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Liberal Smut

by Paul Hjul / 24.01.2012

When I was small (and Christmas trees were tall), I thought it would be cool to one day, when I was big, to be like Barry Ronge. In my mind the guy had this awesome job of watching movies (and clearly eating endless amounts of popcorn doing so), but more importantly he got to tell people exactly how stupid some of the movies were. Unfortunately as I grew older the fantasy job of a film critic withered away. For one thing I would never be big like Barry Ronge.

The main realization I had was that I would have to review endless amounts of smut. Not the good sort you get from Vivid or Disney. No the sort of smut which shows the prejudices, stupidities and insecurities of its creator. Smut which political parties around the world use to pollute the political environment.

Since 1994 the ANC has always lead the charge in South African political obfuscation and smut, having mastered the art of rewriting history. Also, by having both Winnie and Julius on their roster of persons prepared to commit any act of indecency or depravity save (thankfully) full frontal nudity, the ANC can compete with the most prolific of producers of adult entertainment.

The ACDP and various other prophecies have each contributed the standard regiment of blasphemous (the Lord demands our bigotry) smut and COPE (my own political affiliation) would probably make a fairly valuable contribution to the production of smut if it could stave off the sheriff from attaching the cameras.

Fortunately, the South African political scene does not only consist exclusively of little political parties waiting to be consumed whole by the one-party agenda of the ANC. After all there is the trusty DA who, regardless of ANC smut, will never introduce something as inefficient and idiotic as apartheid – Cape Town under the DA is classist, not racist. Accompanying the DA is the campaign of an alternative to the ANC, a two party system obsession and a sordid arrogance that cannot easily be explained – particularly not on twitter.

Like the ANC, the DA strongly believes in spreading its tentacles into student life which it does through DASO. Of course organizations like DASO have no interest in actually representing students’ interests but rather in integrating the broader agenda of getting the parent body into power. This is why we have not seen DASO and SASCO and the other formations standing together to issue a joint statement on the tragic events surrounding registration. Like the ANC, the DA feels the need to reduce the electorate into voting cattle and to rely on the most primitive of forms of engagement.

What the DA youth are pronouncing is that they seek to introduce a glossed over society of beautiful, lust-filled, monogamous youths embracing each other. What they do not acknowledge is that glamour magazine pictures of interracial intercourse are a far cry from the areas where actual racism and actual homophobia are causing actual harm. The causal sexual connection of two South African’s is hardly a mantra for a political organization. Or is it?

But at least they have moved on. In 2003 the DA’s youth formation at Rhodes were signing up members by giving them “free” pizza (of course the sign up was debited to your student account) and really operated as nothing other than a party (in the alcohol and revelry sense) society – quite amusingly I had friends belonging to both SASCO and Demsoc.

In choosing to produce an advertisement which appears to be endorsing Men’s Clinic International, the DA have opened themselves up to the  scorn and ridicule of anybody with the slightest regard for satire: “Are weak erections ruining your sex life? Visit to the DA youth where a custom groomed post-apartheid sex worker will be available to allow you to play out your repressed desires and deep hatred in one lust filled outing”. Of course hatred here could be nothing other than hatred for yourself – white guilt is a bitch. And whilst the capacity for limp jokes and poor puns are endless a great deal of truth about just how wrong this poster is may be revealed in some of the hardest criticsm.

Unfortunately if DASO represents the future of the DA, it is unlikely that DA members will be elected (they may however get erected). And if DASO and SASCO represent the future political activity in a two party South Africa then Dr Nzimande – and his colonial ways – is not the greatest threat to our youth. Hopefully the public will tear this campaign to pieces and all political organizations will think a little more carefully before producing such idiotic smut, or that they will have the sense to relegate it to a special channel on DSTV (TopTV having elected to carry the good smut).

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