What Would Hipster Jesus Do? He would forgive you for the skinny jeans, the foppish hairstyle and your taste in generic new school South African indie rock. He’d keep an amazing blog and forgive you for wearing wayfarers without lenses, smoking Stuyvie blues, only having white friends and not getting a big enough chest tattoo. He’d ride a vintage Raleigh fixie. He’d also, invariably, be hot, black, female and into inaccessible vernac acoustic jazz hop that you will never enjoy, let alone understand.