Shaka in Rosebankby Montle Moorosi / 11.08.2009
There’s nothing better than the fresh taste of love, art, red wine, pussy, a black suit, music and spring in Johannesburg. It’s better than knowing you have enough bail or bribe money in case you get arrested at the weed spot.
Murray Turpin, Nick Nesbitt, Hayley Dunkin are Mtkidu, and apart from making good music, they also know how to bribe journalists quite effectively. Down to a fucking tee. Free wine the whole night, and it wasn’t Robertson’s or Woolworths’s “Reckless Red”, it was some fairly good shit, it wasn’t a 1990 Vergelegen Shiraz or anything, I can’t remember its name right now because it was free and being as underpaid as I am, what the fuck do I care about what I drink? Goats blood, Moet, child piss, it’s all the same thing in that new phenomena the white man calls a recession, but I like to call it karma or better yet what James Brown calls “the big pay back” because hard times mean nothing to my kind, we’re used to being broke, but we’re not used to being happy. So this is a fairly joyous time for people like me and Barack Obama, Jacob Zuma, Rick Ross and Flavour Flav.
Godart Gallery, Jan Smuts, Rosebank, for the majority of you bummy surfers and office clerks in Cape Town who read this, Rosebank is the middle ground for the rich, the rich who like to act broke, fags, hookers, b-grade celebrities who are almost indistinguishable from “real celebrities” and of course I have to say it again, hookers, lots of them. The owner of the gallery who looked like a cross between Rasputin and Barry Ronge even said in his opening speech, “please have fun and buy some art, there’s plenty of wine and plenty of willing women.”
Mtkidu’s first album wasn’t very kosher; it hurts to say that because they’re such cordial and warm hearted folks with regal manners, but the truth is the truth. Montle Moorosi loves to speak in the third person and he hates to use clichés, but today is a rare exception, so here we go: “The only thing constant is change”, I don’t know who first said that, but I’m pretty sure his favourite rapper is Souljah Boy, which is not a bad thing, but it’s not what the academic world would call “carte blanche” or “deez nuts” for someone of my journalistic calibre. So congratulations to them on their hard work, and their much deserved musical progression and successful album launch.
Alongside their album launch was the exhibition of their artworks in the upper part of the gallery and some other artists exhibition at the bottom, which was a large series of tiny two toned stencils on canvass of celebrity faces, I laughed when I saw a painting of Jackie Chan, Michael Jordan and Jeremy Clarkson, and then I kind of cringed when I saw that Breeze of Pure Monate Show fame tried to steal the picture of Ellen De Generes. He also kept shouting out real loud, and when my girlfriend asked him if he has tourettes syndrome he just started screaming. “Oh shit, I have Theresa, niggas, did you hear this shit, apparently I have Theresa disease”.
Then came Daniel Friedman, Jesus Christ. What a buzz kill, I can only imagine that being friends with Mr. Friedman must be like getting a sexually transmitted disease on your 50th birthday. Daniel Friedman was cool when he was the music editor of SL magazine, he had a good memory, but now he has a huge stomach and wears pork pie hats. The flyer and promo pack for this launch said that the honourable Lord of Roasting and future God of South Africa, Julius Malema would be the guest speaker, but in fact it turned out to be a misprint on the flyer which Nick Nesbitt said was supposed to say “Daniel Julius Malema Friedman”.
Then Daniel Friedman began his long soliloquy which started off really preachy and gayishly political, it reminded me of that strange period in a lot of rappers careers when they start to get sad and emotional and more in touch with issues like Iraq and rape statistics, just look at Eminem’s career after he decided to gain weight and take care of his daughter, or when DMX decided he likes God more than the Devil all the sudden, despite the fact that he likes to kill puppies, shoot guns and is currently incarcerated. I have no beef with Daniel or activists. I just wanted to hear some music, not a Vagina Monologue.
Despite Mr Friedman’s tirade and Breeze’s sudden, acute case of tourettes syndrome, you should come visit Johannesburg. And don’t worry about Louis Theroux, (his documentary Law and Disorder in Johannesburg is currently showing on DSTV – Ed.) he hangs out in really weird places where recessions don’t exist. He should have come to Rosebank where a white man doesn’t need a translator or a fixer to meet a drug dealer. And be sure to check out Mtkidu’s official launch party at Kitcheners Carvery on the 4th of September.
Pic by Chris Saunders