KIF or KAK?by Nathan Zeno / 05.06.2009
You can now buy vibrating cock rings at Pick n Pay. I don’t know what else to say. It makes me want to celebrate; it makes me want to vomit in my mouth a little. I’m deeply happy that along with your GM Soya burgers you can get a handy vibrating plastic sex toy. I like that it’s right next to the toothbrushes and nowhere near the hand cream. I think it’s a sign of a deeply liberal society; I also think it’s a little creepy. But I like creepy, so I guess I like this. The idea of people getting more enjoyment out of their partners or themselves is great. It makes me think that if we could get these into more shops, at a cheaper price, then maybe people will find they don’t need drugs, alcohol or cigarettes. Or maybe more cigarettes?
Anyway, they’re on the shelves and packaged subtly so as not to offend. I may not like your vibrating cock ring, but I will fight to my death for your right to buy it from your local supermarket and take it home and use it. I just want to know what the phrase “With a comfort design simulator so that you can experiment” means. Or, rather, I don’t want to know.