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Pool Together

Pool Together

by JR Onyangunga, images by Justin McGee / 07.12.2009

It was a touch of summer, abrasively opening up the gloomy weather with sunshine and a little touch of freshness from the Freshest Kid in Joburg aka Leslie Mampe aka Da LES. You might recognise this playa from the group Jozi. All we know is that he was throwing a pool party and we scored the VIP tickets for Mahala.

Floater

Floater

Now we’ve been noticing some big events around town lately, such as the critically acclaimed Pop Bottles and Caramel Sundaes. As I entered this joint I tried to put it all in perspective. It’s just another pool party with home made snacks and a malicious punch which everyone pretends is a cocktails and drinks it out of polystyrene cups.

Dr Pachanga dives in

Dr Pachanga dives in

This one was a strictly a compadre party (invites only), and a pre-event for something called, “Girls Gone Wild” also hosted by Da LES and DC Shoe Co. Isn’t that an American springbreak style soft porn company?

Girl, going wild

Girl, going wild

What a surprise when I walked by the entrance, and bumped this awesome lady who just wouldn’t stop smiling as if she was celebrating her birthday through out the whole month. It felt like I had stumbled into a dream. Some kind of mirage seeing all these beautiful girls cavorting around the pool.

Lady puts a stop to her ass eating her bikini, mid-dance move. Respect

Lady puts a stop to her ass eating her bikini, mid-dance move. Respect

And there were just a couple of gents, most of whom looked like they’d been hitting the ‘roids for a while before they hit the party. I was a little confused, was the sequel to 300 AD being shot in SA? Justin on my left whispered, “holy Jesus” on site of these beasts with astonishing ball slipping voices. I really think they were hired just to buff up the party a little, and I guess they could double as security.

You stay classy, Joburg

You stay classy, Joburg

Well the Spartans didn’t really cramp my groove. They actually were well mannered white boys with family problems amongst other offenses. Besides that, there was the mobile bar set up by Liquid Chefs, presenting possibly everything that can satisfy your thirst. Straights, cocktails, shooters with the shiza yama those nduna’s were cultivating.

Suck it boet. Suck my glock!

Suck it boet. Suck my glock!

One thing I just didn’t understand was the overwhelming sight of vanilla everywhere. Not to sure if Da LES has changed the flavour from chocolate to vanilla or was it just the chocolates were scared to get their weaves wet at the pool party.

Dr Pachanga owns the Tuscan Villa

Dr Pachanga owns the Tuscan Villa

Two men that stole the show was Da LES’s cousin, wearing Olympic swimming lycra pants, and this Dj Sergio who looks like Danny K in the Iron Man competition. Got to say they defiantly made those girls go wild.

Dance moves that may cause drowning

Dance moves that may cause drowning

At the end it was a fine afternoon. Hard to distinguish much from the wild boorish drinking that went down. Patrone being shot through a water gun aimed at bosoms and mouths, as if Ron Jeremy was closing down this chapter of the Girls Gone Wild Party.

Patrone of the Arts

Patrone of the Arts

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RESPONSES (32)
  1. zee1986 says:

    so invites were given to all subscribers of Seventeen? no?

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  2. Mello Moropa says:

    Not a single black chick in the pool (except for Dr Pachanga) . . I’m surprised

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  3. Megan Eloff says:

    Was one CRAZY ASS Party 🙂

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  4. DR Pachangs says:

    Hey first of all i just would like to share my insight of no chocolate,cos if they all jump in the pool the motor of the pool pump will fuck out from their weaves and give some vanilla a chance to spend that new money u sisters have had it for some time now. hey no grudge got a hundred sisters and i love them all

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  5. Andy says:

    Zee have you ever read Seventeen magazine? Just look at picture number 6 and tell me that dry humping is allowed on the hallowed and virginal pages of Seventeen. Sheeeee-it!

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  6. Doctor L. says:

    Damn. Guess Montle really quit music journalism.

    He was dope.

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  7. Andy says:

    He’ll be back… but not covering this sort of thing. That’s Pachanga’s game now

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  8. jemima says:

    what will the voortrekkers think…?

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  9. Jessica says:

    What a party! As a white chick I was a bit worried at first but I’m starting to like some of these black boys! So funny. And to the insecure white dude who asked about my `morals’: dude, its 2009 and white men dont own white women so piss off and get a life.

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  10. Eugene Nicks says:

    Blood is thicker than water…? Actually…carry on…it is pobably better to seperate the wheat from the chaff…We are all certainly free to do as we please and if dilutions are your thing. Enjoy. But it would be wise to ask yourself…
    Have you actually researched the full consequences of your ebony and ivory actions…Have you any idea..?

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  11. Andy says:

    Jesus Eugene! Disappear you freaky racist throwback…

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  12. Eugene Nicks says:

    Two words Andy Pants. Free Speech. There is nothing wrong in a person having a bit of racial pride. Having pride in ones people does not make you a racist – no matter what the masses might chant.
    My comment was based on my scientific beliefs and I in no way proclaim the inferiority/superiority of any one race. The fact that I believe in the importance of the purity of a gene pool does not make me a racist you chop.
    Like individuals, every race can offer something unique to our world and I do feel that all races/cultures should respect one another and should indeed have the freedom to choose with whom they wish to fraternise or not.
    If people want to pool together, that is there prerogative, but I’m not sure of how many actually think about the EVENTUAL destruction of a people (ala Spartan) and the loss of information contained in their blood lines. This goes for ALL races.
    But. Hey. Go ahead. Keep on blindly following your free love philosophy…the greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist…

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  13. Mr Black says:

    Damn, Eugene, not only are you some Nazi psycho you’re also a fraud! That line that you seem to be passing off as your own – the greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist – is actually from “The Usual Suspects” you numb nut. Get a life, please!

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  14. snapper says:

    wow eugene. I think we can all be glad you’ll be keeping it pure and limiting yourself to your sister

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  15. Eugene Nicks says:

    Indeed. Time will tell.

    Mr Black. No shit Sherlock. I’m pretty sure most people over the age of, say, 20 (?) would know where the line is from. I should have added the quotation marks. My humblest of apologies. As for being a “Nazi psycho” – I don’t think you really grasp what I’m trying to convey. I did say people had the right to do whatever they wanted as long as they respected others and that this freedom was a two way street. I did not suggest any culling or sterilizations or the breeding of a master race. The point of my commentary was to raise an awareness and suggest that people merely bare in mind that their actions could have consequences for the future of a people.

    Snapper. As I’m sure you are well aware, the game the whole family can play, would have even worse results…not sure what else to say with repect to your rhetoric.

    I can understand your sensitivity to the subject…but isn’t a measure of free speech, the manner in which all topics can be discussed openly…? I in no way suggested the superiority of any one race or culture. I was only highlightling the possible dangers.

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  16. Nathan Zeno says:

    Some peeps party in a pool and some guy tries to tell us the consequence of said party will be the destruction of his gene pool.

    I wonders to me self what his gene pool consists of? Being white and South African, let me guess, Dutch, French, English all mixed. Now the english are a mix of Norman, Anglo Saxon and Celts. The Normans have a strong Moorish influence. As do most of the Afrikaans and English colony days settlers from back in the days of conquest. So ask yourself mister, which person on this planet does not have a touch of the tar brush about him?

    And no I’m not quoting True Romance.

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  17. Andy says:

    Oh Eugene… we’re all miscegenated bastards anyway. Your idea of racial purity is a myth. Would love to get you in the lab and test your genes. Probably find a little Khoi-San in there, some Russian Jew perhaps? Probably a bit of Arab trader too. A lot of “skeletons” knocking around in your genetic closet I’m sure. Best thing we can do is fuck until we’re all just different shades of brown.

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  18. Andy says:

    Possible dangers of what?

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  19. Eugene Nicks says:

    Nathan/Andy I do not deny or contest your valid point regarding the make up of the white(r) africans or humanity in general. I cannot agree with Nathan’s suggested solution for the reason further explored below. Yes, it may be an easy way out but the only winner is likely to be mediocrity.

    The danger would be the potentail loss of certain hereditary traits that led to the achievements of each race…some races are in more danger than others…it is a numbers game…I would recommend reading the wiki page relating to eugenics for a brief summary.

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  20. Andy says:

    give us the summary Eugene, don’t make us work so hard… and isn’t this that scientology jol?!

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  21. Sisa says:

    @ Eugene…as much as i sooo desagree with your statement, i still feel anyone screaming his a rascist is kinda blowing things out of proportion, yeh maybe his views leave a lot to be argud but ras

    @Nathan Zeno…you’re reply was tooo good for words. And no you didn’t shout out True Romance (That Cicilian rant was classic)

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  22. Andy says:

    Eugenics pray tell what are the “full consequences of our ebony and ivory actions”?

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  23. Andy says:

    A word on Eugenics from Wikipedia:

    “Today it is widely regarded as a brutal movement which inflicted massive human rights violations on millions of people. The “interventions” advocated and practised by eugenicists involved prominently the identification and classification of individuals and their families, including the poor, mentally ill, blind, promiscuous women, homosexuals and entire racial groups——such as the Roma and Jews——as “degenerate” or “unfit”; the segregation or institutionalisation of such individuals and groups, their sterilization, euthanasia, and in the extreme case of Nazi Germany, their mass extermination.”

    Nice work Eugene… what a philosophy

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  24. Andy says:

    And Sisa Eugene’s statement implies that there are negative consequences from black people and white people procreating. And that is just bull shit! It’s shaky ground indeed.

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  25. Eugene Nicks says:

    Andy Pants. There are always two sides to the coin….. .I have clearly and repeatedly disassociated my views from those of the Nazi’s, Spartans and American sterilization drives…my concern is based purely on the heritability of IQ. I am not condoning any state controlled eugenic programmes but am only highlighting factors that people do not seem to be aware of due to blind love globilisation. Look at what is happening to France…

    “Since the postwar period, both the public and the scientific communities have associated eugenics with Nazi abuses, such as enforced racial hygiene, human experimentation, and the extermination of “undesired” population groups. However, developments in genetic, genomic, and reproductive technologies at the end of the 20th century have raised many new questions and concerns about what exactly constitutes the meaning of eugenics and what its ethical and moral status is in the modern era.”

    I think I have already explained my meaning regarding the full consequences of our ebony and ivory actions with respect to the survival of a people.

    Again, I stress the fact that I have no issue with the freedoms of people. I do not have any issues with other races or cultures and I respect our differences. I am not suggesting the controlling of who people wish to associate with or not. I believe everyone should be treated equally and given the same opportunities and that the wrongs of the past need to be compensated for without the sacrifice of progress and quality.

    The concern I raise, is that most are not even aware of the far reaching consequences of there actions due to the type records currently being played on the global gramophone.

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  26. Eugene Nicks says:

    I also do not profess to be an expert of any kind and would suggest that anyone who actually cares should read all of the material available and formulate their own opinion from a base of knowledge rather being spoonfed the popular thoughts of the day.

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  27. Andy says:

    So are you saying kids with mixed race parents have low IQs?

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  28. Eugene Nicks says:

    Not at all. There are, undenialbly, individual geniuses of all races. Again I stress the fact that I at no point suggested that one race was better/worse than the other and clearly stated that, like individuals, races have their own unique qualities. I do however feel that some of these qualities could be lost if the bloodline is diluted or destroyed.
    I do admit that I do indeed believe, that in some cases, particular races may have had no need, desire, ability or opportunity to progress at the rate of other more technologically dominant peoples (who in all probability are there own distant decendants) and that the reversion towards mediocrity is a possiblity. I digress. The main point I raise is that I think we should be aware that there is a chance that certain peoples and their bloodlines, which have evolved over history, could be in danger of being bred out of existence without a fight and that cognisance should be taken of this danger.
    I can understand that most will argue that this is the “natural” evolution of things and they may be correct. I am however not on that train. I believe that we are the masters of our own destiny and without self-determination we will drown. Time will tell.

    Thank you for the manner in which you allowed this discussion to take place. I do respect the fact that all people are entilted to their own beliefs and hope that they do indeed investigate all avenues rather than take the information they are fed as fact.

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  29. Andy says:

    Listen if you raise beautiful, intelligent, independent children with integrity and strong moral values – the best that you can wish for them is that they go out into the world and fall in love and procreate with someone who they are attracted to and who challenges them and in some way mirrors their values, beliefs and intentions. Worrying about bloodlines and race just gives me the creeps because it’s such a quick step to prejudice, stereotyping and racism.

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  30. Carol Reed. says:

    Quick question. Why is being more technologically dominant such an attractive option to white people? I mean it’s not really working out for them.

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  31. montle says:

    im still the best bitches!

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  32. Anonymous says:

    that dude Nathan he is lives under Les’s spotlight

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