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evol

Come as You Are

by Hugh Upsher / 29.05.2013

‘You haven’t experienced Evol properly unless you’ve sucked a dudes dick and done a line of cocaine.’

‘How do I go about doing that?’

‘Just go down to the bottom bathrooms, that’s where it all goes down.’

This was an interaction I had with a guy who admitted to me that it was his first time at Evol. I was trying to be funny, and so was he. It seemed like an appropriate introduction to this somewhat androgynous club. The fairest way to describe Evol is reductively. It is not a gay club, it is not hipster and it doesn’t play music you recognize. It is also important to clarify that Evol is not a venue, nor is it an event. It is not even a brand. For the most part it is simply a happening. Every Friday from 12 til 4AM.

existance

The beauty of this arrangement gives the organisers absolute creative freedom without the burden of any serious financial risk. And freedom is an attractive quality. Especially to the no-one-tells-me-how-to-live-my-life art school crowd it attracts each week. There is no dress code, no VIP lounge, there is no headline act and there are no guidelines on how you should dance.

dance

On my last visit I had an amusing conversation about how fashion culture has rendered the Christian Cross meaningless though misappropriation. The next logical step would be opening a club called Mosque and they would serve Halaal tequila that’s been dyed pink like the sausages.

I’ve always treasured my oblivious nature when it comes to interacting with acquaintance that may or may not be under the influence. It literally takes a nosebleed, confession or comedic falling over/around inanimate objects for me to suspect anything is up. Either way I’ve had some of my most eccentric and favourite conversations in Evol

cocaine

The venue is a visual mess of invasive branding, framed photos of horse racing and projections of glitch 3D ‘art’. The tension between this crumby sports bar come alternative club doesn’t really distract from the appeal, in fact one could say it just adds to the rich personality.

slots

monster

It is a venue of two worlds. You can follow the route of self-destructive debauchery on the dance floor or have intelligent conversation in a well-lit, significantly quieter pool hall. These are clearly divided in a geographical sense but thankfully the cross-pollination is rife. Then there is the middle ground. A dark lounge section acts as a purgatory of sorts with pieces of furniture with stories to tell.

07couches

It is somewhat of an anomaly to come across something successful that has no mission statement, solidified construct of personality and no visible ambition. I suppose there will always be a market for people looking to find the in-between, the anti, the blank. Evol isn’t this, but it isn’t trying very hard not to be. I may have overthought this one…

* All illustrations © Hugh Upsher

37   4
RESPONSES (25)
  1. ya says:

    liked what i was reading till i realized it was on mahala.

    you guys suck.

    hate is all you spread so just wanted to give some back to you.

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  2. Hugh says:

    I love everything about Evol. This is a tribute.

    Thumb up13   Thumb down 2

  3. Hipster dressed as vegetable says:

    Another article on Mahala by an annoying, pseudo intellectual who sits atop of his Michaelis pedestal and uses this forum to showcase his pointless views and IRONICALLY crummy M.S Paint skills.

    Redundant and boring as hell.

    You’re just another brick in the Evol wall Hugh. Best for your ego to stay in denial and pretend that its insight into a world that you’ve been apart of for years is separate from your inflated persona.

    God. How many people care? Sorry. I meant in proportion to the amount of Facebook likes I’m sure you’ve received after sharing this.

    Man. Cape Town reeks.

    Thumb up18   Thumb down 13

  4. Andy says:

    ya… you should actually read what we write. you big dumbass!

    Thumb up4   Thumb down 1

  5. Hugh says:

    to Hipster dressed as vegetable

    It couldn’t have been that boring if you took your time to read and comment. Unless you didn’t read it all and just focused on your pseudo intellectual response. lol

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  6. Hipster dressed as vegetable says:

    I took the time to read it because I was curious.

    I took the time out to comment because I am constantly amazed by the levels of self importance within this community.

    There is nothing pseudo about that. The poop above, however, is a different story.

    *lol

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  7. Hipster dressed as vegetable says:

    but i’m poop anyway

    *lol

    Thumb up3   Thumb down 3

  8. Hipster dressed as vegetable says:

    At least capitalize the “B” if you’re going to post under my pseudonym?

    Least you could do.

    Must have struck a nerve.

    Thumb up6   Thumb down 2

  9. Roger Young says:

    It never ends.

    Thumb up7   Thumb down 0

  10. KIEF JOL says:

    I thought it was funny. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

    Thumb up3   Thumb down 1

  11. Hipster dressed as vegetable says:

    :,(

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 3

  12. Hipster dressed as vegetable says:

    Great response. Sums up everything i said previously.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 2

  13. Hipster dressed as vegetable says:

    Nothing sadder than someone who writes a shitty article and then posts responses under someone elses pseudonym ON THEIR OWN SHITTY article on Mahala.

    Jeepers Hugh.

    New material and or topic for your next text wankfest?

    Thumb up5   Thumb down 4

  14. Muddebunker says:

    If you opened a club called Mosque and serve pink tequila and sausages i would go

    Thumb up5   Thumb down 0

  15. Hipster dressed as vegetable says:

    heeeeeepsteeeeeer dreeeeeeseddddd asssssssssss veeeeeeeggggiezzzzzz

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 2

  16. Hipster dressed as vegetable says:

    Pathetic, really.

    Thumb up0   Thumb down 2

  17. Hugh Upsher says:

    Young FaniSunHugh Upsher
    I really liked your article on EVOL. It summed it up beautifully. It was also so spot on. Fuck Hipsters dressed as vegetables. POOP POOP POOP ALL DAY HUGH, POOP AWAY!!!
    Like · · 14 minutes ago ·
    .
    Hugh Upsher likes this.

    Hugh Upsher shot! Haters gonna hate. so much left unsaid though.

    10 minutes ago · Like · 1

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  18. Vegetables dressed as hipsters says:

    I think Hugh Upsher is a pretty cool guy

    He kills aliens and doesn’t afraid of anything

    Thumb up2   Thumb down 1

  19. KAT says:

    Hugh i think you are great and very funny…
    Nice crummy M.S Paint skills- they always make me smile…
    the haters are jealz as they cant go to the parties you go to…
    love from kat your friend from your Michaelis pedestal 😉

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  20. David R says:

    I think it’s simple. The comments by ‘Hipster dressed as vegetable’ (funny name) is because this review or article feels more like something I’d expect to read on your personal blog (if you have one?).

    I appreciate the satire, but it is poorly executed and… amateurish.

    Perhaps that’s your gimmick, I don’t know, but it does feel more like an excuse to paint silly drawings and share self indulgent experiences – which do have an air to them.

    I also appreciate that you don’t write for M&G but this feels more like a personal Matric art project than anything else.

    That’s just my take..

    Peace

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  21. Cde Tjatjarag says:

    fuck these guys Hugh! That Grandslots illustration takes it. David R sounds like a chop and who knows what’s wrong with Hipster vegetable. Either way, these illustrated reviews are great and one of the reasons i keep coming back to this place… despite the fact that they haven’t updated the site since like 2004.

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  22. Hugh Upsher says:

    I AM EVOL.

    I LIVE IN LOVE RD.

    (DR. EVOL SPELLED BACKWARDVOL)

    UBERCOOLVOL.

    Thanks for all the nice words. Let’s have a drink soon! I’ll do a dare and smooch your girlfriends ex boyfriend or something.

    Kiff!

    Subscribe to my youtube channel so you can watch more of my funny stuff!

    Thumb up4   Thumb down 2

  23. Ling Ling says:

    I’v never been but I am sure as fuck going now.

    Thumb up2   Thumb down 0

  24. fuck hugh says:

    fap fap fap

    Thumb up3   Thumb down 1

  25. derp says:

    hugh is one of the only writers in ct worth reading. sorry, angry white guys.

    Thumb up1   Thumb down 0

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