
Touching Heaven
by Max Barashenkov, images by Kevin Goss-Ross / 08.08.2010Saturday, Day 2, written from Dante’s third circle:
In the beer queue, I’m suddenly a swallow under the wing of an Afrikaans hawk. The hawk is bearded, in web-development when sober and teaches me to be rude to strangers and to answer every question with a “fuck you buddy”. He tells me to remember him. I will, but there aren’t that many people to be rude about today, the line-up being much better than yesterday…
“I’m Captain Beer and I declare all of you fucked,” preaches the MC and with that, Facing the Gallows proceed to kick the shit out of the crowd. Face-melting breakdowns and racing screams. The only thing preventing them from being the best metal band in South Africa is their chosen genre – technical melodic deathcore is as dead and soulless as emo and metalcore.
At first I don’t understand Funafuji’s appeal, but at the electro stage everyone is stoned rather than animal fucked and I soon see why Evan Milton recommended this dub-dancehall-step British girl. She drops it as low as they go, and despite it being early in the day, people are grinding with hung-over dedication.
Big surprise, massive mind-blow, Gemma Ray is my new favourite female singer. I’m not sure about the slightly silly 50s housewife outfit, but she is a delicious modern minimalist bard, and when she loops her voice and does her own backing vocals… ahhhh – ravenous applause.
Damn you big stage, damn you awesome light show and sound rig, you make the most average band in SA look good. Prime Circle’s Americanized dad-rock is tight and polished, it’s the kind of music your old man puts on when he wants to show the old lady that he still has the fire. Add Viagra. Or three.
They tell me that it is always this way – Friday music sucks and Saturday rocks. At least some kind of trope holds up in this madhouse. There are plenty a of good bands on show today – from the infectious pop-punk-use-the-boep-as-a-drum of Rambling Bones to the filthy electro of Haezer and the imaginative multi-instrumentalism of Yesterday’s Pupil. The shit is still here, don’t worry – the simply embarrassing nu-metal of Rhutz, the complete nothingness of Radio Kalahari Orkes… but wait, I must be weary and watch my back, I hear the Triads are onto me. A future of being chained up in a sweat-shop awaits…
All images © Kevin Goss-Ross.


good piece- much more standard-muso-journalist-at-festival-formula style review when compared to your previous entries (shitting on an angel.) Interested to see what people say.
glad a couple of bands layed it down and restored a bit of faith in the live music communist society of africa.
Thanks Betram… we’re getting tee shirts printed now. Mahala – Live Music Communist Society of Africa… thanks.
There once was a pen-cunt named Max
And our patience his ramblings did tax
So at Oppikoppi
He sought out a story
To make his sphncter relax
This is an interesting article and take on Oppi Koppi music festival. Are you covering Rocking the Daisies this year?
yes we’ll be at RTD and Ramfest
good piece, i’m addicted to reading this guy’s shit now, even subscribed.
@limey rick
you spelt sphincter wrong you ass.
digging the articles max.
You do us proud, Russian cunt. 🙂
Great review. You paint a good picture. Look forward to Sunday and Spitmunky review….
A critic named lawwy did claim
That this author’s spelling was lame
But don’t get all psycho
It was just a typo
So let’s not go dishing out blame
limey rick has no dick
his mother used it for brain
they’re both the same
when you’re inveterately lame
now they’re both on the game
turning tricks
nice one max. photo’s are hot
No Max is not Roger, alas
Such thinking has now come to pass
He’s Brandon you see
Sans vocabulary
With Roger’s dick up his ass
i gotto say max, i enjoy your pieces.
well played limey
Maxi taxi. Nice one bolt.
Tronce.
“Thanks Betram… we’re getting tee shirts printed now. Mahala – Live Music Communist Society of Africa… thanks.”
how about this for a T-shirt print – Hi my name is Max and I have a vagina, but i prefer it up the arse.
.”Thanks Betram… we’re getting tee shirts printed now. Mahala – Live Music Communist Society of Africa… thanks.”
how about this for a T-shirt print – Hi my name is Max and I have a vagina, but i prefer it up the arse.
“An image is worth a thousand words,” never been so true.
“but wait, I must be weary and watch my back, I hear the Triads are onto me. A future of being chained up in a sweat-shop awaits…”
hahahaha
Max with a vagina t-shirt idea rocks too!