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Transmission from Coachella

by Mick Raubenheimer, visual interrogation Bizarro Jerri / 15.05.2010

Warning: Side effects. Coachella festival-goers after being exposed to the word 'naai' 37 and a half times.

from: hayden.crisp@yahoo.com
to: imagin@technocrati.net
date: Mon, Apr 19, 2010, at 11:04AM

subject: Re: re: Coachella MindWarrp
Yo T.
OK. S ths went dwn. Fuckit I’ll type norm(?)al. So it’s Friday 2ish and all is tight, I mean alls good & fucking SHINY as the barbs kick in with the lazy mid-afternoon. Mojave stage (Phish – surprise performance, acoustic – schweeet), Suz just gave me the old three-four in the Twoman (told y I should sustain the sulk – drops ’em EVERY time) and get a berry from Shaun2 that the dough has hit so the weekend’s already melting into
steady riot with the sex&drugs already panting and the music getting up tall like two towers bouts to boom drop three four. Anyway lets fly so the evening came thick and heavy, hustle Shaun2 get the drips-pop-crackles slot’em in Suz txts that Jen’s game so it’s munching the fuckin SKY and both those bitches cum like Rainbows wet after RJD2’s talented comedown from Omar’s guitar exorcism experiments (post-heroin-prog-metal-feedback makes the ladies squirm like OYSTERS –
tellin y gangsta raps dayz r gooone. So next hook up with Tim’nCrew and we pull the night down:

Post-9 a FFWDblur: pummelled with EPIC Dillinger set which completely fucked all before and to come (Crooked Vultures post-obese as result) and blah-blah swear I caught some Specials between. Quick 7am power-dawn-nap and. Okay we can chill here for a bit. Jen very givingly has moved in so the Two Man tent now officially a sleaze sandwich, and so far no glints of inevitable jealousy from Suz.

So: Epic, fucking EPIC CoAch so far and tonight Faith No More’s cracking in to tear Muse a shiny new emo-prog-hole but I bare remember Patton’s gifted shrieks my mind consumed by what happened after: the psycho-trip-rat beats still fucking round in my head like, like fucking psychotic bullets and every time a strobe flashes that blond B-grade pixie swangs her hips and flashes those NAaiii eyes (will explain – a whole new vocab born here Mehico side thanks to these inbred Africaans/freakshow/killers. Anyway so THIS is why Zooey’s bleeding nightmares. She was peaking when we all stumbled past Claypool’s dated slaps and walked right into a fucking freak attack this fuckin’ three foot blonde chick hollering abuse at the hypno-fuckin-Tized crowd while some broke-back white starving fucker with eyez from hell drops rhymes like Ghostface hacking EMINEM with an ax but everything spouting from their lips is upside-down like some Dutch football commentator on speed laced with an AK. So we stop, listen, cringe, bop. Their beats!!??! Like early 90’s techno fed thru Run-DMC or some shit.

And we ask around but no-one knows their name and aren’t listening to us and when this slump next to me finally drawls the name – pointing to the banner its even more trippy like some terrible, all-important curse or damnation fed wrong through the digital grapevine and the wrong guy gets wacked – ‘DIE Ant Word’?? or some fucked up kiddie Hip-Hop educational ‘And this is what we call what you’ve just stepped on.’ or some shit. Anyway – screeched our minds but we do don’t know no CLUE what the fuck we were hearing – but check They def did every throbbing vein on that mad fuck’s face danced with emphasis and judging by the girl’s scrunched nose and hand-expressions she was mostly cussing us out. Africaans – the language the Aparthide whites speak in Southern Africa, or spoke or whatever. So Sunday trums up and we’re not even fucking me and Suz and Jill’s scampered off everyone on their Berries tryna get
some clue as to what happened Suz: “How do you spell that shit again?”, me: “Fuckd if I.. something dying ant.. just google “My Samurai” or “naii joe” to get an anti-dote for poor Zooey trembling away in someone’s dying arms somewhere.
So yeah thats mostly verbatim from my mind-vent Sunday afternoon, before Jay-Z brought back some safety and recognizability, I was just too grateful to care, just anything safe to sing and sway to. So it’s a band, they’re called Die Antwoord, am downloading their debut (SOS) right now its free I’ll send you the link – Youtube’s crawling with their even more confusing fuck-art and fuck-you-this-the-Shit videos. Very Cunningham. Very kwaai. Fokken kiff.

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