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Dances with Jackals

Dances with Jackals

by Nathan Zeno / 24.04.2010

Witness the poster for Jakhalsdans. See the ears of Theuns Jordaan and the subtle suggestion of a guitar. Marvel at the abiltity of Elizma Theron to simulaneously play a blonde woman and a cheeky little brunette, think about the dramatic prowess of Christina Storm and then you will understand why Neil Sandilands looks so godddam depressed.

From a distance Jakhalsdans may look to you like a sappy Afrikaans flick but it’s actually a deeply subversive AWB plot, exactly the kind of propaganda that the Juju has been trying to warn us about. The press release has it all: “However, she soon discovers that her plans for a new life are in jeopardy because the town’s primary school, where she is employed, is about to be closed down by the education authorities… Mara has everything to lose if the school cannot be saved and she is determined that that will not happen.” It’s obvious that Jakhalsdans is counter-revolutionary right wing propaganda designed to teach Afrikaans people to disregard and overcome the Education Authorities. Neil Sandilands is a depressed superhero who with the help of his sidekick Theuns saves the oppressed, self-duplicating and shape-shifting mutant Mara from the clutches of the evil and unseen Authority. Christina Storm guest appears as Sandiland and the Authority’s love child, after everyone has learnt to get along.

Sadly, no. Jakhalasdans is really about Mara, a women who turns to “local musician Dawid le Fleur [who] suggests that the money could be raised by holding a music concert”. ‘n Musiek konsert! How much money? Half a million Rand, that’s how much. How is she going to raise that much money? “What Mara does not know is that her reclusive neighbour is actually the famous singer and composer Ruan Landman… But before they can join forces for the good of the community, they first have to learn a couple of life’s lessons.” I wonder what these life lessons will be? Something about how children are the future and we must teach them well and let them lead the way? Show them all the beauty they possess inside? Or how single mothers always need some rich guy to “save” them? Maybe Christina teaches Elizma how to pluck her eyebrows or Neil learns about the dangerous effect of windmills on sideburns? The one lesson we can learn from the poster alone is that Darryl Roodt has just made his Afrikaans version of Father Hood unfortunately for him if Jakhaldans makes half the money Father Hood did, it’ll be considered a hit.

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  1. mjg says:

    Gee Ma, can I please, pretty please, be Ben Travato for a day.

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  2. Andy says:

    funny you should mention… Ben Travato is Nathan Zeno’s uncle.

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  3. mjg says:


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  4. Lizzy says:

    ha ha ha ha ha. ha.

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  5. L says:

    Kak review. Really. Not even a film review. If you rip a film’s press release and poster you are just lazy. Go read Empire to see how you do a decent review.

    Typical “rooinek” cheap shot at Afrikaner culture. Disregarding the fact that the Afrikaans entertainment industry outperforms and outsells the English entertainment industry in this country is probably also an AWB move. Wow.

    Please fuck off and go mingle with the pseudo intellectualism that you try so hard to achieve.

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  6. mother says:

    L go back to bed, you really missed the review.

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  7. L is for Loser says:

    if “credibility via sales” is the only legs your “culture” has to stand on, then I’d suggest moving to China. They also do popularity by numbers.

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  8. L says:

    Nowhere did I state that Afrikaner culture gains credibility via sales. Just that it’s not something to disregard. Support for Afrikaans entertainment is pretty fucking huge in comparison to the English market. Now it becomes deeply subversive AWB propaganda. I’m not applauding the merit of the film. Coincidentally I saw the trailer on television yesterday and I thought that it looks pretty average. The plot is extremely similar to that of Chocolat. But the film is the first Afrikaans drama to make it onto the big screen in a while. It has the aspiration to tell a story that takes place in a setting a lot of the Afrikaans music buying/Kyknet watching/KKNK going-public can relate to. The platteland. Check it out. Pretty rad place. Just remember to take sunscreen. @mother Did I miss the review? Yes i did. Or is it on another page?
    (Also, @L is For Loser, check out Paljas (1997) by Katinka Heyns. Really good movie. Got shortlisted for an Academy Award way back. Even has subtitles if the ‘kaans gets a bit too much.)

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  9. Eendrag maak mag says:

    I’m with you L.
    You are wasting your breath.

    Mahala is all about the uber-liberal-bleeding-heart-rooinek-wish-we-were-born-black-trying-not-to-be-eurocentric-because-of-our-white-guilt-hipster schlock. Their KKNK “review” is a prime example of the type of Afrikaner trash-talk they love to promote.

    I am an english speaking south african and it disgusts me the way in which this publication tears into afrikaner culture and blatantly attempts to demean the profound positive contributions of afrikaners in building this country.

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  10. The Fascist Dictionary says:

    For someone who wants to promote Afrikaner culture as a positive force for a South African future, you really could have done better for a name than chosing the official slogan of the old Apartheid regime.

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  11. Andy says:

    Jislaaik you people take this stuff way too seriously. And Eendrag your support of Afrikaans culture is both hysterical and dogmatic. This was just a little bit of fun about a pretty kak drama that Darrel Roodt made… that just happens to be in Afrikaans. And yes we poked fun at it. It’s not an indictment of Afrikaans culture… much of which we love and are inspired by and report on regularly… However, your thinking, where you equate a little bit of criticism as a dig at the whole culture, makes you small and overly defensive of a very robust culture. And inevitably says more about your hang ups than it does about anything else.

    And as for the KKNK, when it starts to adequately represent black Afrikaans culture, we’ll be more generous in our criticism of it. There’s no vendetta against Afrikaans. just a vendetta against the kind of ignorance and sycophancy your views so aptly represent.


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  12. Eendrag maak mag says:

    “The hero draws inspiration from the virtue of his ancestors.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

    @ Andy (Don’t Touch Me On My Studio) – “Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.” Mark Twain

    @The Fascist Dictionary – Don’t be like that. Next you will be calling all biltong & koeksister eaters fascists.

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  13. Eendrag maak mag says:

    I suppose it would be a little more constructive of me to point out that whilst it would be nigh impossible to defend the film reviewed above, which is wide open to the pokes as administered by your reviewer, it would gall me less to see a more balanced perspective of the modern day Afrikaner portrayed in this publication.
    A few more articles giving voice to the valid concerns of the now marginalized white Afrikaners who’s fears are portrayed in most mainstream media as the laughable baying of a downed beast.
    Despite Andy’s feeble defense above, this publication seems to happily debase Afrikaners and mostly labels them backward Nationalist racist buffoons who are doing nothing to re-build the county under the new administration. The spotlight is instead given to black diamonds and the “struggle” with the scales tipped ridiculously to the left.

    The gist – It would be excellent and brave of this website to publish articles which explore all perspectives instead of only the blatantly skewed and biased leftist views expressed currently.

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  14. Nathan Zeno says:

    I know most people don’t think of Francois Van Coke, Peach Van Pletzen, Werner Olckers, Peet Pienaar, Natashja Fourie, Inge Beckman, Jack Parow and that ilk as Afrikaners but we’ve been pretty positive about what they’re doing.

    Also @L (I know everyone else gets this but) I wasn’t being SERIOUS about it being an AWB move, I was making fun of people who would think that, notably, in @Eendrag maak mag’s words the “uber-liberal-bleeding-heart-rooinek-wish-we-were-born-black-trying-not-to-be-eurocentric-because-of-our-white-guilt-hipster”’s

    Just so you guys know, this is a higher grade site, a home school education is just not going to cut it here.

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  15. Dee says:

    fok. this review actually makes you feel entertained. this movie, im not so sure about. the fact that anyone thinks this movie is what afrikanerdom is about maybe means they are chinese. viva jack parow!

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  16. Andy says:

    Some of my best friends are Afrikaans

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  17. Andy says:

    Oh and this movie had the highest grossing weekend for Afrikaans flieks since Lipstiek Dipstiek…

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  18. Kevin Dyer says:

    My Afrikaans friends (yes I am showing off) went to see this at the premier and were appalled. They have said the movie is so badly scripted, acted and directed that it makes them ashamed it was written in Afrikaans as it pulls the culture down further than a Steve Hofmeyer open letter. I think possibly the other commentators should see the film before they leap to its defence. You may just wish you hadn’t.

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  19. Eendrag maak mag says:

    I don’t think anyone above was defending the film. Concerns were raised that Mahala only seems to highlight the inadequacies of the white Afrikaner and misses no chance to poke fun at the Afrikaner culture in general. A more balanced view would be in order. But. Any has Akrikaans friends so all is good…

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  20. Eendrag maak mag says:

    That final line should read….”Andy has Akrikaans friends so all is good…

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  21. another L says:

    on April 28, 2010 at 10:27 am Nathan Zeno says:
    “Just so you guys know, this is a higher grade site, a home school education is just not going to cut it here.”

    As a soon to be returning to SA home educator living in the UK I’d like to know what this means and what it is based on please? This is an awful insult to millions of people who home educate and are home educated. I was just about to become a regular reader of this site but I think I’ll go find somewhere else where blog writers are not prejudiced, judgemental, and uhm…uneducated enough to make comments like this. WTF?!

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  22. Nathan Zeno says:

    @Another L – You’re not going to read more than 15 writers because one writer in the bunch offends you? That’s like not watching TV because you hate the breakfast show.

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  23. Muckety Muck says:

    I vote Mahala cuts the actual articles and just publishes all the big clever comments from now on, they’re way more entertaining. Maybe heartbreaking. That’s why we love the interweb, right?

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  24. Buchu says:

    The word “jakhaldans” , actually refers to a Khoi/San ritual.
    I wonder if they actually make reference to this in the film.
    (on an aside I just want to add that Afrikaans was started by slaves)

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  25. Anonymous says:

    los theuns se ore uit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  26. Raka says:

    @ Buchu… Jou ma … afrikaans started by Slaves. The biggest load of rubbish you could drivel from you tik infested brain.

    And to think all of this discussions started because Mahala could only get someone that did the 2 day “Essential Critique” course at the Station Deck.

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  27. dude, what? says:

    dude, wat?

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  28. Chris Lane says:

    I enjoyed the movie immensely.

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  29. Chris Lane says:

    and don’t see the need for the swearing in the previous posts.

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  30. fpk says says:

    I think Nathan Zeno is a asshole I though Jakhalsdans was very good
    better than some of the rubbish that the Americans dish up I am a big
    fan of Theuns Jordaan I wonder what Nathan looks like??????

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