Yes yes cheapskates, bums, hobos and the unemployed we have got our filthy little mits on the hottest tickets in town. Or should that be the bushveld? Either way, we’re handing out free double-tickets to this year’s Oppikoppi. The line up is ridiculous. Easily the biggest, most important contemporary South African music showcase of the year. All you need to do to scoop our free tickets is write us a little limerick (yes a limerick) a witty little ode to the bosveld skop that is Oppikoppi. Email it to us here and stand expectantly by your inbox with your upturned palm out…
There was a young girl called Kira
She loved to drink Jose Cuervo tequila
Until the day, she started to say
that Oppikoppie was the best way to
decay
surely its sexy crooked teeth not sex crooked teeth? grumpy now as i bought my ticket this morning. could write a limerick about how grumpy i am but it makes no difference.
the “here” appears to be unclickable
By die koppie vergader ons jaar op jaar,
Uit die eindhoeke van die land sluip almal bymekaar
Want gesaamentlik het ons ‘n doel
Om die wereld daar buite te vergeet en soos een die musiekale talent van SA te voel.
Met die bosveld son op my gesig en dorings in my skoene
Warm bier in my hand en vriende an elke kant
Vier ek my ewige jong gees
Hier op die koppie kan ons net wees
Clinch
A crooked dispute challenges my thoughts
all these ought not or oughts.
Looking back on what I earned,
there’s not more than what I’ve learned.
Yet, a sexy dispute haunts my desire,
all the music I love and admire.
Looking forward to what I’ve seen,
this is the place I’ll surely be.
Still this despute drives me crazy,
cause not being that of being lazy.
Looking straight at what I meant, I see my sexy crooked teeth, clinching in my two-man tent!
Op ‘n bergie hoop sit ek vroom
besin oor Parow en die reuk van kroniese boom
Ek soek na sente vir sigarette en note vir drank
Mar al wat ek ruik is my kouse se stank.
Moermal sit ek en kontempleer
of ek ooit my les sal leer.
Ag nee fok dit.
Ek sal na my jaarlikse Oppikoppie weer probeer.
Sexy Crooked Teeth hier kom ek!
Hier is Oppikoppi!!
Alles wat jy nodig het omi naweek ni te floppi.
Wel suip,rook en partytjie val in my segment.
Met Billy met sy talent,come on bra
ek suk dalk nog n drink mt die legend.
So gee my asb kaartjies na die beste festival ooit
Dan wys ek jo hu stoppi party nooit.
For free tickets I’ll conjour some tricks
To that musical fest in the sticks
To win will be simple
Like squeezing a pimple
‘cos these Dutchmen can’t write Limericks
Sexy Crooked I’ll be there before long
Oh ye fest of debaucherous song
But steamy and skew
Applies not just to you
It also refers to my schlong
Soutpiel and Mouldmember are our competition leaders…. at least they can write limericks.
For fine music in bushes and grass
I beg you please grant me a pass
Will you be there too?
Please say that you do
I want to kick Roger’s fat arse
ooh Kinky we have a new log leader
Oh mahala please give me just this
An escape for some musical bliss
For BLK JKS and Jack Parow,
Pestroy and The Narrow,
But Prime Circle I shall give a miss
‘n limiriek kan ‘n boerseun ook gooi
Sy vaart met Die Taal is mos mooi
Maar sy tjoons is so kaklik
Die bewys is so maklik
Dat ons die Engelse bands moet ontplooi
Oppikoppi is not for the geeky
The mahala boys play hide & seeky
But the bands after dark
Do not include Lark
So Inge & Max cannot get freaky
go meathead!
sex and drugs and oppikoppi
the life for those under forty
some over too
we dont care who
as long as they can keep it naughty
please post the emailed ones too!
we are again at oppikoppie
the alcohol makes us feel quite doughty
look there in the bush
he’s biting her tush
koppie always tends to get quite naughty
Have our bands tried their limerick luck?
To enchant with their lyrical pluck
Then Oppikoppi they’ll play
And we get to say:
“This explains why their songs are so kak”
for honkies it’s filled with delights
with music for three days and nights
but many should ask
if it’s up to the task
cos the lineup is almost all whites
They said Oppikoppi was balmy
But my first time served to alarm me
The music came second
To what I then reckoned
More white trash than I saw in the army
rumours of a coke cartel
compelled tuin dwergies to rebel
just strings and skins and rambling bones
as taxi violence also rose
grave danger at the kreef hotel
From today oppikoppi is the place to be,
working late poses a problem see,
Everyone is getting boozd up but me,
Low on cash so I need a ticket free!
Give em to me and I will party like a rockstar,
Drink more than I will at any bar,
Maybe do something illegal
with a gal thats hopefully legal;-)
There once was a guy named Jimbo,
Who was promised tickets but they didnt show,
Jimbos lip is on the floor,
and his unreliable friend is sore,
All because to OppiKoppie he wants to go!!!!!!
PLEASE!!!!
so what happened to the free tickets?