About Advertise
Music
Spiderman Photographer

Balls Out in the Bay

by Gary Udemans, images by Brett Dodds / 20.09.2010

My photographer for this gig turned out to be more photogenic than a stripper. Without me knowing at the start, he was to be a gratifying segment of the evening’s entertainment. The evening started weird. I felt bewildered when we were inked with a “+18” stamp to the wrist at the door of what was dubbed an all age’s party at Jesters, that shining beacon of the PE nightlife. I personally love surprises. Especially the astonished look of a few gawking parents when the stripper shook her money maker and pierced nipples in front of their kids.

Dressed in a lumo cap, goggle frames, randomly slapped-on face paint and a fur coat, Brett Dodds was by far the strangest character in the place. Even the penis shaped straw I was sucking my brandy through seemed rather normal in comparison to him. Unlike Dodds, who would later proceed to walk to a Steers, 12 kilometers around the corner, rather than sitting through the Foto Na Dans set, I having attended an English speaking high school found it hard to digest the theatrical Afrikaans lyrics of the headlining act. The music seemed overly governed by some of the more unappealing aesthetics of this genre, that involves maatjies from the whine lands, lots of keyboard and monotony. The evening was saved by my eccentric photographer even though he didn’t own a guitar let alone play one.

Attack

Fortunately during Northern Lights’ set, Dodds had left the venue in a frantic search for Red Bull as he was “this close” to dive tackling the afro sporting front man of the evening openers, River Road. Adding, “this geriatric pop is upsetting my finely tuned chakras” before he ran out the door. Although I felt the local pre-pubescent rockers were quite an articulate live act who caught the crowd’s fancy with their musicianship and (spare the aww’s) cuteness. With a bit more maturity to their sound, some vocal arrangements and some deeper voices, they could very well make some panties drop. And by cute, I mean the female bassist who told a Justin Bieber joke that nobody quite caught but laughed nonetheless. She had us at Justin Bieber.

Belinda

While we’re on the subject of panty dropping, why not go hog wild – Belinda, the surprise stripper that put the cherry on the tit of this Dreamstart Celebrity gig, attracted a frenzy of teenager gawkers to the foot of the stage and raised more than just a few eyebrows at the back. Sick Day September is one of the longer standing punk-rock bands in the Bay, revealed the topless stripper during their catchy hit “I Wanna See You Naked!” Where was Dodds for his promised dive tackle? At least he managed to get a picture of the stripper.

According to sources present at the Steers, 12 kilometers away, a Hen Party rocked up and Dodds soon occupied the backseat of their abandoned limousine. Apparently when confronted by the malevolent limo driver, getting on all fours and behaving like an ape diverted what could have been an ugly altercation. Nobody fucks with crazy.

15   4
RESPONSES (24)
  1. Kalien Kiedes says:

    BUFF larry yet another brilliant story 🙂

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  2. G-man says:

    Entertaining read and a great evening!

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  3. Weener says:

    Gary, I miss one National act and it turns out ot be a momentous night for controversy. Tell Belinda to hit Candy’s, I hear the talent there is subpar.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  4. stu269 says:

    a great evening for PE and a refreshing read

    Thumb up1   Thumb down 0

  5. Jesters Fan says:

    An 18+ stamp was given to you at the door as you are over 18….it doesn’t take rocket science to figure that out!!!
    Under 18’s are given a different stamp so that the bartenders know who to sell alcohol to.

    And weener….Belinda works at Candy’s already!

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  6. crosstown alien says:

    great band review dickhead. are you trying to create hype about you and your friends, or are you there to report on the music scene?

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  7. snapper says:

    that stripper picture being the wrong way up is doing my head in. boobs dont look like that when they are hanging upside down

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  8. parownoia says:

    Kick drums don’t hang like that either.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  9. Jesters Fan says:

    @ Crosstown Alien: Nicely said. I was also wondering where the band review actually was.

    @ Snapper: You’d think they’d know how to put a picture up properly, wouldn’t you?

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  10. Anonymous says:

    more on this dodds characther

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  11. Anonymous says:

    what happened after the dodds guy entered the limo?

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  12. dodds' agent says:

    if you’d like brett dodds to make an appearence at your birthday party, wedding, or bar mitzvah, please email doddsthespaceman[@]gmail.com

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  13. Anonymous says:

    Dodds u legend you!

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  14. I LOVE DODDS says:

    Dodds you are unbelievably cool! i love everything about you

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  15. Nt a Jesters Fan says:

    better angle of the night couldn’t have been found. I’m a rock and metal fan but to be honest I can’t stand being anywhere near let alone inside jesters. PE “used” to have some amazing bands. No longer the case

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  16. Anonymous says:

    @Nt a Jesters Fan
    you sound like a has been… no wait, make that a never was.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  17. Shoula says:

    Ibayi my beloved PE

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  18. Shoula says:

    Other PE greats Tim Hopwood, Anton Carlitz,Dave Goldbloom, Jerald, Fletcher, Dollor, Hargie and the Jed I rolers, 4 winds folk club to name a few great acts

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  19. Jesters Fan says:

    @Nt a Jesters Fan: Go suck a dick!!!

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  20. dodds says:

    i want dodds….

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  21. Lucas Pezzini says:

    ya, kif band review dickhead…. who is dodds and why is the article about him? i dont care about strippers and drunk photographers… i wana hear bands, and see tits man.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  22. Bands.com says:

    Pe has amazing talent. This night was amazing. River Road band did a fantastic set, setting a high standard being the opening band on the night.These young teenagers shed their fear & played their first ‘rock club’ show to a new audience. What about The Northern Lights,did they even get a review in this article???
    Sick Day September,Wooooah I wanna see you naked. These guys are Insane and super fun to watch, captivating the audience in the moment of never taking their eyes off them for one second.Pe has talent & they it! The stripper coming up on their set was the highest standard set for any pe band.Who Can beat that? NOBODY!Good show guys!
    Jesters & all the Dreamstart Celebrity shows have rocked this year!

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  23. LickASack says:

    @ Nt A Jesters Fan

    Oi, listen up fuckbeak. You can’t exactly judge the quality of all the bands by one evening, which it seems you are indeed doing. Try coming around on more than just one night and you might be surprised. You call youself a rock/metal fan, but yet you fail to see talent in any of the bands that try their utmost to do what they love?
    My advice? Take a hot bath, develope a sense of taste and go fuck yourself.

    But then again, thats just adivce. 🙂

    Keep it metal!

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  24. Kitty says:

    My name isnt belinda..its kitty haha

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

LEAVE A REPLY

Loading...