Hello Weeniesby Montle Moorosi, images by Justin McGee / 09.11.2009
Question: Since when do South Africans celebrate Halloween? When people were asking me what I’m doing for Halloween the week before, I was morbidly astounded. I was like what are you doing for Kwanza? 4th of July maybe? Do you celebrate menopause by any chance? Die Antwoord was headlining, I saw them once in Pretoria and I was seriously scared for my life, a lynching looked imminent. Call me racist but whenever I hear Afrikaans and it’s not spoken by a coloured guy I just start to think I’m about to be force fed piss and made to run some hurdles, or maybe even get dragged on a farm road behind a Toyota Hilux. The name Waddy Watkin Tudor Jones junior doesn’t sound too Afrikaans to me, but what do I know, I’m a Sotho guy with a fake Italian name, and my friend Neil has a Nathaniel cook book in his living room.
Drugs don’t only ruin lives, they make black guys like this actually believe that they have a chance with white girls who don’t have dreadlocks and wear sandals and brown capri pants. The guy in the bow tie has probably made out with a mulatto once, and that’s the closest thing to a white woman he will ever see.
Whoa! if you look close you can almost see his wife’s titties, she’s wearing a leopard print bra. Nice. I hope I don’t get murdered. Is that Kelly Osbourne in the audience? Or is that an overweight leprechaun? A card in her hat? What is this, The Wizard of Oz? What’s really good?
Aw baby now youre just teasing! stop it i like it!
This is why I hate Halloween.
I hope Clinton can forgive me, but as you’ve noticed I have a thing for married women, but when it comes to me and Bianca Miles, we go way back, like that guy in the jungle who had sex with a monkey and started the Aids pandemic. I used to be in love with Bianca, I used to watch her on Basic all the time, scheming of ways to become famous qucikly so I could buy her a yacht. I never thought about her when I masturbated because I loved and respected her too much, and then I went and started dating Kelly Khumalo and forgot all about her in a minute.
Bitch please, you ain’t making no dough like me, and besides, you only pull Johns, and spread eagle is so 90’s, what you know about a squatting flamingo, bitch!?
A South African Halloween would not be complete without at least one murder or a rape or two. Isn’t this the same guy who killed Chris Hani and FW De Kleks wife?
Perhaps this is not so PC, but I think all she’s missing is to be boiling in a hot pot with a bone through her nose.
I don’t know why, and this is probably the dodgiest thing I’ve ever said but this guy radiates positive vibes.
A week ago this would have turned me on, now this just reminds me how really cheesy white people can get. I know it’s Halloween but by the looks on these girls faces they actually think they’re sexy French maids, guess what? You’re from Parys.
If only all of mankind was like this guy then there wouldn’t be fucked up shit like Aids and car guards.
I dont know why but a week ago I thought this picture was retarded, but now I think I’m in love again, having sex with a blue woman is what I imagine going down on E.T. must feel like, or eating an ice cream in the shower.
He’s white, fat, gay, dresses badly and clearly poor. His father must be a a hybrid between a Zulu Boy George and a half eaten chip and mayo sandwhich.