About Advertise
Culture, Music, Reality
Ard Matthews

Pity the Fool

by Brandon Edmonds / 30.08.2011

The whole Ard Mathews anthem “outrage” is a wetsuit wee. Warm, tingling relief that will pass into the (media) ocean. Relief? Well I hate the guy. With a cleansing fire of loathing. Hot enough to forge steel, blow glass and brand cattle. Hate best imagined while listening to Wagner’s “Ride of the Valkyries”. I feel an actual physical twinge at the sight of him, just below my ashtray-heart. A near psychotic antipathy in place (trust me) way before the anthem slip-up. I’m relieved my unyielding aversion has been so richly rewarded. Only watching him undergo gender-reassignment surgery (against his will) could surpass my joy.

His too-small hats, too-tight dress shirts, too-full cheeks and swollen courtesan lips, his pubic facial hair, and immense self-satisfaction are immediate annoyances. Ard is the acme of mediocrity. Of ersatz settler culture (his band remains the “biggest-selling” local rock act). I hate his dead Joost eyes and suspect rumours of strip-clubs are true. His website is as slick as Patrick Bateman’s business card. His sincerity, shtick. I can’t get past that pre-meditated Eddie Vedder accent when he sings (justly exposed attempting Xhosa and Zulu). The faux-American vocal strain our dearly beloved Barthes called ‘the Grain of the voice’. That masculine throat-twang, like an engine starting up on a cold morning, pseudo-signifying “passion” and “commitment” – and really only permissable when Bruce Springsteen does it on “Born to Run”.

But all this is snarkily superficial and glancing without an argument. Luckily all we need is the killer combo of an egregious JustJinjer song called “What He Means” and a 1946 essay by George Orwell called “Politics & the English Language”.

Now endure the song.

Notice how ineffectual it all is. We’re meant to feel something. Some vague something. We don’t. We’re meant to follow a train of thought. We can’t. It is human rights kitsch. The meanings of the referents, the upper case notions, slide past us. They have been reduced to slogans without a campaign. The only lily being gilded here is Ard’s HUMANITY. As NP Justice Minister Jimmy Kruger once reacted to Steve Biko’s murder: “Dit laat my koud.” The lack of affect is a consequence of over-reaching for it.

Stringing together such emotive terms in a chorus (Peace-Love-Tolerance-Faith-Hope-Trust) is just, along with poor songwriting, sentimental overkill. It collapses the integrity of each into humanist soup. As Orwell put it, the debasing of English involves “a huge dump of worn-out metaphors which have lost all evocative power and are merely used because they save people the trouble of inventing phrases for themselves.”

That plea for everyday creativity in speech, for using language freely, is a vestige of enlightenment in an era of message-management, spin and rote linguistic media-orthodoxy (entrepreneurs & foreign investment = Good / strikers & welfare recipients = Bad). Orwell suggests writers ask themselves “Is this image fresh enough to have an effect?” and “Have I said anything that is avoidably ugly?”

A line like “peace, love, more tolerance” is, to me, avoidably ugly. It is ugly because it is banal. Banal because it wants the inclusive melodic warmth and universality of John Lennon’s “Imagine” (a song, along with Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah”, virtually secular scripture by now) without daring its powerful appeal to anarchic human potential (“Imagine all the people sharing all the world”). Lennon appeals to our agency, to the best in us as individuals. Imagine. Ard downplays intellect and rationality (“it doesn’t matter what book you read”) and abstracts what’s best in us (peace, love, tolerance) into symptoms of God’s will we poor fools on earth misread by behaving badly. Which is insulting if you don’t share his belief in an ancient, all-knowing sky-god. Here’s Orwell again: “As soon as certain topics are raised, the concrete melts into the abstract and no one seems able to think of turns of speech that are not hackneyed” and debased English “gives an appearance of solidity to pure wind.”

The line is also ugly because it’s dumb. Asking for “more tolerance” is meaningless without a context. Poles tolerated death-camps. We tolerate Malema. How much tolerance is enough? Enough to stay silent when we should act? Enough to look the other way? Isn’t tolerance, in the bourgeois sense of “minding my own business” as the world turns, a problem, since it ensures the absence of a concerted mass alternative to the status quo with its irrational growth mania evidently killing the planet? Having “less tolerance” in some cases (in the face of injustice etc.) is surely more valid than having more of the stuff in general. Orwell is on point: language becomes “ugly and inaccurate because our thoughts are foolish, but the slovenliness of our language makes it easier for us to have foolish thoughts.”

Then there’s “acceptance is the key to all we know” (a self-help inspired re-formulation of “more tolerance” essentially) and another emotive string (compassion-lenience-understanding-sympathy) and another (deliverance-comfort-mercy-freedom-kindness). As if saying makes it so. As is every word is, what linguist JL Austin called, in How to Do Things with Words, a “performative” – an illocutionary act that does something in the world, rather than just describe it, like pronouncing a couple married or sentencing someone to death. Again all these throbbing terms really amount to are, what Norman Mailer once called, “advertisements for myself”. They signal Ard’s big heart.

Finally, Orwell says “the worst thing one can do with words is surrender to them”. The song expects us to surrender to it’s emotive anti-war flood. But words won’t obey long. They can turn around and bite you on the ass as Matthews discovered when they eluded him.

The attempted recovery:

The reaction:

17   25
  1. Curtis says:

    Wow, you have a real hard-on for the man!! Such vitriol , a personal vendetta glares through this piece of ” journalism “.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  2. Andy says:

    It’s not really fair on Ard Matthews but he’s basically become the poster boy for where white South Africa is at 18 years after liberation. So up our own arses we don’t know the words to the national anthem – which in itself is a magnanimous and inclusive prayer for peace – unlike that die stem monstrosity…

    Desmond Tutu is right. White South Africa has failed to embrace the spirit of reconciliation.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  3. Oliver says:

    There used to be some good ‘Cape Town Stoner’ type journalism here. The tolerable sort (and not tolerable like the Poles in the camps, more like South Africans towards each other). But these days it seems like Mahala has become a sanctuary for those rebellious Cape Town folk who want to rebel but can’t because the real issues (government) is too scary. So instead of going after the real ills of out society they sit here and take stabs at Ard, Captain America and that classic old chestnut called Capitalism (something they don’t really grasp).

    You applying Orwellian thought to Just Jinger and Ard is very much like the idiot who, a few days ago, put Captain America through an art movie review and then went on to a review of reviewing itself. It’s a Marvel Comic, review it as such. That ‘Friday’ song by Rebecca Black is also intellectual rubbish but it’s a brilliant superficial pop song. Look at things for what they are, stop looking at society for not being what it was when you were 20 and appreciate the dynamic of a modern world. You lot here are the modern version of the scribes when the printing press came along. Outdated pseudo-thinkers who cling to the past.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  4. YsterHart says:

    macaroni head

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  5. hmmm says:

    Mahala has turned to shit.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  6. Long Tall Sally says:

    I love what Andy said about Ard being a symbol for white South Africa. Wish the article had analysed that rather than going on an angry rant about how much the writer hates a song that came out four years ago and has fuck-all to do with anything.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  7. rol says:

    Yoh – so ‘Ard on the poor lad! It seems to me his greatest crime is over-sincerity.

    On the superficial criticisms, I’m entirely with Brandon – his pseudo-yank-twang vocals irritate me (*at least* as much as they do in other chart-topping SA artists e.g. Prime Circle, Seether), his scrubby beard looks as if it might have a musty odour, blonde white people in general should avoid dreadlocks, and his arrest for DUI last year made him seem less than wholesome (he did apologise very quickly and admit that he’d been a dumbass). JustJinjer’s lukewarm melodies do nothing for me, even less so for the fact that they market themselves to a demographic who can’t spell ‘G-I-N-G-E-R’.
    On the other hand, an effort to compose a song that is patently NOT about titties, beer, rockingoutwithyourcockoutbaby(rockout), but instead to articulate a more useful sentiment that could/should resonate with man, woman and beast. It’s hokey, it’s sentimental, it’s overly sincere, but maybe it’s an honest expression of who he is. The fact that his plea for peace, love, tolerance etc etc seems to find absolutely no purchase on your barren and infertile pysche is maybe more reflective of YOUR persona.

    As for the whole anthem debacle, to his credit he was clearly mortified, apologised profusely to us all, and then released a (somewhat hokey, sentimental, over-sincere) video of his second attempt. It takes a big man to admit it when he’s wrong.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  8. jaysus says:

    This is the fundamenal problem with the south african artist of any form. They’re work is all derivative copies of what’s produced overseas and its meaningless trite. Anyone with real talent is sucked up by the northern hemisphere to be stars at a young age instead of languishing down here.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  9. Oliver says:

    ” ‘Ard on the lad.” Ha ha, that’s great.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  10. nissim says:

    @ oliver – “cultural” figures are as fair game as politicians. You don’t have to be a Capetonian to spot – and villlify – a lack of sincerity and talent. You don’t have to be Capetonian to call shit shit, and tell the traditional media that not everyone in this country buys into any crap has-been popster just because they get airplay, and once sported “dreads”. There are more than enough rags out there to fellate the dorks, the “blockbusters”, the banal, and the creatively insolvent pop pap. We need informed, critical writing. …And at the moment no-one is doing it better than Mahala. Deal with it byaaitch.
    PS I saw Ard at the Assembly two weeks ago and I can tell you he is Kak. (and a bit of a helio-rectal A-hole) … And I’m not even from Cape Town!

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  11. Andy says:

    Long and Tall… maybe I’ll write about that then…

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  12. Darren says:


    Basically a piece on how much you don’t like someone. Brilliant.

    Not sure I have learnt anything but the the great thing is I am coming back regularly now just to read and take in your amazing ability at crap stories, rubbish research and ability to post a few videos.

    You are brilliant Edmonds and I shall tell all my friends to pop by and read.

    Its like I have found a new drug on which to feast.

    Love you.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  13. Oliver says:

    Cultural figures are fair game. Anyone is. It’s a modern world and everyone can publish to everyone about everyone. But this is not really fair or relevant. If I personally dislike for instance Bono, his music and his cause I should keep my position in mind when I write about him. Never will I dig into him because I’m different and my understanding of those things differ. You must compensate for the fact that you too have subjective opinions. Mahala writers are excellent at writing about themselves and how they are right and everything is wrong and ignorant and capitalist.

    If Brock Lesnar called Donald Trump a loser you can both understand and laugh at it. If Donald Trump called Brock Lesnar a loser the same will hold. Different goals, different reasons for success, different reasons for existing. They’ve both got fans and it would be silly to put the two up against each other. Mahala is like a Donald Trump fan writing a review on the success and relevance of Brock Lesnar. You must understand that your assumption of business success is not true. Physical prowess and domination are now important. Money is secondary.

    I don’t like Ard either, and I wasn’t in the Assembly that night. I hate the Bang-Bang club so I don’t join conversations with people who love it. I think Bono’s not cool so I don’t see his concerts. I don’t write intellectually void articles about my one dimensional opinion. If anything, Mahala is a case study for anyone who wants to argue that democratisation of media lowered its standards.

    You very often see meta discussions here – discussions about discussions . Those are the things that good writers keep under the hood. Flaunting the mechanics of your thinking like that is a sign of intellectual immaturity. The equivalent of driving around with a fake chrome engine cover and no bonnet. It’s unfortunate that this magazine is falling victim to it more and more. Journalists should be admired for striving towards subjective objectivity, not for sitting down and having “the balls” to vomit up a rude version of their own opinion. Like mentioned earlier, Ard as a icon of white SA is an interesting point, not the writer’s opinion about his style.

    And for the record, I like the Cape Town vibe for what it is. Much like I love JHB for what it is. Great cities, great people, very different.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  14. Murray says:

    Disappointing Brandon. If you don’t like the guy then don’t engage with him. All this ‘article’ does is show your disdain for Ard and that you finally have a chance to kick the man when he’s down.

    One could say all your big words and in-depth analysis are what Norman Mailer called “advertisements for myself”. They signal you have a big brain. Please use it on more useful stuff than this.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  15. Mugabe says:

    I lol’d. Then I cried.

    Jaysus says:

    “This is the fundamenal problem with the south african artist of any form. They’re work is all derivative copies of what’s produced overseas and its meaningless trite. Anyone with real talent is sucked up by the northern hemisphere to be stars at a young age instead of languishing down here.”

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHHAHAHHAA. Holy shit dude. Stop sniffing your own asshole and go play outside.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  16. Anonymous says:

    I think Arse’s performance on M-Net was his finest, most truthful to date. It showed his lack of talent, his insincerity, his crap styling, his fake accent (mi skuzi?) and his complete lack of professionalism perfectly. Arse, if you are reading this, perhaps it’s time you and the Parlotones did a duet together. It could be the ultimate wanker stage fest. Between them and your ‘band’ you are a fucking disgrace to our music industry.
    If you REALLY want to know what this tossnut is a clone of, then you should have watched them play COUNTING CROWS covers to death at the Firkin pub in Verwoerdburg mid to late 90’s. They played them till people puked beer. From there he was signed to a shitty label, and one of the first photos I saw of them was this utter wanker sitting in the middle of a sofa, with his legs open, as if he’d just farted, and the rest of the band screwed up faces, sitting next to him. It’s this lack of sincerity that made me hate him from day one.
    So, thanks Arse, for your best, most honest performance. For being a fake. For bastardising our music industry, filling it with watered down shit.
    Andy – he’s hardly the poster child at all.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  17. Sindy-lou says:

    I cannot believe you used George Orwell’s “Politics & the English Language” to break down and analyse Ard Matthews’ “What he means”.

    Orwell is rolling in his grave.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  18. more equal than others says:

    “As soon as certain topics are raised, the concrete melts into the abstract ”

    Now this Orwellian gem can be used to describe any of Brandon’s discussions on subjects of a sociopolitical nature. The man who refuses to get his hands dirty should be wary of quoting those whose wisdom will uncover his own shortcomings.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  19. Marx the Spot says:

    From hate springeth art… Opening para is a gem Mr Edmonds

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  20. Prince Myshkin says:

    Oliver, you’re a fucking tool and most of what you say boils down to two completely non-combative, uninteresting points which strip journalism of its soul: one, everything is an opinion; and two, you don’t think that “superficial pop songs” and “Marvel comics films” deserve to be criticised because ‘they’re good at what they do’. Your logic is essentially, sit back and have a good time, don’t criticise. This is the sort of banal middle-class opinion which is precisely the target of Mahala, hence the reason its writers choose their topics and angles.

    This comment will get kakked on for my following statement: most of the Mahala writers are simply a great deal more intelligent than you are, and these comment boards are filled with fear and anonymous animosity. What would of course be ideal, is if we could have some insight into the professional/career lives of comment-board haters like you – then we could have a really interesting discussion about hypocrisy, because a guy like you could be any number of totally inconsistent things that everyone who uses this website can’t see.

    And my final point: all you guys who decry the decline of journalism, the democratisation of journalism, and my personal favourite, the “Mahala’s going down the tubes” argument – how much do you people actually know about the function and nature of the journalism industry in South Africa? what and where was this ideal journalistic mode/outlet that you keep comparing Mahala to? I really don’t think you people know what you’re talking about. You come gamboling on here with your “anti-journalism” tirades, oblivious to contexts of production. Just shut up or say something interesting. There’s a reason you aren’t a journalist and a reason you don’t get paid for your opinions.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  21. Apostle says:

    Mahala has managed to wedge itself deep inside it’s own arsehole.

    Fucking hipster wannabees.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  22. Oliver says:

    @ Prince Myshkin (I’m assuming you’re a real prince as you are so against anonymity – otherwise you’d be guilty of the hypocrisy that you accused the fabricated me of)

    I’m no journalist but I do get paid for my opinions. Journalists often use them, build on them or criticize them and then they in turn get paid. I am in the opinion business. Good and proper. (I’m here because this website used to represents a small and interesting part of SA society).I don’t think someone who opens a comment with “Oliver (or any writer), you’re a fucking tool” should be commenting on journalism. You somehow see a necessity for a combative dialogue – journalists must be otherwise. Before you get too hell bent on that, consider what happens when a political party, founded on revolution, makes it into power. The revolution can’t stop because it will mean the end of the party. So revolution and combat becomes an end in itself. What we see in Johannesburg today is the result of assuming necessity for combat. There are more ways to shape thoughts and to build society – learning for instance. But I’m starting to see how this article can scoff at tolerance and still be popular. A combative dialogue is what you’re after and that’s difficult when you’re tolerant as well.

    Criticism’s good. But you must decide to what end you want to criticize. Since the regime change, white people have been struggling with criticism and action, Johannes Kerkorrel and people of that ilk didn’t have that problem. They could criticize and they could suggest an alternative (new regime). These days whites struggle because they suffer from tremendous guilt and black government is shocking. You can’t go after yourself because you’re you (you’re guilty but you can’t get rid of yourself), you can’t go after the corrupt government because they’re black (and no self respecting Mahala supporter can criticize a black government) , so in order to get all that criticism energy out you conjure up some ideology of art and compare everything to it.

    Consider this, would a Mercedes Benz C-Class fare well in a review of a super racing car? Would a F1 car fare well when reviewed for drivability, economy, comfort and durability? Both are however good cars. News for you would be that there are different genres within any one discipline and we should appreciate that. Those genres also warp and morph as we move through global cultures. So your ‘one size fits all’ view of criticism is wrong.

    Finally, note how I don’t swear and don’t make personal insults. Why not? Because it’s a formal fallacy in argument. Clever people acknowledge that it is so. Play the ball not the man. You don’t do that. You like playing the man. You like playing the man so much that you call me out (“What would of course be ideal, is if we could have some insight into the professional/career lives of comment-board haters like you “) and then preemptively start digging in (“then we could have a really interesting discussion about hypocrisy, because a guy like you could be any number of totally inconsistent things that everyone who uses this website can’t see.”). We’re not anti-journalism here. We’re very pro-journalism. It’s jus that journalism here is bad. We like good journalism very much (Ivo Vegter comes to mind).

    The writers here might be smarter than I am. There are many people in the world who are smarter than I. But the writing here is not. And while you might be a very bright person, your argument isn’t all too solid either.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  23. Carol Reed says:


    I was totally with you until you said Ivo Vegter.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  24. Oliver says:

    @ Carol

    That’s quite funny. I don’t always agree with what he says but he’s always got an interesting and good view. Also quite consistent I find in his support of certain topics. For what it’s worth I’ll say I’ve seen him on a panel and he’s got a good ear for feedback and he can think on his feet. Like salt, I find, you need him in a good media diet. But if you live on Ivo alone you’ll die a painful death.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  25. Fly Trap says:

    Hey Brandon,

    Why didn’t you start this article with what time you woke up this morning, when you took a dump, what tooth paste you used to brush, what brand of breakfast munch you ate and what awesome rad cool hipster journo music you jammed as you gleefully weaved through the traffic?

    This would have been more aligned with your overall objective of delivering to us your personnel diary entry of just exactly how YOU are feeling buddy. You are like an attention seeking Facebook junky who engorges their status bar with their self-musing insights and hopes that everyone will see how righteous and important they are.

    “Ah, but bru, Brandon is entitled to his freedom of opinion and it’s not like you have to read it chorna!” – Yeah, I agree, I don’t have to read it but unfortunately I did because I was attracted (much like a fly to a trap) by the prospect of some intelligent insight into a current topic that held water within my interest. Sadly, I ended up stuck on the sticky reel trying to wriggle free…

    Ard has accomplished a lot for himself and has worked tirelessly. I was gutted for the oke (albeit he messed up pretty bad). When I watched the clip I literally felt my stomach sink out of sympathy. You do have the right to write about just how kak you think he is for this one faux paux. But no matter how eloquent you manage to piece the fragments together, when it is delivered with such shameless venom as this was, it will never be of any profound literary substance. Never!

    I don’t know about the rest of you but I’d like to read something from capable writers such as Brandon that doesn’t purely serve the purpose of belittlement and self-venting to illicit reaction . It’s just cheap and nasty. All it has done is solidify my belief that this fertile crop of vital cultural press and freedom of speech that is/should be – Mahala – has become a rotten breeding ground for contentiousness and mindless stone throwing.

    P.S – I don’t “hate” you bro, I just think you’re a misguided nugget of a douche bag…

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  26. Nich Hustler says:

    It’s one thing to not like a guy and perhaps for reason’s valid to yourself, but those reason’s are not valid to everyone else, and this was an unwarranted rant of pure drivel dressed up in fancy words about a man who has undoubtedly done more for South African music than the writer of this post. Sure take a dig, give your point of view, but really was all this necessary? I doubt it. And by your own hatred of Ard you definitely lost track of any impartiality in talking about a national event.

    Furthermore, I only read the occasional article on Mahala but man alive there seems to be a prevailing negative tone about pretty much everything. Often I feel like the writers are working hard to find reasons to complain when they could be putting just as much effort into finding something to be happy about…

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  27. Captain Lombard says:

    Hey Brandon – great review of the song.

    The song left me cold – and it is an embarrassment, as Ard is hailed as this great rockstar or something of South Africa. Same with the Parlotones. I suppose the mainstream in any country is cringeworthy so whatever.

    I disagree with @olivier – I don’t see why Ard or the Parlotones or Captain America can’t be properly criticised. There is something called taste and art – and it is not entirely subjective. You know when you’re being moved. I don’t know – perhaps there are some poor souls out there that will be moved by Ard’s lyrics – but they’re probably the same people that have never experienced a good movie, or a good book, or a good song.

    I think Brandon is trying to raise our consciousness here – unlike Ard who is adding to the derivate shit for brains mediocre cesspit of humanity. I mean – he’s adding zero value to the world. He’s taking away from us.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  28. Oliver says:

    @Captain Lombard

    The song leaving you cold I’m assuming is the national anthem or is it the ‘hope, tolerance’ song?

    And, I don’t see why those guys shouldn’t be criticised either. They should. Now I will use Captain America for this example. Captain America has been aired in many countries now and so have the other Marvel movies. It’s made a fortune and millions of people went to see it. When you zoom out, this comes off the back of an enormous comic culture (especially in the US). It all went relatively silent (relatively) and then suddenly an explosion of superhero movies out of nowhere. Now I can see Mahala writers itching to write about the Capitalist machine and American ideology, but the truth is that this goes hand in hand with a lot of other peculiarly “childish” things. Korea sold off a professional computer gamer for a fortune. There are some very un-Mahala things happening in the world.

    The world is changing. Mahala has not. The fact that Captain America has gained such wide support means something. You say that it’s because art is slipping through the cracks and white people are evil and socialism is best and that its is banal (Mahala buzz word), but in the same period, a good amount of art movies made it out. Art is flourishing. Street art has never been so legitimate and people are pushing the boundaries every day. They might not be painting monochrome a picture of a apple and a flower but it’s still art. Banksy, for instance, can be argued to be art. Although, I somehow feel that a Banksy poster is to a Mahala reader what a Loslyf is to a backyard mechanic. The fact that grown-ups with job s flock to the cinemas to watch a superhero movie is a very interesting phenomenon and the world has never seen it before. And the irritating thing is that this wont be the first thing that happened that Mahala missed because their writers called it ‘banal’ or ‘capitalist’ or ‘unimaginative’ or ignored it due to their ethnocentric view.

    Read this article again and tell me what is said in it. If I had to edit this for professional purposes I’ll open it by stating “I dislike Ard but…” That is the only information that the first two paragraphs carried. If hope-fear-tolerance collapses the meaning of those words, can you imagine what Brandon did to his hatred for Ard? I’m not going through the whole thing again. But trust me when I say it’s badly written. And I’m criticizing it within the constraints of the Mahala website and the argumentative function that these articles ought to play. If this article landed on target then all the “Mahala is going down the tubes” comments are true because then Mahala is a personal blog for a few supposed journalists.

    Art and taste are entirely subjective. Sorry. But some agreements around what it art is gain critical mass and become accepted. You now joined one particular agreement and you are now arguing for its exclusivity. Nothing else is art, only my art. You also say that art moves (questionable, but fine). And then you say only the things that move you can be considered art. So art is what moves you. And you pity those who are moved by something else. You do know that what moves you will depend on your personality which in turn depends on, well, a lot of other things. I have to point out that you should take a leaf out of Ard’s book: tolerance. I think it’s rich that you should say Ard takes away from us with a bad song while you are writing the very narrow definition of what art is and isn’t (which in itself is quite a topic).

    There can be some really cool articles on where society is moving and what it’s leaving behind. They can still use the word banal and even be socialist. But they’ll have to get new, more tolerant journalists.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  29. Nich Hustler says:

    Oliver that was one of the most amazing and well thought out replies ever! Thank you and one million internets to you!

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  30. Oliver says:

    I do what i can.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  31. What the fuck Mahala? says:

    Did you just read your first Orwell novel Edmonds? This article is such a piece of shit. Before you dismiss someone else’s work you should try and produce something that isn’t a complete waste of fucking time yourself.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  32. Aléz says:

    Well said Oliver.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  33. brandon says:

    @Oliver I honestly can’t understand a single thing you’re saying. Donald Trump, wrestlers, cars. It’s all a bit scary really. You have the tone deaf self-belief of the Norway shooter. I don’t want to antagonize you. Your tone, so calm and assured, so complacent, is disturbing. Let’s pretend you mean well. I appreciate the time you’ve taken to respond but both your thought and ability to express it is just plain awful. Did you say you are “in the opinion business”? What does that even mean? People pay you for the drek you’ve coughed up here? I love your unsubstantiated diss: “trust me when I say it’s badly written”. Ha ha. I happily accept your judgement. Why not? Who cares? Do you think it matters to me what you think? You’re a phantom on my screen “Oliver”. You don’t matter. Matter doesn’t matter. Entropy awaits us. Is aready inside of us. Everything is headed inexorably towards white out. Definitive zero. I hate Ard. I enjoy it. I shared my loathing. If you want positivity join a cult. Take it leave it. And if you’re going to get critical about this site and my writing and other writers on it then at least do it well. At least write well. With some snap and venom. With barbs that stick. You brought a butter knife to a gunfight. At least think clearly. Your posts are just muddled, gormless and sad. I suspect english may not be your first language. Anyway here are few of your choicest howlers:

    – “journalists should be admired for striving towards subjective objectivity” (huh?) talk about a ‘formal fallacy’!!

    – “you can’t go after the corrupt government because they’re black” (this is obviously the level of “analysis” you’d prefer on the site, just idiotic, and why am I not surprised you’re into Ivo ‘fracking aint so bad’ Vegter?)

    – “look at things for what they are” (yeah wouldn’t that be great except you know disagreeing on exactly how things are accounts for um Palestine, American Idol, History as such, the urge to philosophy, speech, progress, Enlightenment…)

    – you chastise mahala writers for failing to “go after the real ills” of society when past articles have covered sexism, inequality, racism, rape, crime, homelessness, drug abuse, AIDS and on and on…

    This site has a solid, proud 2 year history “Oliver”…it contains multitudes – it remains an ongoing archive of contemporary SA attitudes, moments and problems. We are continually blooding new young writers. We offer an articulate immediate portal into youth culture while bringing all kinds of writing (some more challenging than others) into play. We do see “things for what they are” on this site, more than most, and what we see aint exactly pretty. Maybe, as Jack once yelled at Tom Cruise, “You can’t handle the truth!” Certainly we need to start thinking about praxis: about changing the world rather than slinging arrows at it. That certainly interests me. I’ve taken this mud-slinging hater persona about as far as it can go.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  34. Nich Hustler says:

    Pretty certain a writer should never feel the need to defend their own work, stand by the words you have written as you have written them. Your defense adds nothing new to the total sum of conversation, except maybe to inform us that you don’t like a well written criticism…

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  35. Oliver says:

    @ Brandon

    On subjective objectivity.

    I can go through the choicest list if you like.

    I didn’t know this was a fight, that I needed venom and snap and guns and all of that. I just like a good conversation, heated if need be. And I’ve not had Jack Nicholson quoted at me. That’s a first.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  36. Carol Reed says:

    @Nich Hustler (surely you mean Niche?)

    If you re-read Brandon’s comment you’ll find he is not defending the piece but rather critique Oliver’s statements and questioning his viewpoint. Oliver is the one here who has failed to see things (mahala) as they are.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  37. Oliver says:

    @Nich Hustler

    Carol’s right on that. The two articles serve two purposes. But the one you posted is better at defending than this one is at attacking (it’s not a critique). The zero31 article is more to the point.

    @ Carol Reed

    What is Mahala? (Honest question, not being funny. I feel I have to state that)

    The new Immigrant City article is ok though. So for the record, Mahala’s not terrible.

    Are there any other youth culture sites that people here can recommend?

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  38. @Oliver says:

    Your views are incredibly naive and unsophisticated. Also, HOW are you paid for your opinions? don’t come on here and try to get enigmatic. Let’s see links to some of your opinions so we can assess and compare. See how much better your opinions are than the ones you criticise. I’m willing to bet you’re far too chicken to put your money where your mouth is.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  39. Prince Foreskin says:

    Thank you Oliver you delivered a coherent unemotional response to the usual vitriol pumped out on this site.

    Brandon says “I honestly can’t understand a single thing you’re saying.” and that’s the point, you don’t understand a single thing that he said. Your own mental world, swollen with apparent self-loathing, failed ideology and inflamed with self-righteousness doesn’t let you take anything in. This in itself should be cause for alarm. I’m yet to see a Mahala writer or editor accept constructive criticism or eat their feedback.

    Let me flesh out what Oliver is saying about Captain America. He’s not saying you can’t or shouldn’t diss it. He’s just saying, that it is sensible to review it within a certain context. It is an object of entertainment within a specific film genre, and for most of us it is useful to know whether it achieves its objective within this genre. If I am to go watch a comedy I want to know if it is funny – not necessarily whether it conforms to the notions of Marxist ideology. Sure that may be of interest to Mahala readers, and yes it’s interesting to take a step back and analyse the broader implications of pop culture and see what they tell us about our world, economy and political spaces, but it would be quite a bit more interesting if this wasn’t just done from the flogged-to-death, ass-raped, blood-soaked horse of Marx-lite taught in your local sociology department.

    The reason you’re getting kakked out on your own blog? It’s because right now it looks like this is the brief for Mahala writers:
    1. Mention the white middle class, ensuring that all middle-class whites are stereotyped as hyper-privileged, Idols watching, covert racists totally ignorant of the reality of their compatriots
    2. Use the socialism angle. Capitalism is bad mmkay? Never ever suggest an alternative to capitalism that isn’t socialism, because it’s so fucking convenient to have had four generations of useful idiots do our thinking for us
    3. Be offensive, be provocative. Pump it up with bile and rage until it comes across as barely intelligible intellectually narcissistic head wank – but do try remain politically correct
    4. Insult your readers

    It’s fun for a while, but then it just looks old and stale and contrived.

    What a waste of potential. I started coming here to read left-field articles, now I come here because the comments panning the articles are more interesting, entertaining, thought-provoking and lucid than the articles themselves.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  40. Max says:

    @Prince Foreskin – I severely disagree with your analysis of the supposed ‘brief’ for Mahala writers.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  41. @@Oliver says:

    His opinions are pasted all over this page you numnuts. Chances are he’s a consultant in some field, is required to think rationally and is actually held accountable if his opinions produce success or failure – rarely the case for ‘intellectuals’.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  42. brandon says:

    At last, Foreskin! That’s more like it. Some excellent points. Not sure what you mean by ‘the socialism angle’ or ‘Marx-lite’? Concrete examples would help.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  43. Myshkin says:

    The problem, @Prince Foreskin, is this: Mahala doesn’t agree here on what the “context” is. You think the context is “entertainment” – they see culture and its products as belonging to a wider network of values, politics, economics and social relationship. In other words, a network of consequence. And in your view, entertainment has no consequence in this world, it’s a just a cheap thrill disconnected from ideology. That’s where you, and frankly most people in this country, and just dreadfully, boringly, dangerously wrong. Read radical/leftist journalism from elsewhere on the planet, and you’ll learn how provincial this opinion of art actually is. They’re trying something different, something provocative, something that clearly riles the masses, and I respect that even if they don’t always get it right.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  44. Jötunn says:

    Andy says:
    August 30, 2011 at 9:49 am
    It’s not really fair on Ard Matthews but he’s basically become the poster boy for where white South Africa is at 18 years after liberation. So up our own arses we don’t know the words to the national anthem – which in itself is a magnanimous and inclusive prayer for peace – unlike that die stem monstrosity…

    Desmond Tutu is right. White South Africa has failed to embrace the spirit of reconciliation.

    Fuck you Andy Davis…you are a royal cunt. My blood is seething. Your constant anti-white rhetoric makes me ill to the bone. I wish terrible things upon you.
    Go live in one of your precious townships and uplift the people. Make a real difference.This bourgeois indulgence called Mahala does nothing for our country or race relations.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  45. Prince Foreskin says:

    Jeez Myshkin, that’s all a bit presumptuous. Did you see the bit where I said ” yes it’s interesting to take a step back and analyse the broader implications of pop culture and see what they tell us about our world, economy and political spaces”. I mean is your thinking along the George Bush ‘if you’re not with us, you’re against us’ lines? Just because I disagree with you doesn’t mean I’m automatically a member of an ideological camp you are opposed to.

    I’ve read my fair share of radical leftist journalism, and it’s interesting up to a point, and then you start realising that much of the time they are operating for a set of core, unexamined assumptions and beliefs, many of which are drawn from the writings of Marx & friends. I don’t personally have time for people who can’t subject their own thought world and ideology to the type of intensive interrogation that they subject others’ to. It’s just another bandwagon that seems to be quite fashionable among a certain class of people at the moment (and this class is notable for its failure to give up its worldly possessions, share them among the poor and dispossessed and move into their local township).

    All I am really saying is it would be nice if Mahala could also present ideas from outside the tired old capitalism-socialism dichotomy. That would require some real original thinking and analysis and keep things fresh.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  46. Myshkin says:

    Yeah, I see you presumptuous charge and raise you one: how presumptuous to assume that Mahala writer (or myself) don’t subject worldviews to critical analysis? And where exactly is this guaranteed capitalism-socialism split on the site? About 90% of the articles published this week have nothing to do with socialism.

    Your thing about “real original thinking and analysis” – you basically mean, if I take your and Oliver’s previous point, to be isolated, genre-specific criticism of particular cultural products. That’s being done _everywhere_ else. Argus, Times, M&G, you name it, chief. Mahala’s the one doing something different. Name one other SA youth magazine that takes the perspective taken on here, and I’ll agree that the analysis on here is “tired”.

    Zizek once remarked about on Al Jazeera about how we were all “Fukuyamans”, because in the absence of a viable alternative to capitalism, we’d lived through the last two decades as though we’d reached the end of history: the final, unstaggering reign of liberal democracy. The “socialism” angle (even though I think you overstate it) is a vital way of rethinking the taken-for-granted, the status-quo, what is and what is presumed to be eternal and immutable about the way we live. It’s supposed to grate, it’s supposed to hurt.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  47. Prince Foreskin says:

    Okay (Andy, I assume) we’re going to have to do a point by point here so I make myself understood:

    “Yeah, I see you presumptuous charge and raise you one: how presumptuous to assume that Mahala writer (or myself) don’t subject worldviews to critical analysis? And where exactly is this guaranteed capitalism-socialism split on the site? About 90% of the articles published this week have nothing to do with socialism.”

    Mahala does subject worldviews to critical analysis, but in the cases where it is done it is done overwhelmingly from a perspective where capitalism is an evil monolithic force, and socialism and Marxist thinking is the solution to. I bumped around the walls of university sociology departments for long enough to know when i’m dealing with world view based on sociliasm – in Brandon’s case he’s quite up front about it, Kavish likes to indulge every now and then, and then you have the stuff where the ghost of Marx lurks in the background like a sauerkraut fart in an elevator. Yes, not all your articles take this angle, but the ones that are political in nature often do. I’m open to being proved wrong – please post links to articles with a political angle wriiten on Mahala that feature another perspective.

    “Your thing about “real original thinking and analysis” – you basically mean, if I take your and Oliver’s previous point, to be isolated, genre-specific criticism of particular cultural products. That’s being done _everywhere_ else. Argus, Times, M&G, you name it, chief. Mahala’s the one doing something different. Name one other SA youth magazine that takes the perspective taken on here, and I’ll agree that the analysis on here is “tired”.”

    No I don’t mean that by real original thinking and analysis Mahala should start doing starred reviews of films. I get why you do them, I get that you’re one of the few who takes a look at the broader context – I’m just saying that it would be nice if it wasn’t always the same horse being flogged (see above). Personally you couldn’t drag me into Captain America or most of the other shite flogged at cinemas, and when I do waste my money on movies it’s hard to resist looking at what the film says about a broader political context and agenda. Just saying that the Marxist analysis is just one way of looking at things – there most certainly are others.

    “Zizek once remarked about on Al Jazeera about how we were all “Fukuyamans”, because in the absence of a viable alternative to capitalism, we’d lived through the last two decades as though we’d reached the end of history: the final, unstaggering reign of liberal democracy. The “socialism” angle (even though I think you overstate it) is a vital way of rethinking the taken-for-granted, the status-quo, what is and what is presumed to be eternal and immutable about the way we live. It’s supposed to grate, it’s supposed to hurt.”

    One of the problems, as Oliver mentioned here, is that capitalism is understood from a specifically Marxist standpoint on this site. Capitalism has many faces and expressions – some of these are malignant, and some are beneficial to the expression of human potential. You could say much the same about socialism – it has been incredibly destructive and disempowering in some instances, and in some it has been empowering and has uplifted whole countries. What we’re dealing with at the moment is crony capitalism supported by fiat currency and wholescale corruption of many of our financial and business institutions. This is about greed and the centralisation of power, not about a ‘system’. The biggest bunch of cunts will fuck up and exploit the best system while decent people will make a kak system work.

    Socialism is ONE WAY of rethinking the status quo. It has its place for sure, BUT maybe the time has come to move outside operating in the ‘known’ and start taking other ways of looking at the world. One of the tragedies in this country is that African culture was first stamped out by white imperialism, was then steamrolled by socialist ideology as a reaction to that, and is now dancing to the tune of financiers and consumerism. Maybe one way of getting another perspective would be too see what the world looks like from a traditional African perspective, in their words, with their thought forms. And beyond that there are a million other ways of stepping back and looking at things – just saying.

    Grating and hurting are all good and well, but fuck… after a while grating and hurting becomes a form of violence that increases alienation, fragmentation and the disarray of the masses.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  48. Myshkin says:

    1. I’m not Andy and I don’t write for this site.
    2. Some of the writers here appear to be informed by a critique of capitalist ideology. That doesn’t mean they’re socialists, it doesn’t mean they’re Marxists. And I don’t think there’s a problem with a broad underlying worldview informing a website.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  49. Roger Young says:


    As to your point :2

    The only thing that defines Mahala per se is that we totally reject this notion of a broad underlying work view. Which is in itself a broad underlying work view.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  50. Prince Foreskin says:

    1. Okay
    2. Yes they may not be Marxists, some may be unacquainted with Marxism in its pure theoretical form. This doesn’t mean it doesn’t form the basis for what they are thinking – thanks to the social science departments in our universities we’re producing thousands of people who’ve been taught to engage critically with society using only one ideological foundation (and yes I have been part of this system, and yes I have engaged in and even supported Marxism extensively in its pure theoretical form). If you think monoculture is bad in our grocery aisles but super in our thought world, then that’s your prerogative.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  51. Myshkin says:

    Foreskin, I really don’t know what you’re talking about anymore. If you read film reviews in the Cape Times, they’re ideological, they’re informed by a particular opinion. Are you going to go and rant at them for not having a different opinion? What is your point here, because what’s coming to me is that you broadly disagree with Marxist/socialist principles, you percieve (some? most?) of the articles on this site following from those premises, and so you have a problem with them a priori.

    Probably no one on this site is a pure Marxist or socialist – if they have ONE ideological foundation, as does everyone, it’s made up of multitudes, contradictions, individual experiences. Mahala critiques monoculture, precisely. That’s its point. What’s Marxist about the piece on immigrants currently running? I don’t know what you’re saying here other than you disagree with the premises of some opinions on this site and therefore you think the writers should change their premises.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  52. Max says:

    don’t feed the trolls.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  53. Prince Foreskin says:

    “Foreskin, I really don’t know what you’re talking about anymore. ”

    I think that’s been the problem from the get go. Unfortunately I don’t know how to explain myself any more simply.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  54. stereotheist says:

    @roger young – “The only thing that defines Mahala per se is that we totally reject this notion of a broad underlying work view. Which is in itself a broad underlying work view”
    …ok, so if we can agree on that, the let’s call it all equal. And then let’s use Orwell again and say that all stories are equal, but some are more equal than others.

    …sorry Mr. Edmonds. Fuck ard matthews, seriously ,but fuck you too.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  55. Oliver says:

    I packed it in after Brandon called ‘subjective objectivity’ a formal fallacy. It’s ridiculous.

    I honestly think it’s a waste of time to engage. People come here for the rants on the walls, not the actual articles. But you make good points and I’ll post here when I find better sites.

    @ Mahala
    I think it’s wrong to employ uneducated journalists to start a fight with hopeful readers in order to push numbers. And Andy, would it be possible to make some sort of statement about what Mahala is and how Brandon’s article support what this publication stand for.

    And @everyone who battles with understanding: not understanding someone else is an insult to you, not to them. Ask if you don’t get, I always explain and send links because I like it if people explain things to me and send links.

    I’m off, the whole site seems to be one massive troll.


    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  56. Roger Young says:


    Where do you get the idea that Mahala journalists are uneducated?

    Or that our readers are hopeful?

    Or that debate is “fighting”?

    Please elucidate?

    Also Re: No-one understanding you being everyone else’s fault. I will leave you with this: If one person says you have a tail, there is no need to believe you have a tail. If more than one person says you have a tail, you might have a tail.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  57. Oliver says:

    Elucidate? Try words like explain and clarify. Pretentious prick. Don’t try and cover up you lack of understanding. It’s a dumb trick and good writers use the simplest words possible.

    The education issue is the objective subjective thing. And the fact that someone compared his earlier writing to two girls one cup. That stellar piece of documentary work. Educated? Pffft.

    And don’t start that stupid tail argument with me. It’s childish. Read the Emperor’s new clothes. He ended up sporting a kif suit. I get my support from people who don’t swear and limit their use of (a) adjectives and (b) the world banal. My comments got a good amount of thumbs up. People who agree comment less, you should know this. But you should know a lot of things that you don’t. I respect the people who agree with me as much as the people who disagree. With the exception of Brandon (and I know you don’t care, it’s just a fact either way. He’s a bigot). In return however, the people who disagree with me sling person insults and rarely come back to substantiate.

    I wouldn’t let that Brandon character within a 10m radius of either a pencil or keyboard, let alone a website. He’s bad at constructive criticism, but much like other principles he won’t get what constructive criticism means. Probably quote it again as a formal fallacy. Carol Reed is on the mark, I didn’t see Mahala for what is was, I thought it was an informed youth magazine written for curious readers. I think it’s the price of having the internet, any moron can now write and publish. Clay Shirky writes some cool stuff on that but Brandon might think he’s a banal capitalist so there’s another chunk of useful information out the window.

    The fight thing is when Brandon mentioned “You brought a butter knife to a gunfight”. Now Roger, I’m assuming you’re of the same caliber so I’ll explain. Words like ‘gunfight’ assume a fight. Not only because gunfights are violent but because the actual word ‘fight’ is present. I argued explicitly for no combat in arguments. Read the thread.

    And readers are hopeful. If you open a peanut butter jar you’re hopeful to find peanut butter. If you open a magazine you’re hopeful to find some good content. You’re in the publishing business, how do you not know this? And yes, the whole lot of you might think it’s good. You and your naked emperor. There’s a difference between free and cheap. Free sometimes has tons of value. Mahala is cheap and I thought it was free. And that is precisely my point and why I came back here to unsubscribe so your site can stop sending me stupid emails.

    [Oliver’s email address] is not subscribed to any posts on this site.

    …anymore. Now write them another one comrade Brandon.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  58. Roger Young says:


    Let me stop with the arch questions and baiting via pretentious words and try respond.

    We get guys like you occasionally. You discover Mahala, you read an article or four and then you make some kind of strange generalisation in your head about ‘What Mahala is.” Then an article or writer comes along with a style you haven’t encountered on the site and it shatters this worldview. You react in an indignant rage, litter the comment boards with your philosophising and then when you’re exhausted, you slowly relax, stop commenting so fucking much and start to enjoy the site. Or maybe you fuck off.

    You are right about me knowing more about a lot of things than you. I know how Mahala works. It’s a faulty machine. We have good weeks and bad weeks. Like our writers. Edmonds sometimes gets it right and sometimes he doesn’t. Like me, like you.

    Mahala is a community made up of erudite cranks, shouty kids, over thinkers and pop culture obsessives. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

    Mahala isn’t the kind of rule based, static, university approved (except for Wits and UCT) magazine that you’re after. For one it’s not printed on paper (except when it is).

    We’re trying to stretch the envelope of thinking about pop culture, culture culture and anything else we come across and we’ve been doing it for nearly 3 years and it kinda works for us. It happened fairly organically and it’s ahrd to explain how we got this solid support base but it’s there and what is so darned refreshing is that it doesn’t always agree with us. In fact it mostly never agrees with us. And that, hopefully, informs future articles, stories, developments.

    So stick around, I like you, you’ve got moxy, kid.

    But call me a childish prick again and I’ll get Andy to look up your IP address and we’ll send Creepy Steve over.

    PS: The butterknife to a gunfight thing has nothing to do with actual fighting; if you understand pop culture at all.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  59. Benj says:

    Something which is worth looking into is the fact that most of the most violent critics who come on here actually know either Andy (because they mention his name a great deal) or some of the writers. What the means is their anonymity is strategic. They’re criticising people and the magazine in a way they literally wouldn’t do to Andy or any of these writers’ faces. I find the psychology of that absolutely tragic, because it also means there are backstabbing two-faces all over these boards.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  60. Andy says:

    A fresh troll born every minute, Benj

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  61. Prince Foreskin says:

    Cripes – Roger almost saves the day there and then Andy comes along and calls Oliver a troll. Oliver provided a nice objective different perspective on the piece, in association with the Edmonds piece and the other kak on this thread it made for interesting entertaining reading. The reason I’m not unsubscribing is because I like the synergy between post and thread, the way people have to own opinions and face up to intense criticism. You don’t see that on the Daily Maverick, or many other threads really, where people just go to agree with each other or just insult each other and get really old fast. But jeez – disagreeing with someone in a mostly civil way is not trolling. And that IP threat.. what are you guys, the fucking NKVD. I thought we were all into celebrating diversity here.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  62. Roger Young says:

    @Prince Foreskin

    Criminey! The IP threat is a joke, a side swipe at Davis who has in extreme frustration threatened such foolishness before only to laughed at on the boards. If you couldn’t tell that from tone alone just search the site for Creepy Steve, then you’ll KNOW I’m joking.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  63. Andy says:

    no Prince Foreskin… I never called Oliver a troll. It was a quip in response to Benj’s comment. But you, sir, are a douche.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  64. Anonymous says:

    hahaha. I love the way every article on Mahala ends in a handbag fight!

    Back to the topic though. Ard sucks balls so deeply. His voice is like a rasp, his insincere ill placed vibrato is like having your ears stabbed with pencils.

    Please Ard, emigrate to Germany. I’ve heard there are some old grannies there who really love ballbag faces.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  65. Prince Foreskin says:

    Wow Andy, what wit.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  66. YellowElevator says:

    I think Mahala would benefit from some writers who think like Oliver does.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  67. whatevea says:

    Brandon is simply pissing in his own face..there are more important issues to deal with in SA than a pop singers momentary loss of memory while sining the national anthem.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  68. david says:

    sad person you are. now fuck off

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  69. bones says:

    All of these comments and arguments are well and good, but let’s all agree on one thing- Ard is a fucking JOKER.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  70. jelly-bean says:

    The comments/arguments about this article are great! Nice to see that there are some clever & thinking people out there who write well too… Discussion about any topic should be encouraged – hey!,and its happening here.Wharever one thinks about Brandon’s article,kudos to Mahala for creating this forum..I will keep coming back for more!

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  71. Kap net aan... says:

    This is crap. The standard of writing is crap; the comments (in principle) are crap because they indulge the crap writing. The ball is in Mahala’s court to up this ante.
    Please Mahala. Please.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  72. spit heat rocks says:

    Brandon’s article is an opinion piece.
    I thought he articulated his opinion well.
    He clearly touched a nerve.

    Mahala provides a platform for sharing opinion. If you don’t really like the opinion you see on the site, why don’t submit your own? If it is a coherent and somewhat relative, chances are you will see it posted.

    Why doesn’t someone submit an opinion piece on their views of Mahala? That could be an interesting read.

    I find JustJinjer’s music rather flacid.
    The fact that they did not remain an obscure Counting Crows cover band is indicative of their appeal to a larger audience.

    I would argue this is more a debate of aesthetics. Who defines what good taste is? The educated intellectual? The artists? Or the greater mass?

    However you may define art, it’s primary motive is to move people.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  73. Drunk Ard says:

    I just got here. Heard someone say my name?

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  74. Andy says:

    Welcome Ard… a brief synospis: Brandon doesn’t dig you very much.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  75. Drunk Ard says:

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  76. Matt V says:

    Wow, a lot of emotion in the post and the comments.
    That would count as job done for Mahala in my book, comment haters – check, comment support – check, contentious subject – double check.

    My 2 cents – Ard (in the same way as the Parlotones did) has shown that he’s in it for the money and doesn’t really give a shit about South Africa. Learning the anthem after you fucked up isn’t a huge deal, it’s strategic marketing damage control. Didn’t dig it either anyway.

    The post itself – pretty self-indulgent, but it’s an opinion piece, so in this case, I kinda expected it. Don’t think that quoting Orwell elevates you to his standard of writing though and I think someone said it already above, but by introducing his standards, you held yourself up to them as well and didn’t fair too well.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  77. Nich Hustler says:

    Matt V, your reply is a little ignorant even our Springbok Captain said that Ard did the song perfectly during rehearsal, he didn’t learn it afterward he knew it. Also when you make your living as a musician, you are yes in it for the money. Because you know having a roof over your head and food in your belly is a big plus in life. I in my job for the money too, when you have a skill that you can make money off and decide to that is called having a job…

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  78. Matt V says:

    Hey, being called ignorant is a first, but let me qualify my comment for you.
    (Keeping it civil, pls pls, keep it civil as well)

    I know and work with musicians who make money as a by-product of doing what they love and being respectful to where they come from. I love guys like this and generally they end up being more successful (and getting more money) because of their sincerity.

    There’s nothing wrong with being in it for the money, the Parlotones are brilliant opportunists and marketers, but as a South African, I find them singing ‘bring it home germany’ during the soccer world cup and a classic example of misaligned values. Misaligned in terms of my own values mind you, I’m painfully aware that we all have different value sets, but I can’t support a band that’s willing to horse trade their country for cash. Just Jinger – the name change thing to accommodate the yanks also irritated me..

    And then, the caveat, even the Springbok Captain said… well, if Smit said it, it must be true.. Sorry, I don’t buy it. I watched him flounder, not being able to pronounce the words. You can’t tell me that a guy who makes his living getting up on stage, suddenly choked from the pressure in a TV studio because he was so overwhelmed.

    It’s a matter of opinion obviously, but I simply don’t buy it. I interpreted it as, he probably hasn’t ever sung the anthem ever before or he didn’t bother to practice enough. Given the amount of cash he was probably paid for his performance, even SuperSport would have expected a more professional approach. Everybody probably took it for granted that he could manage and yet, he floundered. It doesn’t give me joy to watch him flounder nor to point out that I wasn’t happy about it. But do I have the right to expect more from him? I think so.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  79. Nich Hustler says:

    Thanks for that reply, it was a refreshing difference from a lot of the other little wars that have happened here. And I think I agree with you up to the point of whether or not he practiced. I suppose I like to believe the best of people, so if Ard says he practiced that’s good for me. But in saying that I must point out I’m no real fan of Just Jinger, I’ve sung along to their songs on the radio but I couldn’t tell you the name of a single one. But as a musician myself, I will say this much and I have said it before: I know what it is like to get on stage at even a small venue and forget words to my own songs, songs in my own language that I wrote the lyrics for and have practiced literally hundreds of times. I dont usually get nervous and then every now an then out of the blue the nerves strike, and you go blank, or worse yet you even know the lyric in your head you are shouting it to yourself but the brain and your lips fail to communicate. So while I’m not a big fan, I can empathise…

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  80. Albert says:

    Okay ouens, diep asemhaal. Raak net ‘n bietjie rustig.

    By the way, thank you, Brandon – can I call you ‘Brandon?- for mentioning the aangeplakte wannabe-yank accent. Also, I like the fact that you used this to attack a poser.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  81. Anonymous says:

    Hell, yes!!
    There are too many fakes passing themselves as the real thing in our music industry (because the audiences are musically illiterate) who then start believing their own hype and become arrogant and lazy. Hoogmoed kom tot ‘n val. Ask Ard. Hehe!!

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  82. Mugabe says:

    I just loosely skipped over all the comments. Its pretty much the usual shit.

    Come on guys this is exactly what Ard is singing about – Peace-Love-Tolerance-Faith-Hope-Trust or whatever (I copied and pasted from the article above). We need to embrace each other. It doesnt matter what book, or dare I say, website you read.

    I’m white and I pay my garden boy double what my dad used to pay him. R60! Who says whiteys haven’t embraced the new SA?? I create employment and I’ve never hired a white garden boy. So therefore I support BEE. Besides, white garden boys call themselves “landscapers” and they charge 12 times that. Kak jol.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  83. Jerri says:

    Other attractions around the Vegas Strip include
    shopping, which is at essentially the most notable
    of some things to complete Las Vegas. If you bring your baby or
    toddler, Circus Circus offers cribs for any small extra fee.
    You is gonna be responsible of the big and small items necessary to make 30 floors of steel and
    cement and you may be well compensated for this.

    my homepage: encore wynn las vegas rooms (Jerri)

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0