about being gentle…)

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  79. Sean says:

    This is awesome. It’s amazing how quick people are to jump at a chance to slag people off where’s there’s no face-time. God bless the internet. The article itself was drivel, let’s be honest, but this comment thread more than makes up for it in entertainment value. Thank you Mahala for providing a platform for intelligent/moronic debate, I will definitely be back to see who says what next.

    By the way, it’d be interesting to know how few people are actually posting here with the anonymity to hide behind


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  80. djf says:

    Hi Andy. Yes, Zeno has already labelled me as someone unusually obesessed with standards, but I think many of us are starting to feel that k-lap’s remarks are beyond the pale, utterly tasteless and fuelled by nothing but infantile malice. Moderation?

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  81. Nathan Zeno says:

    There seems to be a lot of bitterness on this thread. Everyone can see it, those types dig their own graves.

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  82. Burtis Redding says:


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  83. WHatever says:

    Self-indulgent, name-dropping, bull shit!

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  84. token says:

    your blogspot name. What is it?

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  85. Ex 'Maritzburg Londoner says:

    @ Montle:

    In hip hop vernacular I always thought it was spelled ‘niggah’ opposed to ‘nigga’?
    Let’s not get too lazy now. We all now the ‘h’ gives it that necessary grunt. A bit like ‘chutzpah’.

    Now this little gem I did enjoy : ‘satanic decibel levels’.
    Pure genius, but again it’s ‘Satanic’. Gotta use that capital ‘S’ for emphasis.

    Nice is not a nice word as my English teacher used to enforce…

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