About Advertise
Culture
Porn Again

Porn Again

by Montle Giovanni Moorosi / 25.03.2010

Christians, Catholics, conservatives and women’s rights groups have won again. Their constant whining has resulted in DSTV not launching a 24 hour porn channel, and for what good reason? Apparently they’re all too holy for a good old fashioned wank.

Ever since my parents got DSTV, towards the end of the nineties, about the same time I first moved to the Northern Suburbs of Johannesburg, I have always wondered why there wasn’t an exclusive channel dedicated to porn. When I went to America in 1998 I got a glimpse of what they call cable television, something like MNET on steroids. Whilst my parents and my sister were asleep awaiting another day of Puerto Ricans and Disneyland I stayed up masturbating to an endless flurry of adult movies and even adult orientated talk shows where the host would randomly get fellated by a girl who popped out of nowhere in front of his guests. After one week at the Days Inn Motel in Orlando Florida I had a severe case of carpel tunnel syndrome and an obsession with gaping holes.

Meanwhile back at the ranch in South Africa all my peers were still watching Emmanuel after 20 years, not knowing the giddy heights of “auteurism” the porn industry had elevated itself to. Never in my life had I even thought of a “DVDA” which means double vagina, double anal and in laymen terms that means four healthy penises inside one chick at the same time.

So the Christians say that a porn channel would not be a good influence on our children, but these kids already have access to the crime channel so that when the day arrives when they want to murder their spouse for insurance money they’ll know the drill and have a fairly decent chance of getting away with it. But haven’t the pastors and the cultural censors ever heard of the parental lock feature on DSTV decoders?

Two days I go I switched on the television and the channel had been left on TBN, which is a Christian channel which is only viewed by my mother and people like David Koresh. And what was playing was an advert calling on “Good Christians” to fight for the sanctity of marriage, which in other terms means, “don’t let the fags get married”. So you can actively rubbish the rights of gays and lesbians on TV, but you can’t watch two consenting adults getting down and bumping their holy bits.

And you know what? Many women love to watch porn. We have no idea how many because most people consider women to be mythological creatures who don’t shit or fart or play Daytona Racing on PS2 and rub the vibrating analog joystick on their vaginas when they crash. In the past recent months I have conducted a little study whereby I sit outside an adult store and try figure out the ratio of men to women who enter the store. And women have taken the cup for their loyal, if covert, patronage. Try this experiment, play a porn DVD to a group of girls with a few guys in their presence, this will make them shriek immediately, run out of the room and proceed to call you a pig on Facebook and Twitter, but do make sure to watch out for that one girl pretending to be disgusted but can’t remove her eyes from the screen. Step 2, play an adult DVD to your special friend during a “private moment” I guarantee you that she will try her best to emulate every move she see’s Traci Lords doing in Sodomania 6.

So please, this is to all the lobbyists and pseudo social groups who claim that hiding porn from us is in society’s best interests, fuck you! I pay Multichoice top dollar and for that I expect a wide range of top dollar programs and what they currently have to offer late at night on the Action channel and E-TV is not worth the rand that greases my palm and lubricates my wank.

62   20
RESPONSES (62)
  1. liz says:

    ja. i don’t mind porn. i’d watch more of it if it was on TV, too. way too much effort to schlep to a sex shop and the DVD stores in suburbia seem oddly sanitised. so poo to no porn on DSTV.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  2. Classy says:

    Fucken Hilarious article! I notice the softcore shit has vanished from ETV too! WTF??? Give the people porn!

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  3. Paul says:

    Good point, I am with you.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  4. chris says:

    i dunno. i think there’s tasteless porn and there’s tasty porn.
    its not about how much happens or how many bits get rubbed up or down, its more about the style and generally, america is tasteless..so i think hire your own porn, get euro porn or french porn or whatever.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  5. chris says:

    and montle..that trip might have been a learning curve for you, but guy, if you’re going to get off on porn dont do it alone so much. its not good for you.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  6. Jenna says:

    Hiring porn? what is this 1992?

    you ever heard about the internet?

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  7. Jess says:

    i just have a problem with ETV showing family ads about household cleaners, the danger of germs etc during a FAMILY rated movie, and half way through these ads are replaced by CHEAP ASS phone line porn adds. I mean, WTF?

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  8. Anonymous says:

    you have a peanut for a brain. And your a sicko – but someone like you would probably take that as a compliment. I suppose you agree with child prostitution as well. Maybe you should educated yourself with what your porn industry actually attributes to. Shame I feel sorry for your mother.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  9. funkmonk says:

    what a gip, typical double standards of fundamentalist meatheads. the same ones that are getting their torches all lit are the ones buggering their children / siblings / chickens and taking the money out of desperate old grannies hands. why cant these freaktards just leave the rest of us alone. dunno, go and live in orania or sumthing. typical religious hysteria.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  10. troglodyte says:

    stfu anonymous. if youre so closed minded why dontcha unsubscribe to the newsletter? crawl back to ur pastor and pay him to speak to his boss to forgive you for having naughty thoughts

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  11. troglodyte says:

    fecking hypocrites, the lotta ’em

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  12. Moose says:

    @anonymous. Do enlighten us about what the activity of consenting adults In the bedroom has to do with you, me or anyone else? From porn to child prostitution? You sir are an hysterical, ignorant prude.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  13. Sarah Dee says:

    “In the past recent months I have conducted a little study whereby I sit outside an adult store…”

    Do you take donuts and a newspaper? Or do you just kinda loiter at the door?

    Kinda reminds me of a story i was told by a porno shop manager about a dude who broke into Adult World just to “rape” their R9000, top shelf lady-doll in front of their security cameras and promptly left.

    He was bummed they couldn’t still sell it.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  14. funkmonk says:

    haha the image does bring some questions to mind. dodgy guy (sorry montle 8P) standing there ticking off a piece of paper everytime a customer gos in or out. ha.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  15. hairy palms says:

    @anonymous: hey genius, what does the porn industry “attribute” to? are there issues with the industry? hell yes! couldn’t quote the research title or author, but there is some compelling stuff out there (indicating that expressions pain for example is purposefully left in, not edited out.) a reasonable person must concede that, after notching up viewing hours in the double figures. it must be said that this does not equal approval of human trafficking. the astute person may require less.

    there are products that by their nature do not provide the same scope for abuse. but i’m sure you wouldn’t venture near such ungodly places.

    like with so many other things prohibition simply does not work. and consumption is not mandatory. DVDA’s for everyone who thinks they have the right to choose on my behalf.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  16. Matt says:

    @ Moose et al

    You’ve lost any sense of morals mate; much like this writer. No porn should be on any free channels though pay channels are another story. You fools haven’t stopped for a moment to consider what sexual imagery and porn does to kids too young to understand the context of it, and that – like every habit – it soon grows on you and distorts your sense of its place. Ya, that’s right – marriage. Though I suppose this makes no sense when God is conveniently removed from the picture…

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  17. rettambuli says:

    Morals Matt make me maudlin – maybe Matt might marry me?

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  18. Kate's Mom says:

    This is not about denying Montle the right to get his sad, inadequate rocks off watching GBH-by-DVDA (you SERIOUSLY believe those girls walk away unharmed?) but limiting the places where my children, for one, have access to it.

    I think we have enough examples of sliding moral values (from our leaders to our sporting heroes) in this country – Montle, could you, for just a minute, stop whining about your right to wank to filth on the television and tell us that you really believe this is what South Africa needs right now?

    And for the record, my LOVE-HATE-HATE-HATE-LOVE relationship with pornography has been tugging at me since I found my father’s stash at 11 years old – I am an addict, I will always be an addict, pornography is addictive, tame stuff gets boring, you know it’s true – it can only end in tears…

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  19. Andy says:

    Man… I’m so happy we’re finally having a proper debate on a Mahala story this week. I was worried we wouldn’t get one!

    The DSTV porn channel was going to be pay-per-view if I’m not mistaken. And really I don’t think that’s a problem. Big ups to hairy palms:

    “DVDA’s for everyone who thinks they have the right to choose on my behalf.”

    The ETV porn was late late night, so I don’t think that posed a serious threat to “our children”. And besides the biggest threat from ETV’s late night soft porn was not so much explicit material, rather, to paraphrase Brandon Edmonds, it was the psychological scarring our kids would suffer from watching Americans faking having sex.

    And far more interesting, did anyone see Ross Kemp on Gangs on Discovery when he went to Pollsmoor Prison and the warder told him that on weekends the whole prison locks down and they allow the inmates to watch Sexy Time on ETV – and you can imagine what happens after?!
    “It’s like a pressure release valve,” the warder said. The whole correctional service system basically turns a blind eye to male prison rape every weekend… But does the free soft porn on ETV act as a catalyst, or a convenient stimulation session for acts that were already going to happen regardless?!

    Reckon there’s a story there for sure!

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  20. Whatever says:

    Guys it’s gonna be like the apartheid years stars on the nipples

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  21. Moose says:

    @matt. perhaps a nice theocracy for you then? Enjoy.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  22. Carlotta says:

    So the porn debate rages on… and the moral issue has no value. Don’t steal, who the fuck cares about morals anyway – useless to society and damn if it stunts anyone’s sense of entitlement, cause morals don’t do anything do they except make things wrong? And having morals means you’re a whiner? So taking this off the moral debate and addressing the question to you – would you since you like wanking as much, put yourself up in front of the screen for all to see? If you love it that much why not get paid for it? Surely that is the purpose – getting some cash, exciting other people and getting their rocks off and yours at the same time? Let’s get more wanking out there because lets face it, what better stress release is there? What better way to spend your time? Aah spill the baby batter far and wide, limitless, stretch the boundaries, keep it going, set up the worlds first wanking marathon for novel ways to excite. Maybe there’s a time and place for everything. To equate wanking as much as you want to with liberation, or watching porn more easily, as a world gone sensible, is the same as saying lets put drugs out there, make it legal and things will settle – aka Amsterdam – though most people don’t know the real story behind that anyway. What is the argument if the moral context is taken out – to you? What is the real reason? What is the point other than a work out for your dick? Are you free because you can watch porn on tv – or is it simply another way to enslave you – locking your attention into something, escaping from something? enough. may you be surrounded by porn to your hearts delight, may you spend as much money as you can – top dollar – on making them rich and may you be forever liberated!

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  23. funkmonk says:

    errrr. thank you?

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  24. Matt says:

    @ Moose

    Yes, that may work quite nicely come to think of it…

    I’d need a Minister of Morals however. Perhaps you’d be keen? We’d need to override all laws that aren’t subjective enough. So bring in porn – make it underage porn (hell, why should kids be left out here?) – and why not beastiality, underage prostitution, and more. Next, we’d get rid of the church, right? (We don’t want to feel guilty about anything we do, or have someone actually tell us we may be liable for your carnal acts). Then we’ll ban any use of the word ‘God’, or dare I say it – ‘Jesus’. Unless it’s used in a blasphemous sense.

    Hold on, that’s no theocracy…
    Though it does seem to have the same code as Moose and his merry band of dissenters.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  25. Kontlap says:

    I am PORN

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  26. Kontlap says:

    I am the PORN industry

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  27. Whatever says:

    @ Matt

    Tell me what are morals? Please ‘coz my defintion is quite lucrative, just like the contradictory Bible. You must be a homphobe as well then? Morals leave you nowhere because they are different to everybody. The environment shapes you as it will and that leaves each as an individual.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  28. cunt rag says:

    Ek is die PORNOnywerheid

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  29. funkmonk says:

    dammit.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  30. growing old disgracefully says:

    Hey Matt, why not first direct your bitter sarcasm at the Catholic Church – given the child abuse scandals against it that are now surfacing across the globe? At least the porn industry gets consent forms from its participants and doesn’t peddle its wares to underage citizens.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  31. John says:

    The time is ripe for a 24-hour Catholic porn channel to keep all the moral crusaders from sticking their penises inside small children.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  32. Anonymous says:

    troglodyte – what are you – like 10.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  33. Anonymous says:

    Do enlighten us about what the activity of consenting adults In the bedroom has to do with you, me or anyone else? From porn to child prostitution?

    Well Are we talking adults or children?

    moose – by all means, do what you like. As long as it’s not using a child or a woman against her will or exposing it to “you, me or anyone else” – then go wild. indulge yourself.

    why don’t you go and watch human trafficking. That movie is pretty accurate about whats is happening. And if that doesn’t effect the way you think or even slightly make you mad. then maybe you should join the industry.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  34. Anonymous says:

    “DVDA’s for everyone who thinks they have the right to choose on my behalf.” – it’s called democracy stupid. and unfortunately you lost.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  35. Ivan says:

    A few years ago I went back to visit some family in Yugoslavia (nowadays Serbia, Croatia, Bosnia etc). I was born there and my family emigrated to SA in 1992 when shit really hit the fan with the civil war.

    In 2000, the time of our visit, the Serbs were waging a war in Kosovo with the Albanians. Like the rest of continental Europe, pornography is freely viewable after 12 on TV. However, the Serbian government for some reason thought it would be a good idea to cancel pornographic films on TV just before my family and I got there.

    While we were there, looking at rubble from the then recent NATO air raids, my uncle told me a funny story of how the Serbian soldiers went on a strike for WEEKS and refused to do any fighting until the government run TV stations put the late night porn back on. The soldiers decided to just drink themselves stupid and act like louts. The story goes that a bunch of drunk soldiers were randomly shooting mortar shells from a top of a building in Belgrade and managed to hit a Stealth bomber by pure fucking luck. Of course, the Serbian government thought this was an excellent morale booster and swiftly did the necessary PR. As a reward, the soldiers got their porn back and NATO didn’t get any more planes shot down as a result.

    Point of the story? Give people porn and chances are stupid shit will stop happening.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  36. Chris says:

    OK! I’m going to come at this argument from a moralistic-liberal perspective – not because arguing morally is the right way academically or politically but because that’s what seems to be the trend. Prohibition of porn, much like alcohol, is an enabler of crime.

    Banning alcohol, as we all know, did not turn out great for the Americans in the early 1900’s. The reason for this was because of the huge demand for alcohol by the public and it’s illegal status with the government meant that organised crime was rife throughout the period known as The Great Depression. They could accumulate a huge amount of influence and wealth within society even high standing officials who just wanted to have a glass of wine with their supper. This took away power from the democratically elected government officials and put it into the hands of dangerous men like John Dillinger and Al Capone who both commanded huge public support as well as having fingers in many a political pie.

    Essentially alcohol was a gateway drug. Not in the sense of addiction as is popularized but in the sense of it opening a gateway to crime. The prohibition lead to other illicit substances emerging and causing serious cases of addiction and abuse in the people that sought after alcohol and other substances. This same logic can be applied to modern day legislation regarding; marijuana, pornography, and prostitution. Prohibition of marijuana has similar repercussions as did the prohibition of alcohol. However, prohibition of pornography and prostitution is far more closely related to human trafficking including child pornography and prostitution. If there is reasonable legislation placed on both these things the production and practice of them can be far more easily monitored and contained reducing the potential for victimization.

    Morally speaking is it more correct to let those who want to be porn stars and prostitutes be prostitutes legally or is it better to illegally force and coerce the unwilling into doing the same thing? The fact that the channel was pay-per-view and there is the facility of parental control as well as it being illegal to let your kids watch it means that the exposure to children should be virtually non-existent unless parents go out of their way to show their kids in which case the likelihood of them being exposed to porn is pretty high anyway.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  37. Anonymous says:

    Guyz this is evil spirit that the devil is using to get us to be busy with and forget about the purpose of our living God, so Im 100% against porn channel and I am praying to God to help us in trap!!

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  38. White-Chick-Drooler says:

    Eish! let me be a opertunist here…I`m looking for girl email me: raymondm817@gmail.com

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  39. john says:

    i agree with raymond ,come on girls who like porn contact me marriedbuthot@gmail.com.u never know

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  40. john says:

    no

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  41. Andy says:

    Mmm…i dont understand why e-tv doesnt have soft porn anymore. Firstly-it comes on late @ night-if your childs waking up that time-what does that have to do with the rest of us??? Secondly-people stop pretending to be so innocent.who wants to go out to a porn shop/dvd store to hire porn when you can watch it in the comfort of your own home?i say etv bring the porn back!

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  42. AYO says:

    I believe that porn is cool n shit. and if u wanna watch it. watch it. my problem. everyones just paaartying poppin bottles wearing Uk Usa shit with a who cares attitude in a country where kids cant eat and get an education. where rape and child abuse is huge and this shit has effects on those less fornunate NIGGA…….Get Responsible

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  43. sumone says:

    Want porn back on ETV

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  44. homo sapien says:

    Fucking hypocrite the lot of them. If people want to fuck, let them fuck, and if people want to watch other people fuck, let them watch. I mean no one is forcing you to watch porn, its your choice, priests and pastors wanna stand up and say its causing kids to get raped and all kinda bad things, they’re talking shit, what do you think that pastor gets off on when his alone at home with a 10Mbps internet connection. Not to long ago I heard of a priest that engaged in sexual acts with a choir girl. All I can say is they’re all FUCKING HYPOCRITES!!! I don’t encourage rape or underaged sex but if your child is guilty of sexually assaulting some someone elses child then you should look at yourself as a parent and how you raised your child, don’t blame porn, its your fucking fault, you dumbass, you can’t raise a kid for shit!

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  45. Kofi says:

    I just want to wank to these hot bitches

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  46. opinionee says:

    i agree wit u writer,i was also lukng 4ward 2 dat Dstv 24porn channel,bt hey.christians r 2 perfect thy wil b in a VIP in heaven.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  47. sipho says:

    I think porn movies on etv .must come back end play . Ey bcz on satday night TV is boring I used 2 watch emmanual on satday night

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  48. WSEPHIWE says:

    What went wrong

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  49. Me says:

    This is bullshit,i mean if u against porn than dont watch it,it must be brought back on ETV,go to sleep if u hate it suckers

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  50. SO We want emmanual back plz we lv porn says:

    http://Www.pornography.com

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  51. Martin says:

    Great article. But the problem is we don’t need a porn channel when its all on ETV. Friday nights. How can you miss it. Playmates. This is such nonsense. The nudity just never ends. Who can we speak to? We need to get this off of etv now.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  52. Martin says:

    Oeps. I meant saturday nights…

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  53. Hardlife says:

    I would like to perform/join the club if u are looking for people like me.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  54. Nxa i think adult movies such as emmanuel should be put on screens again! says:

    Ithink movies such as emmanuel should be put on the screen’s back again we enjoy it.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  55. jonathan k says:

    we want porn motherfuckers if you dont like u can suck my huge black dick, i mean seriously every man,boy and teen needs a little porn know and then

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  56. Anonymous says:

    I say let the porn channel come watching porn on the internet is costing me airtime .

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  57. terrence says:

    I think e Tv must bring back the porn movies becouse the time they play kids are sleepin bring the porns back come on you killing us

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  58. Anonymous says:

    We want porn back, actually we don’t just want it we need it fuck kids who watches porn at night their parents should make sure that they are sleeping at that time because it is our turn to enjoy TV

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  59. Anonymous says:

    Yes stop all porn moves on e tv

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  60. Motherfucker says:

    It’s would be cool if they bring porn back on e.tv, but we have to think about the damage it will cause
    some parents are attending a funeral of a coliugeu in Limpopo so they leave their 15 year old daughter with her sweet respectful 23yr old uncle, what do you think will happen after the uncle was watching porn, you know how you motherfuckers get when you are honny(the mind get completely blocked then you think with your 8 inch sticks)

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  61. Anonymous says:

    If within the next two months or so…dstv is not launching the porn channel I am taking my subscription to where there is one…

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  62. Anonymous says:

    If it’s a family funeral uncle must go too

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

LEAVE A REPLY

Loading...