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Sex Whale Cult

Sex Whale Cult

by Max Barashenkov, images by Ashraf Hendricks / 21.07.2010

Inge Beckmann stands on a stage built over the Mercury Live dancefloor, the crowd sits around, the room reeks of heavy “art” and a voice somewhere is screaming: “Why is everyone so god damn quiet?! is this a church?! and what the fuck was that?! A song?! All I heard was bleating!!” Maybe we are meant to feel the reverence of a religious ceremony, a ritual sacrifice to Beckmann with our time and money upon the altar? Tonight’s show borders on a cult mass, the audience’s faces stern and tight-lipped – not a hell of a lot of fun floating around these walls, only the zealots in the front row shaking their heads like drones. I’m waiting for Inge to start passing out the Kool-Aid.

Sadly, she doesn’t, launching instead into another song that throws my addled mind back many years, when, as a confused Russian kid, I had first discovered the whale-call booth at the Cape Town Museum. Then it was beautiful, now it’s painful. Similarly, when I saw Inge last, at Ramfest, she was majestic, a goddess with a full band behind her and I couldn’t tear my eyes or ears from her. Thus I came tonight expecting an encounter with a siren, a close-up of the South African alternative sex symbol, but all I get is a knock-off Diva Plavalaguna from the Fifth Element, and she ain’t even blue. In her defense, Ms. Beckmann herself looks uncomfortable with the lack of movement on stage, yet she believes completely and utterly in every note she projects and in some songs this conviction infects the crowd, making them bob in unison. She kicks the shit out of the song about the devil and there is something Bukowski about the poet-boy who recites lines to her accompaniment, still, I don’t know when “intimate’” and “acoustic” began to be translated as candles, stinking incense and a sitting audience more concerned with their freezing asses than the music.

This begs the question – who are these people and why are they here? They seem to be a motley collection of hipsters, safe and comfortable in their cloak of other hipsters, a dash of indie kids in pointy shoes, some lesbians holding hands and a few randoms, expecting something more. It says something that sixty percent of them are up and out of there even before the band has left the stage. An ugly hypothesis rises – the “big time” South African music industry is so inbred and small that, instead of real acts, it produces hyper-inflated whales, that float not because of talent, but because of trend and cool (see for example the Fokofpolisiekar mammoth and its numerous spin-offs). When a band, or artist, becomes big enough to draw a crowd for an acoustic show, they are ultimately already fucked empty of anything of value. This thought completely ruins the evening, and I agree with a snatch of conversation I overhear – “We should all just take heroin to this music, it’s the perfect soundtrack for a chemically induced downer.”

The rest of the night, I refuse to think about music, instead wondering what Inge Beckmann would be like in bed. Would she be gentle, ethereal like her voice? Or would she fuck like an animal, caged by her own image as the sexiest woman on the SA alternative circuit? Does anyone know?

* All images Ashraf Hendricks.

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  1. Anonymous says:

    Creeping Bejeezus. The one trick dog. A nod to Mr. Wolfe & co. The sex. The drugs. The too-cool-for-the-school-of-pop&rock&the-new-black…blah blah…blah.

    That said…I suppose a pretty fair reflection on the insestuous nature of the local scene. But. Surely this is also a vehicle for some form of progress,no?

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  2. nina haagen-dazs says:

    Max = Roger.

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  3. Anonymous says:

    Velvet Underground. Savvy?

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  4. Anonymous says:

    Really looking forward to the reviews when Tara begins playing the C-town…

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  5. IS JA says:

    YESSSS I thought I was the only one that noticed this
    South African music industry is so inbred and small that, instead of real acts, it produces hyper-inflated whales, that float not because of talent, but because of trend and cool

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  6. BM says:

    “the “big time” South African music industry is so inbred and small that, instead of real acts, it produces hyper-inflated whales, that float not because of talent, but because of trend and cool”


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  7. Helena Handbasket says:

    I doubt Inge is “caged by her image as the sexiest woman on the SA alternative circuit” but rather sick to death and frustrated by this constant pathetic misogyny.

    The incessant mewling drone of gig-goers, desperate for something that doesn’t sound like everything else, is now being drowned out by the grumbling of people who ridicule because they don’t understand.

    Pick a fucking side.

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  8. nina haagen-dazs says:

    the “big time” South African music industry is so inbred and small that, instead of heralding the few real acts out there that continue to struggle, it produces hyper-inflated whales, that float not because of talent, but because of trend and cool

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  9. Anonymous says:

    “max = roger” FTW haha

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  10. Jess M says:

    max, however, is not roger.

    i agree wholeheartedly. big up.

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  11. Roger Young. says:

    Damn, Another pseudonym exposed.

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  12. Wow says:

    Shoe! It seems that people are really really afraid of progress in this town. When is the last time you went to a show like this? Its NEW, for god’s sake.

    This is NOT an open-minded review. Rather a backlash from someone that expected something and got something else completely. Like the the miscommunication between mom and spoilt kid at Christmas.

    It was new music with fresh ideas for something different. BUT instead got judged on the crowd and the writers premature cognative commitments.

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  13. What says:

    “The rest of the night, I refuse to think about music, instead wondering what Inge Beckmann would be like in bed. Would she be gentle, ethereal like her voice? Or would she fuck like an animal, caged by her own image as the sexiest woman on the SA alternative circuit? Does anyone know?”

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  14. Anonymous says:

    I suspect an evening about music instead of drunken rubbing up against strangers on a sweaty dance floor might not be to this reviewers taste.

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  15. G5K5 says:

    Nice piece. A shot of opinion.

    Straight, no chaser.

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  16. Charlie Brown says:

    “South African music industry is so inbred and small that, instead of real acts, it produces hyper-inflated whales” – Excuse me? WTF are you talking about? INBRED? like Mahala? no REAL acts? Don’t you like ANYTHING?

    Hipsters. I guess at this site, you’re a hipster if you diss every show you go to. I have NEVER read a positive review on Mahala.

    Good Grief!

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  17. Roger Young. says:

    You’ve never read a positive review on mahala? Wow. You don’t check in too often do you?

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  18. Charlie Brown says:


    At you smirky reply. I suppose you are in the same optimistic bag as Barashenkov.
    Goes to show.

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  19. Roger Young. says:

    @Charlie Brown.

    There are as many positive reviews on mahala as there is good music out there. In our opinion.

    With me personally, It cuts 70/30.

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  20. Anonymous says:

    to the idiot arguing that because something is new it must be good, well done.

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  21. Oh says:


    I agree with you totally! Well done.

    Im having a gig next week, we going to make music at 25 000Hz frequency, you cant hear it with the human audio range but its the first time its happening in Cape Town. Its NEW!

    Please come, and tell your friends to come see the NEW shit.

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  22. Sigh says:

    This is sad. This clearly wasn’t a Lark show so don’t be bummed when you not presented with that. I think Inge’s probably a little cursed with her looks and the voice that hooked a million Lark fans because now all people want is that and when they don’t get it they write sad little negative reviews about stuff they clearly don’t understand. And to the peeps like “Oh” who think they’re smart shooting down someone who’s excited about something new – pull your head out of your ass. While being “new” is definitely not an automatic ticket to awesome land, if no-one tried anything new we’d end up with 20 more aKings. Oh wait. And what’s wrong with “downer” music? You ever listened to Portishead, Tom Waits, Piers Faccini…fuck, the list is endless. Why go to a down-tempo gig and make small jokes about it being depressing? Jesus. The number of writers who review gigs honestly in SA dwindles further. You’re there to tell those of that weren’t what the gig itself was like, not try up your cool-cred by jumping on that already overcrowded “everyone but me is a hipster” bandwagon. Listen to the music mate, the music.

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  23. Max says:

    Dear Sigh, Oh and Wow
    Perhaps it is due to my dislike of supersport-style gig reviews (22:55 Inge tells us she likes dead machines) or my attempt to have some stylistic (how successful or not is another question, I agree) fun with what is essentially quite a standard journo-piece — but you seem to have come to the conclusion that I somehow didn’t ‘understand’ the music (or what Inge was doing, or the atmosphere, or so on and on) or did not engage with it or that I came to the show as a blind mouse, having done no research or preparation. Naturally there is no way I can convince you that this far from the truth. Alas. Thank you for the comments, it is appreciated.

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  24. Andy says:

    Funny aKing quip, but tell me Sigh… were you at the gig?

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  25. Sigh says:

    Andy, unfortunately not, which is why I’d like to hear about it. The gig that is.

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  26. dude, what? says:

    “When a band, or artist, becomes big enough to draw a crowd for an acoustic show, they are ultimately already fucked empty of anything of value”
    Good writing, Mahala. Nice. Supercool. Max, you left your brain in the museum.

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  27. Oh says:

    Um, Max i liked the article.

    was being sarcastic to Wow.

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  28. Anonymous says:

    “When a band, or artist, becomes big enough to draw a crowd for an acoustic show, they are ultimately already fucked empty of anything of value”

    Yeah. A Jack White project or Black Keys or Black Angels or Veils etc etc jaccoustic am must also be fucked empty of anything…

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  29. Max says:

    Dear Oh
    My bad, hard to read tone on a comment board. Thanks 🙂

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  30. Oh says:

    @ Sigh

    I too would love to see some new. Not repackaged new, but actually creatively new.

    i been waiting…

    go suck your mum.

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  31. Katoey says:

    Max I cant help but feel angry that you are taking a shit on an angel and then wondering what it would be like to fuck her

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  32. dylan says:

    Taleswapper, July 27 · 9:00pm – 11:30pm, The Waiting Room.

    closed minds get crowbarred
    ignorant, feather and tarred

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  33. Jethro Seagull says:

    I don’t think Inge Beckmann has much to prove to anyone. She’s proven she can kick the kiff shit out with Lark, I think its rad that she put this show together as a chance to express a different side to her music and her creativity. Its a mark of an all-round performer. I was at the gig; I thought it was awesome (apart from the poet, actually, who I thought was contrived, derivative and pretty much just all round shit).

    Dont mind the review. You didn’t dig it and thats fair, but I don’t think it justifies slating the audience or any more tired ‘insights’ into the ‘scene’. And your closer about fucking her? Jesus dude. Ya, I get it, you’re a badass, you’re funny and clever… have a little fucking respect though?

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  34. Pot Filler says:

    Am I the only one who thinks that Inge Beckmann’s music is pretentious and trite and her whole act relies so heavily on her sexuality to cover up for the lack of talent?

    Until Max wrote this article, I thought I was alone and taking crazy pills. Yes, she’s hot. No, she’s not very musical. Nice work Max

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  35. Louis says:

    As for who those people were and blablabla, I was one of them. Social democrat bourgeois boho journalist with a bond on a hovel in Obz. I hope this aids you in your quest to stereotype all the strangers that briefly rub shoulders with you.
    The gig? Loved some of the songs, liked most of them, disliked one or two. I enjoy following Inge’s career and have since the Spindle Sect was doing its underestimated thing.
    Max, normally I use “immature” as a compliment, but in your case I use it to suggest you stick to the copywriting and get yourself a better class of cocaine dealer.

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  36. Eraserhead says:

    Louis, you appear to be a boring toss.

    “I’ve followed her careeer since she was in something no-one knows about”

    Do you by any chance smell your own farts too? And well done on the hypocrisy re: the coke comment.

    Jethro, respect doesn’t exist on the internet – in print media, maybe. But in the dark recesses of the internet, people say awful things. Just so you know.

    ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE HATING ON THIS ARTICLE: it was funny, and almost certainly intentionally provocative. Don’t take yourselves so seriously.

    Also, my bet is that she’s a feisty lay. I don’t know why no-one is discussing this, but they should be.

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  37. Anonymous says:

    She’d fuck like a demon

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  38. Anonymous says:

    and fake her orgasm just to make you feel special

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  39. Anonymous says:

    shallow cunts!

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  40. macedoner says:

    when i come back to s.a.ill explain to you how to write sex comments ,

    youll regret having fingers to write…

    anything else you wrote …ok . your opinion…you probably suport it with your experience in music and life in general…or maybe your extencive education in art …teenage mutant

    but for the sex comments , you’ll need recovery time….this is a promise

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  41. Louis says:

    Where was the hypocrisy Max?
    I just thought your egotripping wasn’t half as effective as you thought it was and suggested an honest solution…
    And as for wannabees, as a seasoned old bum myself I can only shake my head at the thought of journalistic wannabees. Jesus Christ.

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  42. Hmmmm... says:

    More kaks than kiffs, the results slowly speak for themselves.

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  43. Mahollow says:

    It seems that Mahala has it in for everyone : you are either too successful and mainstream, thus being considered a sell-out; or too much of a hipster and too sexy to qualify as having any musical talent.

    To descend into this sort of misogynistic drivel at the expense of one of our most talented female musicians in the country is nothing short of the sort of journalism you would expect to find in Heat magazine.

    It’s sensationalist and lacks any depth.

    To crucify any artist’s entire career and talent based on one performance or act is the sort of journalism reserved for tabloids and other cheap publications.

    Max, may your career be short.

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  44. brandon edmonds says:

    Oh Maholow how thin the air must be on your exceedingly high horse. He liked her other band. He liked a few of the songs. He didn’t like the gig on the whole. He wondered what the lead singer is like in bed. Misogyny? Wondering what the lead singer is like in bed is about 94% of the lead singer’s job – whether it’s Donny Osmond or Lemmy from Motorhead.

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  45. Sean says:

    @Brandon – not all true. He mentioned the music as “bleating”, said it was painful and then immediately went all Switzerland and loved it for 26 words. Once the 3 and a half sentences about the actual gig itself were done he goes on a tired rant about hipsters (what the fuck are hipsters anyway? They keep popping up here) and all the other people there who weren’t his friends and THEN goes on to pen one of the most fantastically ignorant things I’ve ever read in any music-related article anywhere:

    “When a band, or artist, becomes big enough to draw a crowd for an acoustic show, they are ultimately already fucked empty of anything of value”

    Seriously? Does Max even listen to music, or is he just at gigs to comment on the crowd? That statement amazes me no end. We wouldn’t want to hear Mick and Keith do a little acoustic blues jam in an intimate little pub would we? Or Tom Yorke and a single piano? Or Jack White and some slide on a beat up old guitar? No we wouldn’t want to see that because then those artists would be “fucked empty of anything of value”. It takes a very talented musician to be able to hold up acoustically. Without distortion, noise and layers of reverb to hide behind musos are forced to bring their A game, if they have one. Inge Beckman very, very definitely has one and regardless of wether he liked the gig or not (he’s entitled to an opinion) it would’ve been nice to actually hear about the music instead of this purile rambling. I really don’t want to be harsh but this isn’t a review, it’s just a hateful little rant.

    p.s. I totally agree with you on the lead-singer thing but the end bit would fit in for a Lark show where Inge does do her jaw-dropping, hip-swingin’ thang, but not this kind of gig. Although I wasn’t there on Friday all the other times I’ve seen her do her solo show she tries to steer well clear of the femme fatal vibe and I’m sure this would’ve been no different. Yet more purile rambling. It’s a pity.

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  46. Anonymous says:

    The tribe has spoken…

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  47. Anonymous says:

    It’s time for your to go…

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  48. Anonymous says:

    or even for you to go…

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  49. Andy says:

    Mahollow… it’s not an indictment of her entire career. It’s a single gig review…

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  50. Max says:

    Dear Sean
    I think you misunderstood my statement about acoustic sets – sure we would all dig to hear the Stones do an acoustic jam – I was speaking about it in the the South African context. Just as you said – it takes a very talented musician to hold up an acoustic set – and, well, I didn’t think Inge had the chops that night – hence my lack of deconstruction of the music.

    As for all the hate about my thoughts of Inge in bed – well I was merely voicing what every guy in the audience that night was thinking, if that makes me evil, so be it. Toodles.

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  51. Max says:

    Dear Louis
    I wish I had the venom of Eraserhead, but alas…so don’t adress me 🙂

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  52. Anonymous says:

    So i didn’t see the show, so i can’t completely comment on the music, but just a thought: maybe it’s supposed to be more of an art form rather than something “groovy”. Inge, as always, uses her music to portray something, weather that’s an emotion or a message. By the review, it sounds more like she was going for an idea rather than something to dance to. She can do pretty, ominous or scenic music, thats what Lark is for. Unlike the “Fokofpolisiekar behemoth” that just makes one core sound into four money-making bands (as the only way to survive as a musician in SA is to have more than one band), she’s actually using this project to make something completely different, rather art than music. Not all art is necessarily pretty, so not all music is necessarily 4/4 timed easy listenind pop tunage. Just an idea . . .

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  53. rodger j diddy daddy says:

    Beckmann’s self-involvement does nothing to feed cultural evolution in this town.

    her well has run dry and has mutated into a self-obsessed aesthetic vacuum

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  54. simon says:

    nice writing max! bit of bukowski there too 😉
    what else are you writting? please send me the links

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  55. Anonymous says:

    south african musicians are for the most part a bunch of bobo derivative monkeys, have no opinions outside of lame cultural relativist non sequiturs. has anybody noticed how completely crap gary thomas and that andy guy are. shit mate. if we haven’t heard devendra banhart and sam beam – we probably won’t want to after you monkeys have finished. at least eve from frown family is hot and doing a good job of imitating her idols.

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  56. sof ha-olam says:

    my my mahala you have a remarkable way of giving power to the very person of which you intend to strip.

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  57. react says:

    Maybe max needs kool-aid to have a good time?

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  58. Anonymous says:

    what fun to read you lot! thanks!

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  59. bleak balls! says:

    what a kak review! i have no idea what the music was like that night and have no sense of anything other than what was shown as face value to the reviewer. mahala does diss a lot of people and i think thats pretty kak.

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  60. Roger Young says:

    aaahhh, so thats our intention, to strip people of power.

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  61. dragon says:

    Ummm… Hope I don’t get crucified for saying this, but I really dig the way this dude writes. I don’t give two shits if it’s mislead or irrelevant… or even downright ign’ant dawg.
    For me, a gig review says nothing about an act in itself, only one person’s subjective view and opinion (which is always interesting to hear – at least for me).

    An act will always find willing fans, just like it will find the haters. It’s all about the balance.

    Needless to say, I dig Inge Beckmann – Lark-or-no-Lark. I wasn’t there, so I will reserve judgment for another time.

    Closing Note: To all the haters… who is forcing you to read this review you so obviously disagree with? They should be the ones running away with the comment string of negativity between their legs.


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  62. simon says:

    all this sh***ng on the reviewer – its a great review, wildly entertaining – just because he dises icon inge – hey man she is human too and knowing her she’ll probably love the review – as she has a sense of humour unlike is reflected by some of this reviewer bashing

    great review – made me laugh about a very serious gig 😉

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  63. Sean says:

    @Dragon, no-one is forcing us to read anything, but when I come to Mahala and see an Inge Beckman review I say to myself “ooh, this should be interesting.” And it should be, regardless of wether whoever’s reviewing it likes the music or not. This time instead of a review we got a high school story about the cool kids, the author’s adolescent horny musings and a complete lack of any kind of intelligent writing about the music itself. Most Mahala gig reviews (despite the inevitable haters) are very good, dealing with the music and the show in different ways but almost always actually telling us something. This time not so much. Not only did he mention Inge in passing, he completely ignored the fact that Jacques from Mr Cat and The Jackal, who is a disgustingly talented musician, was there and probably doing some interesting shit. Or not. We’ll never know.

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  64. dragon says:


    Well, I guess it’s a good thing YOU mentioned Jacques then 🙂 So you’re saying that you dislike it because of lack of musical insight?

    So if he wrote about the harmony, melody, chord structure, instrumentation, tone, timbre, contrast, cadence, key signature and time signature, it would have been slightly more of a read for you?

    Maybe for you and me dude, but not for non-musos.

    I much prefer hearing about the vibe, the crowd, the thoughts of the listeners, the mood of the night, the atmosphere, than all that technical stuff. For God’s Sake, everybody knows what Inge sounds like in any case 🙂

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  65. Sean says:

    @Dragon, ha ha, sounds like you should be doing the reviewing dude/dudette. I do agree with you but come one, a little insight into the music would’ve been. Just the tiniest little intelligent thought. But we got nada. The other comment posters on Mahala give Roger Young a hard time but he actually tells us about the bands (negative, positive, it doesn’t matter, he always has a valid opinion). Max did no such thing. Andy, replace him with Roger in future please.

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  66. dragon says:

    Hehe, peace is totally worth it 🙂

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  67. Anonymous says:

    I’ve always respected Inge as a musician and still can not fault her, but the S.A. music industry – big kakka there.

    This is, just like the review, one person’s opinion.


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  68. Duranite says:

    Great article, cool pics. Livin la vida loca

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  69. Helena Handbasket says:

    “As for all the hate about my thoughts of Inge in bed – well I was merely voicing what every guy in the audience that night was thinking, if that makes me evil, so be it.”

    Just because you think it doesn’t mean you should verbalise it. Those comments were wholly inappropriate. In actual fact, those exact remarks are what make it impossible for me to take you seriously. Reign in your inner misogynist.

    Your review gives an overwhelming sense of “well I didn’t particularly care for the music, but at least she’s hot amirite! hurr”

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  70. Anonymous says:

    jesus, what happened to freedom of speech?

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  71. wensleydale snipes says:

    Helena, I totally agree with your view. It’s time for Roger to tone it down and find more interesting ways to be controversial.

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  72. Brett says:

    You should read this in the original Russian.

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  73. Haha says:

    Haha weighing in.
    Just wanna say I like it. Yeah, you fuckers, you did it.

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  74. liz says:

    i wasn’t at the gig so i can’t say anything regarding that matter but, i will, however, say this:

    the south african entertainment industry is incredibly small in comparison with the big guns & because it is so small it is extremely easy to be famous or infamous.
    while a lot of SA artists, including Inge, DO have talent it not only their talent that has gotten them that far.
    i see it every single day – if you’re a pseudo celeb in SA, you’re gonna have pseudo celeb friends.
    this clan cares about nothing more than being “the elite” & engaging in elite activities – VIP events/priviledges, being nice superficially to “the mean” but ragging on them as soon as they’re out of earshot, wearing the hippest clothes & namedropping at every chance they get.

    i mean, most of you have twitter, right?
    you see the tweets.

    so, what i’m trying to say is don’t just gobble up whatever MK spews out of its mediocre mouth & don’t just like stuff that you’re “supposed” to like just because everyone else does & presenter “celebs” say so.

    disclaimer – i didn’t once say that inge or lark is kak so don’t attack me on that note – i’m merely highlighting a few dark regions that most forget about.

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  75. Anonymous says:

    gary is a virtuoso,u fucking idiot,remove the wax from ur ears

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  76. eddie-gone-by-bye says:

    lets play a game called if SA music is kak what is better ?

    and then lets all fly over to Australia with the rest of the complainers…..

    you could probably have written the same review for bjork rodger. 🙂 then people would have been throwing things at you for real….

    and jusis but eve from frown caravan is kak ( had to get that off my chest)

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  77. FlintStoner says:

    Who really cares about the music seen in SA? I mean really, who? And those that do answer that question; who are they? I will tell you, a bunch of boring losers that need to feel that they are part of something so they write stories about bands that are going nowhere in the world. But let the kids have there fun they need a reason to be cool.

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  78. filipa says:

    @flintstoner – you couldn’t have said it better!!

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  79. ... says:

    fuck you flintstoner. getting caught up and doing smoething for the SA music scene is what defines some peoples lives. What is it you’re dedicated to? getting high with dinosaurs?

    PS: I fucking LOVE that mercury banned Max for this article. it just betrays kevin / sean / mike and the mercury ‘massive’ (mostly balding, chubby, and ten years older than anyone else in the venue) as the aging old out of touch springbok nude girl fanatics they are. we peaked since the nudies guys, just letting you know.

    mercury in it’s entirity is suffering because of those old idiots. the club feels dated. quieter. boring. stagnant. they think they’ve created an institution but they’re slowly killing a white mammouth.

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  80. Hadder says:

    Mahala is a platform for HATERS…I have to agree with select comments above…you jerks seem to attend gigs for fodder to hate over. lighten the fuck up

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  81. jimmy says:

    “passing out the kool-aid”


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  82. jimmy says:

    “the “big time” South African music industry is so inbred and small that, instead of real acts, it produces hyper-inflated whales, that float not because of talent, but because of trend and cool”

    on point.

    (if you can tell, i’m commenting as i read the post)

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  83. bahumbuggah says:

    Yes Max, I know. Notwithstanding bizarre, touching fantasies here and there in the thread, I can in fact lay claim to having been ravished by Beckmann. On a single occasion, mind you, but that was enough. I am the man, I was there. Gentlemanly restraint forbids too much detail, but I can assure readers that I was not thrashed black & blue – which I rather expected, given her garb, but you can’t have everything.

    The blessed event came about thus – one wet wintry night, I ducked into a venue at which Beckmann had just performed. I sought liquor, frankly, & was in no mood for idle chitchat. When an exhilarated Beckmann beamed at me for no reason, I snapped, “What’ve you got to be so damn cheerful about?”

    “I’ve just finished performing.”

    “Oh. Didn’t know they had strippers here, sorry I missed it.”

    “Well, you could come home with me.”

    So I did. Nothing better to do.

    No doubt she thinks of me often, a mysterious godlike figure

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  84. Dr Seuss says:

    mister bahumbuggah, i may be envious as green turd, still i have my reservation about wether it all went down quite as u state. even if it were true, and envy again be my shackle, summin tells me ur a prick all the same. thats just my humble “fuck you” opinion. i imagine in you little fart-shaped box, you’d love to dismiss me as whatever the hell ye like. but u take Inge’s virtue (or as u might have me believe, her lack thereof) to the public spit-board. doos.!

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  85. Dr Seuss says:

    now im hacked! there’s this beautiful woman with a celestial talent in voice and the best half of you can do in admiration is speculate as to good she is in bed????!!!!!!!!! JESUS CHRIST GET OVER YOURSELVES!!!

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