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Butt Wiper

Butt Wiper

by Dave Durbach and Andy Davis / 14.06.2010

Did you know, like an old Chappies bubblegum wrapper, that because Budweiser, a beer few South Africans have ever tasted, is the official beer of the FIFA World Cup, it’s all you can purchase within 5 kilometers of the stadiums. Better yet, each bottle of the American beer costs R30 bucks a pop.

For the exclusive rights to foist an unknown beer on the South African footballing public, Budweiser’s parent company Anheuser-Busch pays the global footballing federation anything between 10 – 25 million US Dollars a year. Selling the Bud at Soccer City before the opening match between Bafana and Mexico is Dorcus Mahasha. She’s 33 years old.
“Are you getting paid or are you volunteering?”
“I’m getting paid.”
“Is the money OK?”
“I don’t know!”
“Why are you only selling Budweiser?”
“Cos it’s a unique drink.”
“Is it better than Castle and Black Label?”
“How much are you selling it for?”
“30 Rands. It’s expensive.”
“Do you drink Budweiser?”
“No, I don’t drink.”

It’s not like we at Mahala really feel sorry for brewing giants like SAB Miller. But it would’ve been lekker to have a variety of beers available at the games. But really this is a small fry complaint. The real irony is that without a major South African distribution deal in place, fans who actually like the overpriced American lager, won’t be able to find it when the World Cup is over. So, we ask, what exactly was the point?

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  1. Anonymous says:

    not just that. It also tastes like butt-water.

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  2. Anonymous says:

    Apparently in Germany, beer capital of the world, American “beer” is not allowed to be called as such, since it is closer to chemicals in water than an actual brewed Beer.

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  3. creepy steve says:

    having some inside info on the alcohol trade. the point is bud had the rights but could’nt get enough stock to supply the stadiums and fanparks here in time, sab stepped in to supply generic unbranded beers (probably castle) retailing at around 10 rond a pop and they don’t really give a fuck about the advertising promotion side of things when they are counting how many units they will sell at these venues, laka SA/SAB-1 FIFA/BUDWEISER-0 lets be honest it’s us versus them out there and in this instance the money stays in our economy

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  4. Gustav says:

    Even though I’m tired of the (justified) FIFA-bashing, this deserves condemnation. Cases like these show what potential an event like the world cup could have for advancing the host nation, instead of boosting narrow corporate interests. Imagine that – instead of buckling under Budweiser’s cash in 2004 – FIFA contracted with a group of South African micro-breweries with empowerment credentials to sell beer at the same price at the world cup. Then fans would have had a variety of tipple, jobs would have been created and SAB would have local competitors in international markets once the fans go home and get nostalgically thirsty.
    But ag well…let’s drink the 30% liquid genetically engineered rice, listen to the Columbian singing about it being time for Africa and feel proud of hoisting the flag to all of this. It is a world cup after all.

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  5. Andy says:

    Hey I’m at the game. This bud doesn’t taste that bad… Go Holland. Go coffee shop culture

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  6. creepy steve says:

    sure gustav thats assuming fifa gives a rats arse about advancing any of the host countries it’s ever squatted in, that is definetly not thier MO

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  7. strummer says:

    A pox on FIFA and their children for the bureaucratic corporate nightmare realization of a Orwell novel that is their idea of ‘bringing the beautiful game to africa’. End quote. Thousands of people queueing for hours for tickets, only to be told that no tickets available, all Cape Town games sold out. Imagine my surprise then on Friday night at France Uruguay game (dull as ditch-water) when I see blocks of empty seats. Apparently sections reserved by Match for sponsors and corporate VIP types who didn’t arrive. Behind the TV cameras. Hundreds of empty seats! Hundreds of people outside wanting to buy tickets! Go figure. Sunday papers quote FIFA as saying game had “full attendance”. Straight from the Ministry of Truth.

    And yes to quote Jerry Dammers ‘the beer tastes just like piss”.

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  8. Petra Mason says:

    Hit them up for sponsorship Andy!

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  9. BM says:

    “Imagine my surprise then on Friday night at France Uruguay game (dull as ditch-water) when I see blocks of empty seats. ”

    this echoes my level of fury after many days spent trying to catch the 0.1 second window of opportunity on the FIFA website. many, many empty seats. entire rows.

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  10. Anonymous says:

    What disturbs me is…how do you know what butt-water tastes like? Then again. I suppose you could have tasted it “by mistake” – but – how do these type of “mistakes” happen? Must make for an interesting story…

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  11. get over yourselves says:

    this is just more puerile, pointless writing. go to any big stadium or arena in other parts of the world – the brand new yankee stadium in new york, or the verizon centre in chicago, for example – and you’ll see the exact same thing. try and find anything other than bud light at yankee stadium for less than $10, and you’ll waste a lot of time. quit your monotonous, relentless moaning and focus on something interesting and worth reading.

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  12. andrew says:

    dorcas, haha.

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  13. Al says:

    what makes budweiser similar to having sex in a canoe?

    they’re both close to water…

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  14. Andy says:

    no repeating Monty Python without “quotes”

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  15. Marcus says:

    get over yourself – both of your “any big stadium in the world”. America is not the world, although both your examples are in the US (a country where corporations usually win out over consumer choice). It’s not the case in Europe or Asia or even for that matter other stadiums in the US (Wrigley Field, also in Chicago). I don’t think it’s the price that is the main problem. Drinks in stadiums are always overpriced, it’s the absolute lack of choice to a brand that has no relevance to South Africa or football for that matter. Clearly, just a corporate case of “Why? Because we can.”

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  16. Rashid says:

    Speaking from an insider’s perspective here: All the foreign guests that I have spoken to in hotels and restaurants all ask for local beers or display an interest in beers other than Bud! Even the North Americans. Common perception is that they are well aware of Budweiser BUT are also aware that South Africa brews its own beers too – the fact that Bud is only available at WC venues seems to spur their quest for other beers even further!

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