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Mtkidu

Shaka in Rosebank

by Montle Moorosi / 11.08.2009

There’s nothing better than the fresh taste of love, art, red wine, pussy, a black suit, music and spring in Johannesburg. It’s better than knowing you have enough bail or bribe money in case you get arrested at the weed spot.

Murray Turpin, Nick Nesbitt, Hayley Dunkin are Mtkidu, and apart from making good music, they also know how to bribe journalists quite effectively. Down to a fucking tee. Free wine the whole night, and it wasn’t Robertson’s or Woolworths’s “Reckless Red”, it was some fairly good shit, it wasn’t a 1990 Vergelegen Shiraz or anything, I can’t remember its name right now because it was free and being as underpaid as I am, what the fuck do I care about what I drink? Goats blood, Moet, child piss, it’s all the same thing in that new phenomena the white man calls a recession, but I like to call it karma or better yet what James Brown calls “the big pay back” because hard times mean nothing to my kind, we’re used to being broke, but we’re not used to being happy. So this is a fairly joyous time for people like me and Barack Obama, Jacob Zuma, Rick Ross and Flavour Flav.

Godart Gallery, Jan Smuts, Rosebank, for the majority of you bummy surfers and office clerks in Cape Town who read this, Rosebank is the middle ground for the rich, the rich who like to act broke, fags, hookers, b-grade celebrities who are almost indistinguishable from “real celebrities” and of course I have to say it again, hookers, lots of them. The owner of the gallery who looked like a cross between Rasputin and Barry Ronge even said in his opening speech, “please have fun and buy some art, there’s plenty of wine and plenty of willing women.”

Mtkidu’s first album wasn’t very kosher; it hurts to say that because they’re such cordial and warm hearted folks with regal manners, but the truth is the truth. Montle Moorosi loves to speak in the third person and he hates to use clichés, but today is a rare exception, so here we go: “The only thing constant is change”, I don’t know who first said that, but I’m pretty sure his favourite rapper is Souljah Boy, which is not a bad thing, but it’s not what the academic world would call “carte blanche” or “deez nuts” for someone of my journalistic calibre. So congratulations to them on their hard work, and their much deserved musical progression and successful album launch.

Mtkidu Skull

Alongside their album launch was the exhibition of their artworks in the upper part of the gallery and some other artists exhibition at the bottom, which was a large series of tiny two toned stencils on canvass of celebrity faces, I laughed when I saw a painting of Jackie Chan, Michael Jordan and Jeremy Clarkson, and then I kind of cringed when I saw that Breeze of Pure Monate Show fame tried to steal the picture of Ellen De Generes. He also kept shouting out real loud, and when my girlfriend asked him if he has tourettes syndrome he just started screaming. “Oh shit, I have Theresa, niggas, did you hear this shit, apparently I have Theresa disease”.

Then came Daniel Friedman, Jesus Christ. What a buzz kill, I can only imagine that being friends with Mr. Friedman must be like getting a sexually transmitted disease on your 50th birthday. Daniel Friedman was cool when he was the music editor of SL magazine, he had a good memory, but now he has a huge stomach and wears pork pie hats. The flyer and promo pack for this launch said that the honourable Lord of Roasting and future God of South Africa, Julius Malema would be the guest speaker, but in fact it turned out to be a misprint on the flyer which Nick Nesbitt said was supposed to say “Daniel Julius Malema Friedman”.

Then Daniel Friedman began his long soliloquy which started off really preachy and gayishly political, it reminded me of that strange period in a lot of rappers careers when they start to get sad and emotional and more in touch with issues like Iraq and rape statistics, just look at Eminem’s career after he decided to gain weight and take care of his daughter, or when DMX decided he likes God more than the Devil all the sudden, despite the fact that he likes to kill puppies, shoot guns and is currently incarcerated. I have no beef with Daniel or activists. I just wanted to hear some music, not a Vagina Monologue.

Despite Mr Friedman’s tirade and Breeze’s sudden, acute case of tourettes syndrome, you should come visit Johannesburg. And don’t worry about Louis Theroux, (his documentary Law and Disorder in Johannesburg is currently showing on DSTV – Ed.) he hangs out in really weird places where recessions don’t exist. He should have come to Rosebank where a white man doesn’t need a translator or a fixer to meet a drug dealer. And be sure to check out Mtkidu’s official launch party at Kitcheners Carvery on the 4th of September.

Pic by Chris Saunders

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RESPONSES (25)
  1. bubba Hotep says:

    “…I just wanted to hear some music, not a Vagina Monologue” – (LMFAO)

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  2. Andy says:

    Oh yes Daniel Friedman gets roasted… hard.

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  3. julius says:

    Every self-respecting black man cares about what he drinks, no matter how much he is hurt by the white man’s recession. So we now have serious doubts about Montle Moorosi’s credentials. Mr Malema also likes to speak of himself as a third person and he was not at the event because there was no single malt. Next time try harder. Also, the clever man that fixes my laptop every day says that Moorosi’s name is angiogram for “Toilsome Moron” and no doctor can fix that.

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  4. daniel friedman says:

    hi, just to let you know that montle is right, i sucked. i hadn’t spoken in public in ages, got nervous and drunk and lost the plot.
    so here’s to getting roasted by montle and to not taking oneself seriously

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  5. The JZA says:

    word

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  6. montle says:

    all in jest, all in jest. no hard feelings, give it up for Mr Friedman for being such a good sport. stay healthy my hisidic friend.

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  7. daniel friedman says:

    Oh, and please if possible judge me on my music here:
    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Deep-Fried-Man/32767532607
    or here: http://www.myspace.com/deepfriedman
    rather than on my speech and performance that night

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  8. montleisacunt says:

    that was a wank of an article…cheap shot! just what joburg needs… more haters.

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  9. fritz van tonder says:

    com’mon…is that wat passes as a review theses day… he didnt actually interigate/write anything worth while/relevant… lets say the “actual performances” for example
    style, artists, execution,set up etc and that goes for the art on display as well… wat a douchebag and ulimatley a self indulgent, over opionated, waste of my 5 minutes…hope you guys didnt actually pay him for this A grade shite.

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  10. Carol Reed says:

    i still wanna know if Montle is single.

    cause I think he’s hot, I just hope he’s good looking and that the stories about black men are true.

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  11. djf says:

    Mr Daniel Friedman, ever heard of Burnt Friedman aka Drome aka Nu Dub Players?

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  12. Elma says:

    montle, this is your fav white girl/bitch, i am a fan.
    se.ri.as.
    lekkerrrr to see you’re using your talent, when you dropping a single?

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  13. Obama Bin Ramen says:

    Fuck me sideways, have you ponces got any idea how bad you look, all trussed up like a fuckin Shoprite discount chicken, with the bad 80s gear as garnish? For fuck’s sake, I’d rather look at naked fat people than any more of these wannabe poseur twats who think that bowties, pork pie hats, wideboys, polka dots and ‘ironic’ cuts are the shit.

    A little lesson, piglets with your snouts deep in the vacuous trough – WE LIVED THE EIGHTIES, AND THEY WERE KAK! WHILE YOU WERE STILL EATING DOG TURDS, WE RAN SCREAMING AND THANKED OUR GODS FOR DELIVERING US UNTO THE 90’S!

    It’s high time you got a clue and took a liking to Grunge. God knows, you’ve sucked every other painful trend as dry as a fuckin mopani worm.

    Get original – it’s the most radical statement you can make these days.

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  14. mt fucku says:

    Word Montle. Fully Obama Bin Rama. I thought mt fucku was dead? Jesus you motherfuckers borrowing the battery from your dad’s fucking clapped out datsun to rez-urrect your lame pseudo-dork-I’m-creative-because-I-can’t-melody shit? How about you guys climb off your mom and go fuck yourselves for a change? NO ONE LISTENS TO YOUR LAME SHIT.

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  15. mtkidu says:

    Wow…what can we say…to say we are flattered, would be an understatement.

    To “Obama Bin Ramen” and “mtfuku” (Pseudonyms, real ballsy. Nice one. we’re completely astounded by your linguistic dexterity and conviction), we loved that… pure class.(and by the way, you guys must really love Montle and or know him really well, cause your writing styles are suspiciously similar, just an observation, not an indictment before you run away with this one to)

    In any other situation and or context, where we were not attacked in such an immature and deconstructive manner, we may have felt the need to clarify a few concept and stylistic decisions that we had made during the creation of this multi media album but hey you guys seem to know everything anyway and seem to be far to opinionated and knowledgeable (history, culture, fashion, music, art, design ,society, politics, trend analysis etc) for us to possible come up with a retort that could possible rebuke you omnipresence and forth coming responses. So keep up the good work, that’s all you will hear from us on this platform and we look forward to hearing your upcoming albums, cause clearly know one will be listening to ours and you guys will be the sole creators and proprietors of this Afro-futuristic, next level, totally original, amazing shit.

    Kind Regards

    mtkidu

    ps. we actually real enjoyed Montles Article, the only constructive criticism we may have had was about the fact that he didn’t write enough about the live musicians that created an improv interpretation of our songs in the gallery on the night, which was a pity because they went to a lot of effort and created something quite interesting and engaging.

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  16. The Girl Next Door says:

    For the record…

    Has this writer even seen the artworks?
    They were unbelievably beautiful!

    You forget Saturday was an exhibition too!

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  17. daniel friedman says:

    @djf yeah i love Burnt Friedman. especially Can’t Cool

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  18. montle says:

    hey Elma! youre still my favourite blond Afrikaaner meisie…the single will drop once you promise to play it on 5fm.

    carol reed…you never cease to make me smile.

    Wow…im doing a pretty good job..the more comments i get the bigger my head and dick get..so thanks guys..i really like the guy who calls himself ‘montleisacunt’ thats too funny…Daniel, im not judging you, ive heard your music, and that review wasnt about your music…take it easy fam,as a journalist yourself im sure youve burnt other peole before…it had to happen one day right? come on, look at all the fans you got showing support, be happy and move on.

    and didnt i say how much i love jhb?hater? cant you people read?

    FOR THE RECORD SAKE, I LIKE MTIKIDU!!!! some of you got it twisted…but i still love you all…see you motherfuckers at the pullitzers.

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  19. montle says:

    oh, one more thing, im really handsome too.

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  20. try harder says:

    If this article didn’t substitute crass nonsense for insight and valuable opinion, maybe it would pass as an actual review rather than a total waste of time

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  21. try harder says:

    ahem, I meant to say: if this article didn’t substitute insight and valuable opinion for crass nonsense then maybe it would pass as an actual review rather than a total waste of time. At least I fix my embarrassing mistakes, you Montle should try it.

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  22. Carol Reed says:

    montle (no caps) doesn’t do embarrassment.

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  23. Leonard Edward says:

    Has any of you guys ever read Murphy, by Samuel Beckett? Near the end, where Murphy’s friends are on the way to … I won’t spoil it … and they all have so much to say but all choose to keep silent instead? How he describes that feeling in the car?

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  24. Nathan Zeno. says:

    Kerchang! Leonard officially closes the thread.

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  25. White-Chick-Drooler says:

    @Carol and Elma(or any other white chick reading here), yo babes I`m desparado to bonk a whiite chick , help a brotha out LOL!

    Serious guys I wanna hook up with ` white girl …raymondm817@gmail.com

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