Sport

Tale of a Rugby Heathen

Monday, August 23rd, 2010 by Luke Mason
Behind the boerewors curtain disciples sit steadfast, silent in support of the green and gold. The service is about to start, the air heavy and devout. The barmaid, double chinned and bulldog jowled, pours and skulks, skulks and pours. A T-shirt bearing the slogan “Come have a few beers with us” is tented tight between her sagging boobs and a belly even Buddha wouldn’t rub. ...read more


Captain Dud

Tuesday, August 17th, 2010 by Ryan Govender
The moment approximately 49 million people, us, mentally stormed the opening game at Soccer City willing the ball into the net for a second goal against Mexico – Dale Steyn was standing in the Jamaican sun. Playing Test cricket. ...read more


Not Getting My Kicks

Thursday, July 22nd, 2010 by Dave Dunton, illustration by Rico
I don’t get soccer. I realize this is probably not going to be a popular view, with the iconic drone of happy vuvus still ringing in our ears; but there it is. Believe me, this is not due to a lack of trying – I watched most of the World Cup’s big games, and a few of the small ones too. ...read more


End of the World (Cup)

Monday, July 19th, 2010 by Roger Young, illustration by Alastair Laird
Predictably the swell of FIFA approved journalist’s tweeting about their withdrawal symptoms culminated late last week in “think” pieces about what we have learnt from hosting the World Cup. Even more predictably most of them focus on how proud we should be that Sepp Blatter has given us a little pat on the head and how now we should start working towards an Olympic Bid. But let’s just cut to the chase and say it up front, Fuck the ...read more


When Days Are Dark

Wednesday, July 14th, 2010 by Dan Gillespie
The Tri-Nations kicked off to a disappointing start this weekend. After conquering all and sundry during last year’s edition (apart from that game at Brisbane that we won’t mention), everyone expected us to roll over the All Blacks this weekend. FAIL. ...read more


After the Party

Tuesday, July 13th, 2010 by Vuyo Seripe
We all felt the fever – it was here. Now it’s gone. What’s next? We all sort of knew the boys wouldn’t make it very far in The Cup – but we dared to dream. Which was good for us. It’s been awhile since we had something warm and good to rally around. ...read more


That’s All Folks

Monday, July 12th, 2010 by Dave Durbach
The month-long football orgy culminated last night in a spectacular closing ceremony starring Madiba himself, a moving occasion that did little to predict the bruising encounter that followed, with British ref Howard Webb dishing out no fewer than 14 yellow cards, more than double the previous record for a World Cup final. ...read more


All Wrapped in Bacon

Thursday, July 8th, 2010 by Dave Durbach
Stab-proof fan vests; looming race wars; terrorism; hooliganism. The seeds of doubt that were planted in the international media before the World Cup now seem like a distant memory. The first African World Cup has turned out to be among the most well-organised and incident-free of them all. Besides the FIFA machine itself, much of the credit is owed to our very own police force. ...read more


Hey, That’s No Way To Say Goodbye

Tuesday, July 6th, 2010 by Dave Durbach and Andy Davis, images by Dave Durbach
Before we can look forward, we must first deal with the traumas of our past. Before we can urge our old colonial masters, the Dutch, to thump the new villains of this World Cup, Uruguay, we must confront the pain and anguish of Africa’s last minute defeat at the dishonourable hands of Luis Suarez. ...read more


The Hugo Chavez of Football

Friday, July 2nd, 2010 by Dave Durbach
For those who doubted the influence of a coach over a national team full of millionaire players, look no further than the differing fortunes of France and Argentina. ...read more