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Sexy Crooked Teeth

Sex Crooked Teeth


Yes yes cheapskates, bums, hobos and the unemployed we have got our filthy little mits on the hottest tickets in town. Or should that be the bushveld? Either way, we’re handing out free double-tickets to this year’s Oppikoppi. The line up is ridiculous. Easily the biggest, most important contemporary South African music showcase of the year. All you need to do to scoop our free tickets is write us a little limerick (yes a limerick) a witty little ode to the bosveld skop that is Oppikoppi. Email it to us here and stand expectantly by your inbox with your upturned palm out…

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  1. KIRA says:

    There was a young girl called Kira
    She loved to drink Jose Cuervo tequila
    Until the day, she started to say
    that Oppikoppie was the best way to

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  2. Lizzy says:

    surely its sexy crooked teeth not sex crooked teeth? grumpy now as i bought my ticket this morning. could write a limerick about how grumpy i am but it makes no difference.

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  3. Anonymous says:

    the “here” appears to be unclickable

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  4. Anna says:

    By die koppie vergader ons jaar op jaar,
    Uit die eindhoeke van die land sluip almal bymekaar
    Want gesaamentlik het ons ‘n doel
    Om die wereld daar buite te vergeet en soos een die musiekale talent van SA te voel.

    Met die bosveld son op my gesig en dorings in my skoene
    Warm bier in my hand en vriende an elke kant
    Vier ek my ewige jong gees
    Hier op die koppie kan ons net wees

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  5. WS says:

    A crooked dispute challenges my thoughts
    all these ought not or oughts.
    Looking back on what I earned,
    there’s not more than what I’ve learned.

    Yet, a sexy dispute haunts my desire,
    all the music I love and admire.
    Looking forward to what I’ve seen,
    this is the place I’ll surely be.

    Still this despute drives me crazy,
    cause not being that of being lazy.
    Looking straight at what I meant, I see my sexy crooked teeth, clinching in my two-man tent!

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  6. Tom says:

    Op ‘n bergie hoop sit ek vroom
    besin oor Parow en die reuk van kroniese boom
    Ek soek na sente vir sigarette en note vir drank
    Mar al wat ek ruik is my kouse se stank.

    Moermal sit ek en kontempleer
    of ek ooit my les sal leer.
    Ag nee fok dit.
    Ek sal na my jaarlikse Oppikoppie weer probeer.

    Sexy Crooked Teeth hier kom ek!

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  7. Nardus says:

    Hier is Oppikoppi!!
    Alles wat jy nodig het omi naweek ni te floppi.
    Wel suip,rook en partytjie val in my segment.
    Met Billy met sy talent,come on bra
    ek suk dalk nog n drink mt die legend.
    So gee my asb kaartjies na die beste festival ooit
    Dan wys ek jo hu stoppi party nooit.

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  8. soutpiel says:

    For free tickets I’ll conjour some tricks
    To that musical fest in the sticks
    To win will be simple
    Like squeezing a pimple
    ‘cos these Dutchmen can’t write Limericks

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  9. mouldmember says:

    Sexy Crooked I’ll be there before long
    Oh ye fest of debaucherous song
    But steamy and skew
    Applies not just to you
    It also refers to my schlong

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  10. Andy says:

    Soutpiel and Mouldmember are our competition leaders…. at least they can write limericks.

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  11. kinky aggro says:

    For fine music in bushes and grass
    I beg you please grant me a pass
    Will you be there too?
    Please say that you do
    I want to kick Roger’s fat arse

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  12. Andy says:

    ooh Kinky we have a new log leader

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  13. oppibokkie says:

    Oh mahala please give me just this
    An escape for some musical bliss
    For BLK JKS and Jack Parow,
    Pestroy and The Narrow,
    But Prime Circle I shall give a miss

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  14. hoerbul says:

    ‘n limiriek kan ‘n boerseun ook gooi
    Sy vaart met Die Taal is mos mooi
    Maar sy tjoons is so kaklik
    Die bewys is so maklik
    Dat ons die Engelse bands moet ontplooi

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  15. meathead says:

    Oppikoppi is not for the geeky
    The mahala boys play hide & seeky
    But the bands after dark
    Do not include Lark
    So Inge & Max cannot get freaky

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  16. Andy says:

    go meathead!

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  17. Tk says:

    sex and drugs and oppikoppi
    the life for those under forty
    some over too
    we dont care who
    as long as they can keep it naughty

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  18. Moose says:

    please post the emailed ones too!

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  19. uno says:

    we are again at oppikoppie
    the alcohol makes us feel quite doughty
    look there in the bush
    he’s biting her tush
    koppie always tends to get quite naughty

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  20. debbie havarti says:

    Have our bands tried their limerick luck?
    To enchant with their lyrical pluck
    Then Oppikoppi they’ll play
    And we get to say:
    “This explains why their songs are so kak”

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  21. politburo says:

    for honkies it’s filled with delights
    with music for three days and nights
    but many should ask
    if it’s up to the task
    cos the lineup is almost all whites

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  22. race this says:

    They said Oppikoppi was balmy
    But my first time served to alarm me
    The music came second
    To what I then reckoned
    More white trash than I saw in the army

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  23. singed says:

    rumours of a coke cartel
    compelled tuin dwergies to rebel
    just strings and skins and rambling bones
    as taxi violence also rose
    grave danger at the kreef hotel

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  24. Wynand says:

    From today oppikoppi is the place to be,
    working late poses a problem see,
    Everyone is getting boozd up but me,
    Low on cash so I need a ticket free!

    Give em to me and I will party like a rockstar,
    Drink more than I will at any bar,
    Maybe do something illegal
    with a gal thats hopefully legal;-)

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  25. Jimbo says:

    There once was a guy named Jimbo,
    Who was promised tickets but they didnt show,
    Jimbos lip is on the floor,
    and his unreliable friend is sore,
    All because to OppiKoppie he wants to go!!!!!!


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  26. singed says:

    so what happened to the free tickets?

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