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It's that moment

It’s That Moment

by Lwanda Sindaphi / 29.11.2013

Born in the Eastern Cape in 1988, Lwanda Sindaphi now lives in Cape Town in the Western Cape. He started documenting social ills, personal feelings and history of the entire world at the age of twelve, influenced by Sol Plaatjie. Poet, actor, and playwright, Lwanda also uses hip-hop to express himself.

“It is that moment when your body is tightly entangled with passion and ecstasy that you forget that tomorrow is also a day. It is that moment when you look back wishing you could go back and take back some of your actions.”

Ngula Mzuzwana

Ngula mzuzu uziva ngawo ukuba uphumile enynyhwini,ungenile ezulwnini,uthando luxuxuzela emathunjini
Ngula mzuzu uphuma ngawo ezingqondweni,uthathe izgqibo usebuthongweni ngoba uziva udada emathandweni ngathi awusekho semhlabeni
Ngula mzuzwana kuvalwa ngawo icango kulahlwe iimpahla nezihlangu imincili inithi wambu
Xa kujulwa pha ezo jezi nizibone ningena eParadesi kuqhakraza iinkwnkwezi ngenxa yovuyo kuphuma iinyembezi kanti izigqibo enizithathileyo zimanyukunyezi
Ngula mzuzwana ninyimbaza ngawo kubekho nezinqa ezibhenqwayo.nebhedi ezivovayo kubekho lo ungxamayo kanti ikho le nto ulityalwayo
Ngenxa yembembelelo eniphantsi kwazo needyasi anisenazo kwaye aninaxesha lazo,aniziqondi nizixhaxha intamo ngembazo
Nibe nifuthela phezulu pahntsi kwengubo luqhushululu nesimo sinyulu kwezothando ningene nzulu
Niziqikaqika kwelo thango lothando intliziyo imane ifumana kweli thamo
Ivalwe mba iminyango
Xa kunje kolu hambo nomhedeni angavuma afunge ukuba uThixo luthando atsho ayixabise nendalo
Nglula mzuzwana kuqhathwa ngawo umfazi yindoda isithi idyasi akayixhasi ayimchazi zange isetyenziswe ngangabaphantsi nantsi ilotto masithathe amatshansi
Thyini unesibindi uthatha amatshansi angenazigidi awusaziva nona uyabhuda uthe phithi ngumdidi
Kuxhelw’Exhukwane kucinywe nezibane kudlalwa umasigonagonane guqulane kude kubentlazane
Kutsho izijwili nibanjwe yimincili ningquba ngemiphambili kuyiyizela amaxhwili nentombi ingazazi noba mayithini
Ngula mzuzwa kuthenjiswana ngawo ngezulu nomhlaba noba ndingatshaba intombi efana nawe ndohlala ndiyithanda
Nebe niseKanana elizweni lwenyosi
Ngolahla idyasi nizibezela ingozi
Xa kunje iingelosi zithanda ukuyidedela ipozi
Kode kuse indoda ixoka oku koNonqawuse isithi izithyilelo zayo zingabenza abafile bavuswe
Awusaziboni noba uyayipotya
Qaphelisisa yindlela ebheka ekufeni le wena uyalotywa
Ngula mzuzu wokuqhutywa yindywala ugqithise usana kumama ungazazi ukuba uyazibulala uzombela ngokwakho ingcwaba
Ngula mzuzu wokuvuka ekuseni uphuthaphuthe emazantsi esinqeni ubhuqabhuqe idyasi ezingubeni
Kubekho le nto ungayiqondiyo nibuzane imibuzo engaphaliyo
Le nto iyakukhwankqisa idyasi khange uqalise ukuyisebenzisa ezo ndaba ziyakuphambanisa, koyikisa, xhalisa utsho uyeke noba ngubhuti Madlisa
Ungafuni nokuyibalisa xa usitya uyacekisa iingcinga zibe zikungcungcuthekisa uqonde ukwabelana ngezesondo uyaziqalekisa
Uqalise ukuzisola intliziyo ibe ingomba ixhala lingongoza ngoba uyazazi uzokuzonza vontshoza yiyo lo nto ucinga ngokuzixhoma
Ngula mzuzu uthatha ngawo isigqibo sokuba uyokuzijonga ngoba naninina ukufa kungakuwola
Ungene esibhedlele ubone imilwelwe uzixelele nawe esi sihlo singakhe sikwehlele
Uxhwakrele ugqirha ube uqiqa usoyika uqalekise amabhinqa
Litsalwe igazi ucinge ngala mhla ungazange usebenzise ngawo ibhatyi ingqondo irhintyelwe ziifratsi
Umane uphatha uyeka
Akukho xesha lokuzigxeka lishiyike nawe icekwa
Uhleli esitulweni uxhalabile amatyathanga esifubeni aboshiwe ngoba igazi litsaliwe
Awuzinzi kakuhle nomphefumlo ulindele iziphumo ukufa ukuva ngempumlo
Ugwetywe lixhala nesingqala awusayazi neyokuqala
Vuma sukuphika akhonto unobasayiphika wawungayazi eli suku lizakufika likuphathise ngephika
Apha kusemhlabeni awunothatha ingqondo uyibeke emaqatheni unyathele ngayo edakeni ngoba uyakuzibhaqa sowusemadlakeni
Zijonge ufunyenwe ngugawulayo ngenxa yengqondo ongenayo
Ziyaqengqeleka iinyanga neminyaka itreatment awusafuni ukuyithatha ulikhoboka lotywala noluntu luthe nkamalala
Sizomane sisithi ubomi bugadalala kanti sizibulala ngokwethu kulo mhlaba ngaphezukoko akhosathana unamdndla
Ewe yeyakho le nyewe hlala womelele ubuyeke ubomi buqhubekeke
Ngula mzuzu uzivalele wedwa ubanjwe ngumvendedwa ucinge la mhla wawuhendwa butywala kodwa wakwazi ukuqhubekeka
Wonganyelwe ziingcinga nale ntsholongwane iyakulinga ikwenza ubengumcinga umane usithi kuyanyiwa
Umane usithi ubomi ngumzamo ngelo xesha ulithambo engcwabeni awusekokutya ulithamo
Ziluthotho iingcinga zizala ingcikolo ezingumqobo zinguhlobo otshabisa umnombo nawe mgoku uthe xhonxosholo
Uthi uMdali makakuthathe kakade sowuncame nobomi obungunaphakade
Awsakwazi nokuzityele,hambela uhleli ebhedini uyaphela izihlobo nezalaman e zimane ukundwendwela zikomeleza zisithi nyamezela
Bona abo bakha umkhanyo bayakhuzu bafuna ukubuza qha bayabona le ntsholongwane iyakukhukhuza
Ngula mzuzu umama wakho eciphizisa iinyembezi phezukwakho
Esikwa yinimba esithi uSomandla uligwiba nokuba ikamva lingamfiliba ngenye imini lizakuhluma lebe yinyibiba
Wena ube uzazi ukuba uyahamba yona ingelosi yokufa izokuthatha
Untswenyile njenge ntyatyambo xa ibuna wongnyelwe kukugula
Amakholwa selindele ukuvuma uwakrazulwa xa uSomandla ekukuhulua
Amanxeba ephululwa
Imeva libangulwa
Ngula mzuzu kuhla ngawo ibhokisi igqunyelelwa
Kwabo bakhe bakuthanda iinnyembezi ziyazehlela
Kube ngawe kuyaphela

Translation:

It’s That Moment

It’s that moment you know you’ve stepped out and you have entered into love when it groans in your gut
It’s that moment you step out of sense and make decisions in your sleep, because you feel like you’re swimming in love like you’re not on earth
It’s that moment a door is closed and clothes and shoes are tossed, excitement taking over
It’s when jerseys lay strewn, you see yourselves enter paradise, the stars shining and tears of joy flow when all the while you’re making a gruesome decision
It’s that moment when you’re tickling, hips are thrusting and beds fold in then one of you hastens while you forget something
Because of the influence you’re under, you no longer have “coats” and you have no care for them.You don’t know you are slitting your own throats
Heavy breathing and under blankets.
It’s a clean war of love that you are deep in
You bask in that kraal of love while your heart sips in its water
Doors are tightly closed
When the journey is like this, a heathen can swear that God is love and treasure nature
It’s that moment a man tricks a woman by saying he’s against the “coat”, it doesn’t please him, the ancestors didn’t use it “Here’s our Lotto, lets take a chance”
The audacity! You take chances where there are no millions.Can you not hear that you err ass you’re busy with the bum
Festivities! Lights are dimmed and while games are played till morning
Cries are let out, you’re stunned by ecstacy as your privates dance and birds and girls ululate not knowing what else to do
It’s that moment promises of heaven and earth are made “Even in when I die a girl like you I’ll always love”
You’re in Canaan, the land of bees
By disregarding the “coat” you beckon danger
When this happens, angels underestimate/ undermine the pozie
A man will argue till dawn breaks like Nongwawuse saying his revelations can raise the dead
You can’t even see that you’re ruining things
Beware. It’s the road to death you’re taking.You’re being lured
It’s that moment alcohol drives and you’re carelss not knowing you’re digging your own grave

It’s that moment in the morning you search below the waist searching for the “coat” under blankets
Then you’re not sure.You ask each other endless questions
This news that you did not use the “coat” shocks, frightens, stresses you to the point the stud/ladies man/Casanova goes out the window

You don’t want to tell anyone, you have not appetite and your own thoughts taunt you as you realise unprotected sex s a self-curse
You start to regret as a your heart thumps against your chest as you think of the repercussions. You want to hang yourself
It’s that moment you decide to get tested as you expect death to sweep you away at anytime
You go to hospital and see patients waste away and you tell yourself that will happen to you
You curse women as you wait to see the doctor
Blood is taken, you think back to the day you didn’t use the coat and your mind is warped in deep thought
Your mind thinks here, thinks there
No time to beat yourself up.
You are alone in this
You sit on the chair worried, your chest is shackled and the blood has been taken
You’re restless and your soul waits for your death, you can smell death
You’re sentenced by fear, you don’t know your beginning from your end
Admit, don’t deny.There’s no denying it.You didn’t know that day would have you breathing with difficulty
In this world, you cannot put your brain where your foot is and walk with it otherwise you’ll find yourself in a grave
Look at you, contracting HIV because of your lack of a brain
Months have passed and you don’t take your treatment.
Instead you’re a slave to alcohol and people are watching
We keep saying life is rough when we’re the ones who kill themselves and by the way the devil has no power
This battle is your own.
Stay strong and let life go on
It’s that moment you’re imprisoned by your thoughts and you think back on the day alcohol influenced you
You’re overwhelmed and this virus eats away at you,you become thin and you keep cursing life
You keep saying life is about trying while you’re a bone in the grave
Thought break through the noise of the pandemic that destroys your lineage
You beg the Creator to take you, you have even given up on eternal life
You can’t walk or eat on your own.Your friends visit your bedside encouraging you to hold on
Those on the sidelines gasp, they want to ask questions but can see the virus if eating away at you
It’s that moment your mother cries above you
Gutted she cries “God you’re my fotress even when the future id bleak, one day it will be okay”
You know the angel of death is on his way to fetch you
You shrivel like a dying flower as sickness engulfs you
Believers await to sing funeral hymns when God releases you
You’re are healed
Thorns are removed
It’s the moment the coffin is lowered
Tears flower from the faces of those who have loved you
And that is the end of you

*For more on Lwanda and other Pan-African poets please visit Badilisha Poetry X-change, produced by the Africa Centre.

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