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Lhola Amira - The Harlot's Feet

The Harlot’s Feet

by Lhola Amira / 26.11.2010

Lhola Amira is one of the most in demand high end call girls in the country. She has a uniquely intimate perspective on the state of the nation given her select client base (including a host of government officials, a Provincial MEC, business leaders, and one or two key players in the tri-partite alliance). She writes exclusively for Mahala. These are her thoughts.

Jesus is my first encounter with a socialist revolutionaire, but his bible troubles me – it rejects me completely. As a woman, a black person. At least he washed the harlot’s feet. He washed her feet. Which kills me. Naturally I inspect history.

The condition of blackness is serious. Post-1994 has changed nothing for most of us.
This is where I am at: lynched. I’m in a dire space, the illusion of the Rainbow Nation has dissolved. The truth is painful. Out of black suffering I’m at black depression.

The burden of womanhood. The intensity of being black. The mirror lies to me and says, “you’re fine, Lhola, everything is fine.” I walk streets and hear them echo, “no need for your volatile blackness here!” My anger mutates. I seek solace in books at home alone about ‘revolutionary men’. Can they free me from the echoes?

I write my own way out. On hotel stationary. When he’s washing up. When he’s done. These after moments in hotel rooms. These songs of myself. His money in my hands.

My body is written by unknown authors
My limbs are parted by faceless men.
My thighs are gutted ghetto streets.
What more can you take from me?
You pollute my insides. Yet you scramble for me still,
Drawing lines like veins.

Can the revolution still-to-come save me? When my own black skin yearns for whiteness. How weird is that? How sad. Would that ease the pain? Was Fanon right? Was Biko? Is our contemporary Black Wash working? Illusions of whiteness. So many traps. But I’ll write my way out. On hotel stationary. When he’s washing up. When he’s done. These songs of myself. His money in my hands.

I’m the dark cannibalistic sister
Of your fever dreams, your Tarzan dreams.
I am the slave, cotton weaving the modern age.
Made from the core of a universe. I’m black.
Even my words are not my own. In your tongue.
I am a coconut. I’m waiting to evolve. Waiting to take on my white self.
But my black body denies me.
Lynched, my feet dangle, swaying, after this beautiful violence.
My womb sings its painful symphony
My womb’s a commodity
And my eyes look upon your whiteness John, trick, stud
And I smile with dry lips dry, cracked lips that say
Am I white yet? Have I suffered enough?

This is it. Tomorrow I stop. No more. I’ll awaken and wash my own feet. But right now I’m in-between spaces where nothing exists. Until he comes back for more.

8   3
  1. Tomas says:

    So . . . what are your rates?

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  2. Mugabe says:

    I like it. It’s creative writing by a hooker, fuck that’s all kinds of win. I thought u were going to name and shame, I nearly kak’d myself! 😀

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  3. Bcoop says:

    crap pic though

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  4. muerte says:

    Yeah if only it was one of your by-the-numbers Sports Illustrated models…

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  5. Anonymous says:

    she could put on a blonde wig for you Coop

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  6. Tomas says:

    ….If only she were white.

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  7. polpotty says:

    A whore who’s read Frantz Fanon? So what’s actually her background, then? She completed a BA, realised that the word ‘postcolonialism’ doesn’t keep the lights on, and thought, “Oh, heck. Might as well sell the old body.” ?

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  8. muerte says:

    These are the intrigues that keep them ‘coming’ back…

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  9. Deluca says:

    Damn! Nice writing, lady.

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  10. Kontlap says:

    This is a beautiful piece of writing, this is a kind of woman i wld marry

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  11. New York Night Train says:

    Amazing image.

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  12. Anonymous says:

    ha ha polpotty, you’re quite right. High-end callgirl, my ass! This is a desperate, lonely, bewildered bit of fiction. And I should know, being myself a rapidly ageing black strumpet of limited means.

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  13. Anonymous says:

    Kontlappie, wot a sensitive soul beneath that disgraceful name!

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  14. Anonymous says:

    But she is white, Tomas.

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  15. bahumbuggah says:

    The harlot’s feet, indeed! Lhola seems to lack empathy for the poor bewildered chaps who pay her bills. She lacks the requisite heart of gold. This is unbecoming in a harlot. I expect better from harlots, call me romantic.

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  16. jabroer says:

    It is with heavy heart we survey the bleak wasteland that is sex-work in our benighted land. Where’s the joy, the uplift, the Dionysian zest?

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