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Giggs Superstar - Playground Of The Black And Rich

Playground of the Black and Rich

by Lindokuhle Nkosi / 16.11.2011

This is the gilded city. The gold leaf sticks to the tips of your fingers, to the hem of your clothing like glittery black jacks. This is the city of the happy, shiny ones. The sheen, a coloured flourescent afterglow. In one of the greenest cities of the world, the wildlife gathers around clubs in various tones of animal. Leopard skin-tight dress, crocodile on the shoes, ostrich on the bag and horse on the head. They preen themselves in the bathroom mirror, fluffing their feathers when a suitable (sizeable) wallet walks by. In the sub-saharan Eldorado everybody is almost famous.

I’m on time. I’m walking up the stairs to La Lunar club in Bryanston for a Giggs Superstar video shoot. It’s wedged in between “authentic-looking” Tuscan-styled office blocks; a car wash, restaurants and the club. I’m already out of place. In the past few years, the space above Lolly Jackson’s car wash (creatively named Jackson’s) has changed names, styles and ownership about five times. Now it’s the playground of the black and rich. The Blingola spawn in fake red-bottom heels. It’s 13h30, the shoot was meant to start an hour ago, but the club is as empty as the Johannesburg streets come festive season. A guy with a curly half-fro stares transfixed into his Macbook screen. I walk over, introduce myself, and ask him who he is.
“I’m Mario. The singer.” he responds bitterly. I’m confused. Are Mario and Giggs Superstar the same person? Isn’t Giggs Superstar black? Is Mario his pre-glam alter ego?

Giggs Superstar - Opening Image

A few other people are milling about on the balcony outside, smoking; awkwardly trying to look like they do this shit all the time. They are mostly media, here to cover the shoot, except for the dude who drives the Adidas party bus. No-one here is involved in the shoot. We wait. Two girls arrive – failed models turned make-up artists, and the men who were previously catatonic are suddenly alive and rejuvenated.

Giggs Superstar - The Voice And The DJ

“So what are you doing after the shoot? I own a Thai massage parlour that’s just down road. You should come through.” I eavesdrop.
“Free massage, oh my god. What’s a happy ending? If it’s free, I’m soooo in.”
The conversation inevitably defaults to happy-ending packages, as the girls gush, blush and bum cigarettes. Finally, an organiser arrives. She briefs the make-up artists, it does not occur to her to fill us in on the details of the obviously sliding schedule. I corner her as she sets up the snack table – two packets of Pick ‘n Pay muffins, a six-pack of cokes and a few bottles of water. “Sorry, we’re running a little late. Had some model drama. The leading lady dropped us this morning and we had to find someone to replace her,” she says. This someone else also isn’t here yet.

Giggs Superstar - Adidas Swag Truck

Giggs Superstar, who is not Mario, is in the make-up chair. He is the DJ who produced the track. Quiet, unassuming – as if humbled that everyone has gone through all this effort for him. Mario, sorry Mario Ogle, (I’ve been told to address him by his name and surname, lest someone confuse him with the American R’n’B singer of the same; plus it’s all about branding baby!) is the vocalist. He’s here to mime and lip-synch, while making R’n’B glam hands, stretching his arms out and balling his fingers into a fist in 90s boy-band fashion. We wait another 30 whilst they prepare the first shot.

Giggs Superstar - Boy Band Fashion

Outside, a heated argument ensues over who makes the best sneakers. Two South Africans with affected psuedo-American accents shout over each other about Jordans, Air Force 1’s, Superstars and lifestyle brands. The sun beats down on me. The darkies have congregated in the little shade provided by the falling shadow of a Land Rover. Hot, hungry and with no real reason to be here. Apparently our editors think videos shot in night clubs are news worthy. Perhaps that’s the reason that there are more media personnel than extras and film cameras. The real star of the shoot in my opinion was the Jeremy Scott Adidas gear. The celebrities (Mika Stefano, MO and a few other self-inflated egos you’ve never heard of) were meant to start arriving at 16h00. At 16h45 I left, promising to return later. I don’t.

Giggs Superstar - Celebrity No-names

The song itself is, well, summery. Conveniently dropped just in time for the silly season. It’s an easy sing-along club and braai nursery rhyme. Even the drunkest mind should have no difficulty remembering “all I wanna hear is you say yes, yes baby. I don’t wanna hear you say no, no baby.” Nothing about the song is particularly offensive, even the vocalist’s refusal to hear a no doesn’t sound rapey at all, saved wholly by Mario’s high-pitched head voice.

Random Fact: According to Stats SA, there are 17 DJ’s in the country to every actuary and attorney.

Giggs Superstar - Behind The Magic

Giggs Superstar - Say Yes

Giggs Superstar - The Hip Hop Game

Giggs Superstar - Giggs Superstar

Giggs Superstar - Direction

Giggs Superstar - Say Yes, Baby. Don't Say No, Baby.

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RESPONSES (21)
  1. cnut says:

    And us darkies take the piss out of steve hofmeyer… this is newsworthy?

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  2. Andy says:

    cnut take a break… you always jump on and flame shit. If you’re so perpetually disappointed why do you keep coming back? The Natal Witness is waiting for you online here: http://www.witness.co.za/

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  3. cnut says:

    Andy everybody is entitled to my opinion.

    And this video in my opinion is horse-shite… although it is more original than a Roger Young review.

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  4. Thato Tsotetsi says:

    I’m just glad I didn’t have to cover this…lol! Sorry Linda.

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  5. Andy says:

    I still like the way Linda found a story in a non-event

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  6. Roger Young says:

    We have trolls like @cnut before and we’ll have them again. It’s unoriginal, it’s pathetic and gets old pretty damn fast. Still, it’s like watching a car crash. I just can’t take my eyes off the persistence, the simmering rage that must come from being trapped in an unfullfilling job, in a life that just hasn’t worked out the way you wanted it to, while all around you people are getting paid to live out their dreams. In a way I feel sorry for @cnut, not because of her desperation or sadness but mostly because one day she’ll wake up and realise her dreams were unrealised not because of missed opportunity but purely because not only didn’t she have the talent or the moxy but she lacked the intelligence to fake them.

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  7. Thishiwe says:

    @cnut

    Of course the video is horse-shit, it’s a making of video not the actual thing. But also the end video will probably be shit as well. That’s kinda the whole point of the story. Did you read the story? Can you read?

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  8. Thato Tsotetsi says:

    She has promised to teach me how to do that @Andy lol!

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  9. cnut says:

    Roger Roger… that’s almost as unoriginal a retort as one of your reviews… seriously lift your game…

    Editing Mahala, being morbidly obese, riddled with alcoholism and having a bunch of clones, half my age hanging onto my every unoriginal word is as ‘stones and glass houses’ as one can get now innit particularly when you have no idea who Pete Simphiwe is now… no anonymity here pal.

    Thishiwe (can I call you Hishy-fit)… oh I agreed with you… can you read?

    The original writers get my kudos.

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  10. Roger Young says:

    @cnut

    Telling me your name doesn’t tell me anything. Send me a full bio and then we’ll chat. Until then you’re just another number on an analytics .pdf

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  11. Straight Faced Hmm says:

    “It’s unoriginal, it’s pathetic and gets old pretty damn fast. Still, it’s like watching a car crash. I just can’t take my eyes off the persistence, the simmering rage that must come from being trapped in an unfullfilling job, in a life that just hasn’t worked out the way you wanted it to.”

    Sort of vaguely reminds one of one of the Mahala staff writers (clue – it’s not Roger Young)… just saying.

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  12. crazy fool says:

    pretentious

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  13. creepy steve says:

    you know what if i ever came across Pete Simphiwe in a bar i would piss in her drink, in agreement with andy stick to the news you want to read. personally i find this a humorous take on the banality of south african pop r’n b bullshit so take it with a pinch of salt and please feel free to “go and fist yourself”

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  14. creepy steve says:

    who says “lift your game” anyway? fucking embarrassing cnut, go home suck some tokoloshe cock, snap out of it, get over it

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  15. cnut says:

    Ah yes the banality of the stereo-typical, angry, wit-ou comment eh Steve… having to bring up the only pagan Zulu reference probably learned from seeing his ill-paid domestic’s bed-on-bricks.

    Let me let you on a wee secret there Creeps… the Tokoloshe died out generations ago for most of us Gen y’ers pal…

    But how is that fat fuck saint of white capitalism (no not Roger young) Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny not to mention the cunt of all fables Jesus working out for you Creeps?

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  16. Andy says:

    cnut are you in CT… because you got enough misdirected vitriol to fuel the mahala machine. Why don’t you pop into the Mahala office and let us buy you a drink? Just one, though. Then it’s your round

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  17. Anonymous says:

    This is the only site I have ever read where the editors/contributors habitually storm in, insults blazing, and have furious a go every time someone criticises one of their posts. It’s very sweet, but it does come across as a little bit over-sensitive; have you lot never heard of don’t feed the trolls?

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  18. Andy says:

    hey Anonymous fuck you!

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  19. Babel Fish says:

    I think it is indeed newsworthy. Articles like this are why I love Mahala. The subject is exactly the kind of shite that I would otherwise know nothing about. I have to say that the level of shiteness in this particular example is pretty sad. As is the entourage who follow this pathetic crap (the “musicians” not Mahala before anybody says it)

    P.S. It never ceases to amaze me how Mahala articles can invoke such passion (“white imperialists” for fuck sake) from what are generally observational articles on things like shit SA music.

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  20. feed the trolls says:

    (not)

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  21. L says:

    Who’s the chink? She poisonous!

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