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Hello Nasty

Hello Nasty

by Giovanni “Montle” Valentino Moorosi, images by Justin McGee / 17.02.2010

Apparently this was the most boring party ever since the black race threw a launch party for laziness, making bush fires and not using condoms. I didn’t even go but I’m going to say nasty things about it because I have no integrity or credibility left intact now that everyone has found out that I’m actually a white Italian immigrant. Yes, I said “nigga” once or twice, but so what? I was just sniggering, can I say sniggering? What about niggardly? That’s some niggardly advice, and no apologies for Ethiopia either so let’s get involved!

Balls
“I gots two.”

Dunno
I really don’t know what I’m supposed to say here without making any “derogatory” remarks.

Zuma time
I bet you if I sent this picture to the office of Jacob Zuma I would get an immediate job in government, if not as the minister of Arts and Culture then at least honorary pimp to Msholozi.

Ignoramus
Shhh….can you hear that? That’s the sound of people ignoring you.

Lumberjack
Who would have thought that a Jewish lumberjack would be terrified of black people? He can sue them for millions, demolish their home and open up a Kibbutz and then if it’s not a Saturday he can cut off their mythological huge penises.

Sexy time
Justin had sex with this guy. (Allegedly – Ed)

Melo yellow
Ha, ha, ha this clowns name is Melo, we love to lie to him and tell him he can join our crew if he takes a beating from us. He always say’s he’s ready for it, but we just want to kick him in his balls and laugh at him and tell him to piss off. We don’t associate ourselves with rapists with ridiculous haircuts.

Australia
“Hey fuck off, I’m going back to Australia where I can get anything I want for a toasted koala sandwich and a Fosters beer, this country is bullshit.”

Soulmates
It’s so cute when people find their soul mates, who would have thought two people with penises for noses would have found each other in this city? Thank God for Gumtree and Facebook.

Punishment
Sometimes I wonder why God punished me and sent me to Johannesburg, the whole middle finger thing in photos is so Eminem when he still wore doo-rags and sweat pants. STOP THE PRESS! : It has come to the attention of our offices that he is actually a proctologist who just likes to show off.

Sweat Face
Sweat Face McGee, don’t hug him, watch out for those pit stains ladies, use a condom with him too, you might also want to seek some counselling afterwards and get cervical reconstruction surgery, that boy is a GOOD TIME MAFIA.

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RESPONSES (16)
  1. DylanJohn says:

    i think im going to have a toasted sandwich for lunch today, and maybe grab a dvd on the way home from work

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  2. Gladys Kravitz says:

    Good lord.

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  3. bro nomad says:

    Pathetic – get a life.

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  4. Anonymous says:

    Your writing is shit B!

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  5. Charly says:

    Notes to self: 1. Don’t invite Mahala’s Italian dude to anything. 2. Bear in mind he gets even nastier when he’s not invited. (PS Proctologists don’t actually use their middle finger, hel-lo…)

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  6. Phalafala says:

    God what’s wrong with you people, this shit is fuk-n-funny!! Go Montle

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  7. bro nomad says:

    No, this shit is now fuk-n-lame and way past its sell-by date. Mahala goes to arb parties, photographs pretentious, intoxicated socialites and posts smart captions. Of very little cultural value at all.

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  8. Woooof says:

    LAME!!! Yawned so hard i almost swallowed my face.

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  9. Kontlap says:

    Me I dnt party – i just write abt them – Valentino, u too spontaneous for these niggaz

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  10. Alternative-kid says:

    Mr. McGee you are fucking distorting my fingers! But they look pretty awesome still!

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  11. cunt rag says:

    Ek’t nie baljaar – skryf net oorie goed – Valentino, jy’s te spontaan vir hierie #@&&!rs

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  12. Phalafala says:

    That shit about working for JZ is golden… everyone so damn uptight on this site

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  13. chuck says:

    not uptight mate. just bored. stick around and you’ll find out montle writes the same article over and over and over again. even the photos all look the same at this point.

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  14. giovanni Moorosi says:

    you get what you pay for, take it up with andy davis. Montle is quitting this mahala thing. No money, empty promises, i really dont have the perogative to give you cuunts quality anymore.

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  15. Kontlap says:

    i cn wipe these cunts for you Mr Giovanni

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  16. cunt rag says:

    ek kan hierdie konte vir jou iutvee Mnr Giovanni

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