About Advertise
The Assembly

Dance with the Illuminati

by Andy Davis / 03.08.2011

We knew the truth would come out eventually. And finally, thanks to some excellent investigative work from the Facebook Group Open Your Minds SA, the Assembly in Cape Town has been exposed as a front for the Illuminati. We knew there was something fishy about all those triangles, the heavy bass and those damn lazers.

Previous Open Your Minds SA (OYMSA) investigations have uncovered that Nelson Mandela is a Freemason, as was Oliver Tambo. Below the smoking gun. The ANC stalwarts caught on film partaking in the secret Freemason handshake.

Mandela and Tambo Freemasons

As OYMSA put it: “Mandela, lionized by the Western Press, is a life long Communist activist and a known terrorist criminal. Mandela acquired power at the helm of the South African government by arrangement with the heads of the llluminati’s Rockefeller, Rothschild, and Oppenheimer dynasties. In exchange, the llluminati cartel holds exclusive rights to South Africa’s mineral rich assets of diamonds, gold and platinum.”

Thankfully OYMSA have not been asleep at their desks and have now exposed the dastardly intentions of the Cape Town nightlife institution. The Assembly have long been using triangles and other sacred symbols to brainwash their regular crowd of Southern Suburbs hipsters, but to what end? OYMSA have refused to speculate. “We are merely pointing out the subversive use of sacred symbolism which is brainwashing your subconscious.”

As if you needed further proof, one only has to listen to the musical output of Assembly regulars like Haezer, Dank and P.H.Fat to realise that something entirely unholy is happening on that dancefloor.

The conspiracy deepens. According to the OYMSA investigation, the club is “owned by a group of Jewish families, the majority stakeholders’ father and grandfather [have] both been major players in pushing for globalisation.”

The Berolsky family, who own the Assembly can only claim to be 50% Jewish and 50% Portuguese but with all that olive skin and curly hair we can excuse the oversight on behalf of OYMSA. Besides, the Berolsky family also owns and runs two restaurants in the city, which is pretty bonafide Jewish behaviour.

In a remarkably candid interview with Mahala, Sascha Berolsky admitted that his grandfather had indeed tried to take over the world by selling formal work shirts while his father had continued the family’s maniacal quest for global domination, on behalf of the elders of Zion (and Lisbon), by owning a record store in Johannesburg.

The OYMSA investigation goes on to: “Note…Discotheque is a brand name used for the parties every Friday night, the same with See you next Wednesday“. We’re not sure what point they’re trying to make here but we’re almost certain that it’s incriminating and further proof that if the Assembly had their way we’d all be wearing skinny jeans, training our emo fringes to cover one eye and dancing to international pop music like Lady Gaga while rampantly consuming shit we don’t need or want, polluting the world and accelerating climate change to create the perfect habitat for the shape-shifting Chitauli aliens.

Sounds like the back end of an average Saturday night, then.

105   64