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Hog Hoggidy Hog

Attack of the Lizard Beast

by Mysto Writer, images by JP Hanekom / 22.09.2010

On the trail of a Hog: Part 1

A band on the road is a beautiful and un-accessible space, because, even if you are sweating it out in the same van, cradling the same toilet in the morning, you will never know what they feel, your soul will never know the excitement of taking to a foreign stage, of seeing where your music sends a new crowd. It’s like writing about heroin without ever taking it. Take this even further and try imagine what it must be like to be a nineteen year-old guitarist, filling in for three shows, playing with a band that rests on a slightly faded punk rock pedestal, when everyone is older, everyone has been on multiple tours before. What must be going through his head? His name is Yaneck, he is Lizard Beast and, when they play their first show of the tour at Pablo’s in Potchefstroom, he is more Hog Hoggidy Hog than the Hogs themselves. It is a glorious sight after the drab opening acts and an unashamed man-crush is born.
Rise play first to an empty dancefloor and there is no saving grace to their limp house beats and minimalist guitar that is almost not there. The female crooner isn’t half-bad, but the question is still there – why the fuck are you here? Neeeext.


One Night Stand don’t fair much better. When the singer/lead guitarist comes on stage, I think they are going to bust out some mean rockabilly – he looks the part. Instead he dry-cums as a Billy Joe Armstrong rip-off to pathetic rock riffs and a total lack imagination. Welcome to another South African non-entity.
Dance, You’re Drenched in Semen definitely get the girls excited with their textbook post-indie and half-imaginative breakdowns. This band is crying out to be making complex experimental music, it’s a shame that they are so boxed in by their genre – the skill is there, the drive and presence too, but sadly it just ends up in another panty-dropping commercial boy band. The vocalist can’t decide if he is in Billy Talent, or Kings of Leon, or if he has his own style. But even though the songs blend into one gelatinous mass – Dance, You’re On Fire get your feet tapping, kudos to the genre more than anything else. It’s strange when the rhythm section outshines the lead – the drummer, playing to a click track, puts out more than the vocalist, the bass player oozes collected sex appeal, and you end up watching DYOF for them, not the music.

Hog Hoggidy Hog

By the time the Hogs take the headlining slot, I’m reduced to a grinning boy-child, shaking what nature gave me, on a magnificent nostalgic trip. The Hog brew is just as good as it was five years ago – the place turns into a skanking flurry of pretty Afrikaans meisies, semi-naked bodies and raw, unfiltered fun. This is the most alive band I’ve ever seen. It restores the faith, makes you think that there is still hope for the Cape Town musical abattoir.

Hog Hoggidy Hog

*All images © JP Hanekom.

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  1. luke says:

    max on the whole tour?

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  2. Brett says:

    On a scale of 1 to George Bacon, how much nudity occurred, on and off stage? 😉

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  3. George Bacon says:

    There hasn’t been too much nudity yet, but we’re only half way through. We do have some pretty interesting photos of Max though.

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  4. Ubuntu Bob says:

    Heard the Hogs at a festival too spaced out to think critically and I fell in love. Caught them again a few weeks ago at the Mercury and was disappointedly underwhelmed. Maybe it was my fault for being sober. Someone teach them to write properly for horns, a little ‘bop bop’ now and then and you might as well not be there. They were totally shown-up by Mr Cat and the Jackal.

    Spot on for Rise though… three pretty talented Durbanites come together onstage to produce something that sounds like generic-brand house playing on a generic-brand stereo. Love how Martin has a cymbal so he can feel like a real musician!

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  5. Mr Brian Green says:

    Meh, Max, meh

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  6. cuppa' says:

    I want to start a band. I play the triangle. Who wants in?

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  7. James says:

    Hi George, where can I see nude pics of your trombone player. I have to see him in the flesh, he is gorgeous

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  8. George Bacon says:

    @ James http:/www.hoghoggidyhog.co.za/ross21/jpg

    @ Ubuntu Bob – yes it probably was your fault for being sober.

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  9. Max says:

    Andy, take this the fuck down, cuz it’s an embarassment

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  10. Brett says:

    @ George: Make it so. Also, send me these pictures, I need some sort of leverage so he can stop ruining me about the greenies at Oppi.

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  11. Roger Young. says:

    Max, stop being a whiny little prima donna rookie cunt.

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  12. Alex says:

    Max, I don’t see what’s so bad about this piece, man. Athough, I love Roger telling you to stop being such a rookie cunt. I guess when you’re forty years old and still covering youth culture, you’ve got some heavy wisdom for the up-and-comers.

    Tell us more, Rog.

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  13. Roger Young says:

    Youth’s making Culture. Only Youth’s therefore can write about it. Old People should write about old people stuff, like black people should never play white man’s rock and white people shouldn’t rap.

    PS: Most youth culture is made by 40 year olds.

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  14. Peter says:

    Does Max even like music? I think I’ve seen him give a good review to only two or three acts during his time with Mahala.

    If he hates South African music so much why does he cover it?

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  15. honest john says:

    Peter – I suspect that he loves it so much that he only wants the best for it. You know, like that special feeling that parents have for their kids where they have to practice “tough love” because their feeling of responsibility has been enhanced by the degree of affection that they feel. Great art was never achieved via platitudes and cozy agreement, it is driven to greatness by critical thinking that comes from an honest and often ruthless place. That’s real love.

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  16. Leelips says:

    @inbuntu rob, from your language used with regards to writing horn lines you clearly are an expert… Please elaborate give us some background on yourself as to your credibility. I’m open to constructive criticism

    Ps: Could all you lame fucks(you know who you are) stop turning music into a competitive look how big my dick is jockfest. You really are missing the point of this thing we call music.

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  17. Raiven says:

    Stoked for Yannick…that kid has much potential. So that’s his nickname…LIzard Beast. Pretty cool, it’s better than Shaven Raiven.

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  18. mel says:

    um ubuntu rob. hi.

    the horn section of the hogs are serious, studied jazz musicians and composers working as producers and session musicians in far more serious and grown up arenas than just the cape town music “scene”.

    in otherwords, they have been taught to write properly for horns.

    maybe the lineup has changed since i last saw them, but it looks like not.

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  19. mel says:

    and by rob i mean bob.

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