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Jacking the Jack

Jacking the Jack

by Nathan Zeno / 23.07.2009

I quite innocently went to watch Fruit n Veg play at Zacks. I was going to address my failure to stay sober and adequately review their last gig. After Sunday night I now realize that this might be an ongoing problem.

Now I try and stay (mostly) objective in relationship to bands, I don’t like it when personal relationships might influence my critical opinion. However when a premium brand whiskey sponsors the event and the band is offering around sips from their bottle of Jack, I have to mingle. The trouble started when Loopy the bassist asked the brand representative if she wanted to “make out, because you’ve been checking me out”. To which the brand rep responded, “I have a boyfriend, I don’t check out other guys”. Loopy may be a big girl, but she is still a girl. For some reason this moment set off a chain reaction that ended with me on my haunches in front of the stage being fed Jack Daniels from the bottle by Matt from Sibling Rivalry.

I was standing by in a daze watching Purity roll her eyes and some person pouring Jack into Winston, the drummer’s throat as he lashed out a Ska beat when I noticed that there was a second bottle of Jack being drunk behind the speakers. It was then that the Jack Daniels rep came to me and said that a bottle of their glorious liquid had gone missing from the promo table. I swear I tried to wrestle it back; the fact that I had to drink some was a ruse to get it away from them. However as it was half finished, the kindly Jack Daniels folk had to acquiesce to Fruit n Veg and their extended family and let us finish it.

The gig ended badly, when the people doing the poetry reading upstairs came down and complained about the noise. In all fairness Fruit n Veg had gone ten minutes over the time they were meant to finish. The poetry representative tried to grab the microphone away from Purity mid song; Loopy jumped off the stage and bared her teeth. And then the music collapsed.

At this point I must point out that Fruit n Veg are an excellent band and one of my favorite songs of theirs has a chorus that goes “We Don’t Give A Fuck”. Also I don’t get how Darren, the guitarist is so super chilled when the rest of them are just trouble.

Note – The brand representative managed to keep her head but was no match for a drunken me combined with Fruit n Veg’s Ska Punk. But we all have fond Jack memories now, so I hope she doesn’t get in trouble. 

Image Credit: Kevin Goss-Ross. It’s an old pic from Splashy, a re-use because Zeno didn’t, couldn’t, take any.

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RESPONSES (2)
  1. Yeller says:

    Give it to ’em, FnV – those motherfuckers are ramming their brands down our throat, hell, we’ll clean ’em out, yo!

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  2. djf says:

    Don’t forget to stop at the bottle store on your way home…

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