The Zuma Sex Tapeby Andy Davis / 04.02.2010
Finally the Zuma Sex Tape has emerged! Call it kismet, fate or chance, but when art imitates life so succinctly, we at Mahala just take off our hats and bless the internet for making our jobs that much easier. Following this week’s schlock tabloid discovery of Zuma’s 20th child, squired out of wedlock with the daughter of Mzanzi’s football heavyweight Irvin Khoza – in the same year that we’re hosting the World Cup, awesome – we stumbled (thanks to Louise Gamble and Facebook) upon an auspicious piece of Hentai pornography. Oh what glorious unintentional satire that, in this telling, Zuma is a white woman. Scandalous and counter-revolutionary, Julius Malema might say. It’s a sci-fi rags to riches gladiator tale in which our futuristic Zuma was abducted as a baby from Earth and schlepped halfway across the galaxy as a slave. At 25 her owners force her into the arena as a Sexual Gladiator, where according to the review on Wired Magazine, she finds her true calling and becomes the inter-galactic bonking champion. The Reverend Kenneth Meshoe would be quick to point out certain similarities, if he was into this kind of thing. Sex Gladiators basically fuck it out, and the first one to climax loses! Hey it’s an animated porn flick, what did you expect in terms of plot? But this is no B-grade animated porno, it won an AVN award when it was released in 2006, which is kind of like the Academy Awards of porn.
Interestingly enough the movie was created by an amateur husband and wife team, Sagemonn and Karynna, who funded the whole thing on their own and produced it in their spare time. Insane what people get up to behind closed doors. You can check out their SNL, no under 18s website here.
* If you want to watch some seriously adult, pornographic SNL clips from the movie, you can below, but be warned, I thought long and hard, (sex pun yes, ha ha), about imbedding, (pun again, yes) the clip on Mahala – because on that site it’s surrounded by some really grim, tasteless and rather disgusting porno ads. But then again, the video itself is pretty graphic, grim and rather tasteless, so better to just leave it off site in the world of smut, connected with a link. Do not click if you’re under 18, deeply religious, offended easily by sex, nudity, giant alien cocks and graphic displays of fornication and other depictions of a carnal nature.
If you’re basically just, like, get the hell out of my way, click here.