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Christian Tiger School

Oh Snap!

by Themba Kriger / 02.02.2012

Christian Tiger School were already playing when we arrived. He had wanted to get there earlier, but had lost track of time, watching YouTube videos and hitting bongs. On the way to the bar he takes off my lens cap and switches me on, making sure everything is still set to ‘Auto’. He turns on the flash, and takes a few crowd shots. Little hipsters in training, none older than 22. The flashing catches the attention of two chicks in the standard party girl outfit of wedges, short skirt and white top. They give him a hug and put on their best pout. Nice Tits, Auto-Focus, Snap!

Christian Tiger School

There crowd on the dance floor is facing the bar, with a few kids gathered in front, watching the boys from Christian Tiger School do their thing. He moves to the front and gets a few shots of them rocking out behind their toys. One has a keyboard linked up to his laptop, but never touches the keys; instead he stares at the screen and rotates a knob on the keyboard every now and then. The other guy is smashing buttons on his sampler. He turns to the crowd and takes a couple of snaps. I have to use my assist light to focus, and so every pic he takes features awkwardly dressed kids, with hair out of a 1995 Sarie, posing like a drunken model. Not for the last time tonight, a group of people ask him to take a picture of them. Fucking narcissists. Snap.

Christian Tiger School

Turning back to the DJs, he puts me into video mode and hits records. I hear chilled out, futuristic, hip hop infused beats that are well produced but seem to lack an edge. The track ends and he stops recording. Outside, the balcony is full and he pushes his way to the back, where his friends are smoking a blunt. He sits down and puts me to one side and has a toke. A few more crowd shots from weird angles. A dude in a wife beater and shorts asks to get his picture taken. Inside a new DJ is playing, but most of the kids are either at the bar or outside. Seems they were here for Christian Tiger School. He moves inside to take a shot of the DJ, but my batteries are finally dead. Irritated, he heads downstairs and throws me into the boot of his car. Thank fuck. My night is over.

Christian Tiger School

Christian Tiger School

Christian Tiger School

Christian Tiger School

*All images © Themba Kriger

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  1. the fuzzy dice from somewhere nice says:

    Oh please make it stop. Permanently.

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  2. Betty says:

    What a kak article. From the POV of the camera? Bet you thought that was smart.

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  3. thegirlwhofellasleep says:

    “There crowd on the dance floor is facing the bar” .. ? ??????

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  4. cnut says:

    Hey this is like the last 3 pieces you covered only each time a wee bit worse… SNAP!

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  5. wanda says:

    That was bad.

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  6. vicknoire says:

    “hits records” about sums this up…wow

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  7. Mike Ric says:

    i dunno if you know russia but its preetty cold. bring a jacket

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  8. Mike Rithkin says:

    i dunno if you know russia but its preetty cold. bring a jacket

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  9. Simpiwe says:

    Does Thembi get paid in coke? His writings reads as if he does,in advance.

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  10. Rs hole says:

    Oi! Andy, couldn’t you take a hint last time? This guy ain’t got it and you need to start acting like a proper editor.

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  11. Anonymous says:

    Next time you want to publish a piece by Themba, Andy, rather look through your contributors and publish something else. By ANYONE else. please god. Relying on bad writing for hits is just poor journalism.

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  12. Anonymous says:

    Where is the photo of the nice tits?

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  13. Jenny Swartz says:

    Lay off the bongs, they are clouding your judgement. Oh and by the way, you suck at writing. NEXT!

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  14. killer says:

    to be honest, Mahala’s hosted worse.

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  15. Dira says:

    dit :a mon sens (grand joueur de batletfield depuis de nombreuses annees pc et console) le mode conquete demande infiniment plus de strategie et de jeu en equipe que le mode rush , mode importe9 dans BBC2 pour foire plaisir aux ados boutonneux de COD? , d ailleurs comme on peut l observer sur la beta at BBC2 , beaucoup de joueur n avait rien a faire de la defense ou de l attaque des caisses .c est un mode qui incite trop au camping , a bientot les kif sur bf3 (j aiguise ma lame ^^)

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  16. Elif says:

    Sean, I am amazed at the Memorial Tree Garden and your commtiment and dedication to this wonderful project. As a member of Hays Hills, I want to say thank you for all your hard work and tell you how much I appreciate having such a beautiful place to go to for prayer, reflection, and meditation. May God be praised and my His blessings be upon you.Tim Snowden

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