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Meme of the Week | Would Not Bang

Meme of the Week | Would Not Bang

by Brandon Edmonds / 26.01.2012

Memes are a pure snort of internet. These evanescent time-wasters are the perfect accompaniment to the dead hours of the dead end service economy. Folk expressions of the post-industrial setting of work today. The mind life of bored kids stuck in underfunded educational settings and people in cubicles staring at screens. We don’t make stuff anymore. Not physically. That’s all been shipped to China and India where people work cheap. Work is mind-fatiguing in a knowledge economy. Ideas hold sway. Muscles get you laid but they don’t get you paid. The richest man in the world is Bill and he’s a geek in glasses.

Memes reflect the claustrophobic self-referring, self-reflexive consequence of spending too much time in your head. Memes are Howard Hughes, the billionaire hotel shut in who went nuts; they circle their own navel obsessively. They’re what the internet wants us to become. Sarcastic, hyper-aware croutons of pointless data bobbing in a soup of endless online time. Memes are the internet equivalent of comped rooms and free drinks and dark windows in casinos. They nibble our attention spans and help us pretend we’re actually doing something by passing them on. Memes desperately need a scolding mom to come in and yank open the curtains and say, It’s a beautiful day outside go enjoy it.

That figure of the scolding mom who threatens to stop the fun and curtail online time is a deep-seated fear in boys. A castrator up there with Medusa. And boys still drive whatever internet culture is. The dominant tone of the internet is basically a teenage boy: self-defensive, casually offensive, easily distracted and definitely over-stimulated, perpetually moody, horny and sensationalistic. It’s as if your annoying little brother’s personality now defines society. And he’s really not comfortable with girls. They’re mostly unknown to him. Some are hot and some are not. Some are way too smart and most aren’t smart enough. Girls don’t share his obsessive nature, his need to be right, his urges. They want to go out and meet people. They make demands and judge. Internet boy culture is not a particularly hospitable place for women. It pinions between lust and hate. My favourite meme of the week captures that anxiety over women perfectly: “2/10 – Would Not Bang”.

It is liberating for young boys in a way. The sheer amount of online beauty, nudity and sex is oppressive. It discounts the possibility of love. You can see anyone do anything. Women who wouldn’t give you the time of day, spread for you. They look into the camera and entice you all day long. This molten economy of desire online is disorientating for boys. There’s a jarring disconnect between the consenting females of networked fantasy life and the ones he’ll routinely meet in the flesh. So resentment builds. Frustration deepens. And memes like this happen.

Of course the meme also suggests the hyper-critical way women look at themselves and other women. The harrying onus of perfection Naomi Wolf detailed in The Beauty Myth and the vast industries of fashion and fragrance and the media. It is liberating for women in that sense. The meme exposes the lack of generousity, the absurdity behind that punishing gaze.

As knowyourmeme.com, put it: “the images are meant to parody hypercritical judgements made about women’s physical appeal on the internet”. What the meme calls out is internet boy culture itself. It’s ridiculous objectifying drive. It’s wariness of real relationships that demand face-time, compromise and commitment. It’s self-deceiving sense of authority. We glimpse the rage of impotence. The meme almost reveals too much about the millions of wired boys who have an immediate unexamined response to everything, who downplay sincerity and make fun of everyone. They clog comment threads. They feed on perceived weakness. On mistakes. They have turned masturbation into a way of life online. These swampy hives of testosterone incubate internet culture. No wonder it stinks of basement sweat. No wonder it is so happy to live in gonzo territory, the lurid, the fantastic. Anything to avoid the 21st Century where women are better educated. Where jobs demand smarts not strength. Where companies hone brands based on communication strategies and boy can women talk. The Would Not Bang meme is a cry for help. Stand up your own selves and yank those curtains open. There’s a whole wide world that needs changing outside.

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RESPONSES (29)
  1. Mariah Pear says:

    You take so long to say so little.

    Thumb up14   Thumb down 14

  2. Richard Dawkins says:

    comment number 1 = exactly what this piece is all about. The internet is ruled by a puerile teenage boy mentality.

    Nice work Edmonds

    Thumb up5   Thumb down 11

  3. Richard Dawkins says:

    don’t let the fake female denoting nom de plume fool ya!

    Thumb up1   Thumb down 2

  4. Mariah Pear says:

    Since when are you a feminist, Dawkins? After the elevator debacle I thought you would have shut up.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 7

  5. Richard Dawkins says:

    i don’t speak troll

    Thumb up6   Thumb down 2

  6. Alex. P says:

    Damn that girl in the first picture has a nice butt.

    Thumb up18   Thumb down 1

  7. Andy says:

    Less words, more pictures.

    Thumb up14   Thumb down 3

  8. Alastair says:

    Genius.

    Thumb up5   Thumb down 3

  9. Tumi says:

    get this dude to write everything Dandy. hehehehe

    Thumb up4   Thumb down 4

  10. Andy says:

    aah Tumi

    Thumb up1   Thumb down 5

  11. Mick says:

    The return of Mightyness.

    Thumb up3   Thumb down 2

  12. squeaky says:

    set these words to a beat and you getta sic flow… keep it coming u got talent ekse 🙂

    Thumb up1   Thumb down 6

  13. Trowel a vowel says:

    Meme of the weak, more like.

    Thumb up4   Thumb down 0

  14. vicknoire says:

    ooh snap

    Thumb up3   Thumb down 0

  15. Rory says:

    Blah blah blah.

    A nice topic ruined by a shovelful of hipster.

    Thumb up3   Thumb down 2

  16. Anonymous says:

    I haven’t read the article but why does the poster say ‘would not bang’ when the girl is so hot? Shouldn’t it say ‘would bang’??

    Thumb up3   Thumb down 2

  17. cnut says:

    Is Brandon Edmonds really Maria’s meme?

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 2

  18. cathy says:

    Okay I’ll never make it but how about photos of the editorial team, now that would be witty!

    Thumb up1   Thumb down 1

  19. Happy says:

    Mahala, Y U NO write better!

    Thumb up2   Thumb down 0

  20. frxn says:

    interwebz is nasty with pretty girls – teardrops fall :'(

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 2

  21. Twincam Sam says:

    and to think… hot girls are ugly too…

    Thumb up1   Thumb down 0

  22. marcus says:

    cant wait to see how this meme evolves (if it does). And i sought of agree with Mariah, you should have had fun with this article.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  23. cading says:

    i like some unusual funny pictures

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  24. Anonymous says:

    I would not mind having for a night.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  25. strofski says:

    i said a bang bang bangedy bang bang bang bang

    Thumb up1   Thumb down 0

  26. Anonymous says:

    It is so true with the culture of instance gratification!Everything fast and perfect.driving that plastic surgery industry!Nice let just Photoshop images to perfection and or cosmetic “artificial” beauty !So many people are fake !85% of people wear a mask.Up until recently I think 2 thirds of what the internet was used for primarily was PORN.pretty much underlines how important sex is to the Human specie we have sex for pleasure not just for procreation!We are 1 of 2 species doing it for pleasure!The Dolphins also do it for pleasure! Bonnobo chimps do it community “peace”They are one of the most peaceful primates.Thus Sex can create aggression.But aggression is a natural gift used right at the right times can have positive outcome.Thus sexual drive!

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  27. She is cute says:

    I lik wot am seein

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  28. She is cute says:

    Oyedepo.u r beautiful

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

  29. Anonymous says:

    You’re full of criticism aren’t you? I suppose you think you are perfect of course, but then you must also be myopic.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 0

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